During my first Panchakarma treatment in India in 2004 I was a mess.
Physically I was all over the place and pretty desperate. I had rosacea all over my face (eczema) my liver was aching and, by all accounts, under serious stress, I had high levels of toxicity from years of chemical abuse, I was exhausted and sick.
Mentally I was a mess, I had permanent frown lines between my eyes and I was highly charged, nearly always frustrated and angry, and anxious.
Emotionally I was still carrying all the baggage of the unresolved past. The bags were heavy but I carried them anyway, I guess I didn’t know there was a choice to put them down, we don’t get that truly until we have put them down. I just couldn’t let go.
Spiritually I felt no visceral connection with God, the divine, natural intelligence or anything. It was all conceptual at that stage of my life, and no amount of ‘beliefs’ helped me.
Can you see how everything in my life was reflecting everything else?
There was a deep holding on to the past on all levels.
That toxicity was deeply embedded, both in my psyche AND in my body.
When I understood this connection it almost didn’t matter where I started the journey of release and renewal because I was going to come up against everything anyway. That’s what happens in real healing.
If you start on the physical level it’s going to bring you face to face with yourself, your stuff, your past, your beliefs, your defenses and your grievances. Your task is to meet everything even though it hurts.
That’s detoxification. It is powerful but deeply transformative.
And if you are in any doubt, just keep going, one step at a time, bit by bit, little by little.
Here I am at Ayushakti in Mumbai, 2004
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