What Did I Do To Heal Ulcerative Colitis?

One thing I am always careful of when I talk to people about healing ‘disease’ is this. No two people are the same, there is no one magic bullet that heals all people of all diseases, and thus what worked for me may not work for someone else.

Once we really understand that we have a choice to take greater responsibility for our own predicament. It is not always easy being both the sufferer AND becoming the investigator and researcher. But that is what must happen. Of course we will always need experts and professionals to guide us, support us and test us, but part of the healing itself is for us to become actively involved in making sense of our situation and becoming our own healers. That process creates new energy within us that becomes part of the journey.

So with all that said let me share once again some insights into my own healing path and what it involved.

When I was diagnosed with Inflammatory Bowel Disease (in particular Ulcerative Colitis) I had no idea what it was or what to do. But my first instinct was to investigate more rather than just accept the medication and prognosis the consultants and doctors offered me. I figured (intuitively) that my body was in meltdown with an overload of toxicity so to just load it up with more pharmaceuticals was heading in the wrong direction.

The professionals thought I was irresponsible and just plain wrong. I walked out of the hospital. I believe I was right, and the proof is that I never took any medication from that day to this, and those same professionals were emphatic that I would be on meds for the rest of my life. It just goes to show some of what is possible. They are not always right by any stretch of the imagination.

So that was important for me. I didn’t load my body any more than it was already loaded.

And then I went full-on detoxification. I could no longer eat properly anyway, suffering at times 20 bowel movements a day, losing a lot of blood and becoming increasingly weaker and more anaemic day by day. I went to India for two more detoxification panchakarmas, and I shifted slowly to a raw food diet. Raw food is inherently cleansing, but also pretty rough on the colon and very cooling, so there was a positive effect but also a negative effect and pretty soon I think my immune system was all but shut down, leaving me vulnerable to other issues like Raynaud’s disease, possible scleroderma and thyroid problems.

I spent two years 90% housebound and lost in confusion, fear, anger and physical suffering. It was tough. But I worked and worked on myself. I left no stone unturned, and even when I gave up I didn’t really give up. I hit rock bottom but somehow hung on in there and trusted that something deep was happening. I learned that healing is not a linear movement, it works in a spiral. And that means sometimes we feel worse when we are getting better, and at times we must revisit old traumas and scary places in order to assimilate them and/or let them go.

I learned that healing is PROFOUND. The healing call, if and when it calls, is not some little voice that just wants everything alright again. It is bigger, much bigger than that. The healing voice is shouting at us to change everything, to change fundamentally. It is huge. It wants TRANSFORMATION.

It took everything for me.

But here is the most extraordinary thing that changed for me, and for which I am still grateful and still amazed.

I saw and healed the dysfunctional relationship between my mind and my body. I came to understand what part in my illness, and wellness, in fact my whole life, my mind played. It was a HUGE revelation and one which still reveals itself over and over again.

I don’t think we have yet fully grasped the power of mind to influence body, both negatively and positively. I am so glad I worked on it, and I always advise those who are in any way suffering, to inquire for themselves what is going on.

I like to think of it like this. There is a mutual relationship going on between mind and body. Mind affects body AND body affects mind. It is a bio energetic feedback loop. And it can get very stuck in one mode of operation, that of negativity. It doesn’t matter where it started, in the body or in the mind, who cares! What matters is intervention in the endless loop. Intervene as deep as possible on the body level and things will slowly change on the mental level, which will then affect the body level. Intervene on the mental level and it will slowly have an impact on the body level.

But intervene on BOTH the body level AND the mental level and transformation of the whole organism may well happen.

It was tough for me. It lasted at least ten years and it took me to every part of myself. It was slow. It was scary. Like all huge journeys it challenged me, called me to step up to the plate, but eventually things started to change.

Clean up the body. Clean up the mind.

As you can read, I’m not talking about the details of what I did to heal. I haven’t mentioned any foods, herbs, protocols, supplements, exercises, meditations or anything. That is the challenge we all face.

The people who I have met who have healed have all got one thing in common. They have activated their inner power, their inner guidance system. They have taken massive action to heal. Of course it doesn’t always lead to healing in the way we understand it. Some people heal their hearts but lose their bodies. There is no rule that says if we do this action we will get this return. Life is mysterious and we really have no idea what is happening. All we can do is love ourselves and the world as much as possible, heal our wounds, our bodies and our minds and leave the rest to God.

That is what I did.

If you are on this journey I apologize for not offering you anything that feels definite but I always hope this gives you cause for optimism and encouragement. The healing journey was the greatest experience of my life. It helped me, no it forced me, to confront myself, let go of old grievances, heal my wounded heart and mind, change addictive patterns and come into the full bloom of my being. I have become very grateful to what happened, and even though it was not something I would have chosen, by embracing the journey and the experience I allowed it to heal through the power of divine intelligence.

Human beings are extraordinary and our capacity far outreaches our current knowledge or belief systems. Stretch your beliefs, stretch your imagination, stretch your actions and sure as heck something will happen.

Four powerful steps I took.

  1. I supported my body in the healing journey. I didn’t suppress symptoms. I navigated them.
  2. I took massive action to learn about my experience and apply my learning.
  3. I healed my toxic thoughts and beliefs through meditations, visualization, therapists and healers.
  4. I developed a deeper trust and resolve and power.
  5. I NEVER gave up.

With great love Kavi

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The Need To Heal Old Wounds

From my personal experience, my research and coaching lots of clients I really have concluded this one simple yet profound truth:

When we deny old emotions and/or present difficult feelings we put an increased stress on our body, on our nervous system, immune system, and important organs like heart and thyroid, and our brain. Whether that actually ’causes’ illness or not is academic, because the bottom line is it really doesn’t help.

My holistic principle is to understand that which puts extra tax and burden on a delicate and finely balanced system (the human organism) is ultimately destructive, and will assist in early degradation of healthy life. As we age it gets harder and harder to bounce back and regenerate. Which means that as we get older we must get wiser and get MORE relaxed and more FREE of old burdens. Old burdens will rigidify us physically, mentally and spiritually unless we consciously release them. They might even kill us.

This point is not as nebulous or subtle as you may think. The river is meant to flow. If it doesn’t flow it stagnates. If it stagnates it becomes toxic and allows disease to happen. It is exactly the same with us. Energy is meant to flow through us. Old emotions and toxic thoughts impede this flow and become somehow ‘trapped’ in our cellular body. The same stagnation can happen. 

Thus detoxification is useful on the physical level AND the emotional energetic level. This proposition might annoy some people and even be dismissed as new age but I have experienced it and see it everywhere, and it is a self evident truth.

In my own healing journey, healing a huge auto immune condition (inflammatory bowel disease) it really wasn’t long in my detoxification process that I was propelled into the fury and powerful world of my pent up, hot, acidic and generally volatile emotions, the ones that I had buried and denied for years and years since the traumatic break up of my parents when I was 16 years old. I held on to the trauma for decades but could never access the pain and therefore never receive any healing. Make no mistake, trauma in the body, just because its not present in everyday experience, is powerful and dangerous. It’s not inert, meaning it doesn’t just sit there in a neutral state doing nothing. 

No, it has a negative power. It influences decisions, it can drive addictions and lifestyle choices. It ramps up stress response into hot stuff like rage or scary stuff like fear and anxiety. It may play a huge part in depression. It creates havoc with the nervous system and immune system, both of which have a DIRECT effect on health. It is known, for example, that stress has a direct impact on the gut micro biome, reducing healthy gut flora and allowing the ‘bad guys’ to gain the upper hand.

I truly believe that my healing had plateaued until I dived into my emotions. And then it catapulted into an increase in healing. It’s not the magic bullet but it is incredibly powerful.

I would go as far as to say you can’t truly heal without it.

If you are on the same journey that took me over 10 years, please listen. Do the emotional stuff. Find a way, find a resource. Follow your instinct for what your body wants, listen to your own inner voice, and get guidance from others who know this territory, and then fully embrace your healing. Even when it is difficult because dragging old stuff up hurts, still press on. It is far better that you meet the pain, and it hurts, and you release it, than you don’t meet it and it kills you.

I wish you love and blessings on your path.

Thanks for reading!

 

Getting ‘Clean’ and How it Changes Your Life

I talk a lot in my sessions (and outside my sessions) about being ‘clean.’ It seems to resonate with people. People actually get what it means, those who have the desire to escape the mess and drama of what they have been used to.

Clean is not strange or even difficult to attain. It is, I guess, profound to the normal, messy, entangled one who hangs on to that way of life, who maybe even secretly loves and desires the attention they get from all the drama.
Some of those people are narcissists, and some are just regular unconscious, but they are all caught up in the same web, sticky and messy and overly dramatic.

I was done with all that. I am clean. That means I don’t lay anything weird on anyone, neither am I available for anyone to stick any weirdness on me. It’s not a defensive or attacking stance. It is neutral, just not playing bullshit dramatic games ever. Clean. Out of the entanglement. Maybe you could call it natural.

We were, most of us, born into the drama, and we got completely sold it, and then we became it. It’s family for most of us. And then it becomes everything in our lives. Politics is drama, many relationships are drama. They all have the same stickiness..It’s horrible. And its not the only way to live, nor the most preferable.

That is why I talk about becoming ‘clean.’ Because by becoming clean, without closing down or shutting everything out, life becomes easier. Shit still happens but it doesn’t stick any more.

It is maturity, growing up, becoming wise. It’s the end of games and the beginning of real life. Sure you might have to say no to a load of things and people. That comes with being clean. But if that is what you really want, that’s what you have to do.

It is very refreshing.

So why does it matter in regard health and wellbeing?

Well this is a good question and very relevant in today’s world. You see, in today’s world the majority of thought still has us living as though everything were separate from everything else. In this world of separation what you think, feel, believe, and how ‘clean’ you are in your energetic body does not matter at all. As far as a lot of science is concerned the two are completely separate.

So I ask you…Do you believe that everything is separate from everything else? I bet you don’t.

Here is my take: EVERYTHING YOU DO, SAY, THINK, FEEL AND BELIEVE has an effect on your wellbeing and/or your illness.

It is all involved and everything casts an influence in direct and indirect ways. If you have complicated, sticky, even messy and manipulative relationships that keep you stuck and cause you stress, you are going to feel it in your body, its going to influence things like eating habits, addictive patterns, energy levels and sleeping patterns. It is going to impact your nervous system and your immune system. Period.

Being ‘clean,’ gives you breathing space, a sense of freedom and lightness. It allows your aura to grow, and you can stop some of the activity that requires so much energy. It takes great energy to play games and defend and attack. The bottom line is where are you going to place your energy and attention?

So I am a total advocate for getting ‘clean.’ It has worked so well for me I cannot begin to tel you. My clients benefit from my being clean and they begin to feel it in their own lives, and that affects the people around them. And so it becomes effortless.

Try it, contemplate this. Get back to me if you don’t know what I’m talking about, or ask anything.

EGO – PROTECTOR AND USURPER.

EGO – PROTECTOR AND USURPER.

It has your best interests at heart and seeks to protect you from DANGER!
It has been your closest ally from the beginning. At first it was your main supporter but slowly slowly it became deeply embedded.
In its mission to look after you at all costs it steals way too much power and becomes addicted to its influence.
It usurps your attention until it runs the show.

Most people don’t even know its there. But you do. 

By this stage it really doesn’t matter whether you are happy, miserable, successful, a murderer or a politician. It’s not the end result, or the attainment, that matters. It is the addictive mechanism of mind, the ‘pain body’ that matters. As long as that is constantly alive and being fed, nothing else is important. You may think it is, but underneath your stories is the ego protector and usurper going about their business, hidden and obsessed.

Waking Up’ is seeing the mechanism and, either suddenly or gradually, reducing its power and influence to that of a kitten, rather than an out of control maniac.
Just seeing it over and over and over again, and giving it no more power than you would a dream, thats how it dissolves.

You don’t kill it. I wouldn’t engage with it on that level of battle, you are sure to lose. Just seeing it and recognizing it as a protector and usurper is enough. Withdrawing your energy from it until it succumbs and becomes a servant rather than tyrant.
And then you do that over and over again.

And then the world tests you. Because the world is you.
And it will test you in your intimate relationship, your family, kids, your work, driving your car, running errands, being creative, getting sick, dying, everywhere you go it will come with you, constantly showing you the mechanism and inviting you to withdraw power from your own mind.

It is a crazy journey, and you fail over and over.
But what you do when you fail is what matters.

Try it, try it today for the rest of the day.

See where you get pulled into your story, into your righteousness, into judgement, into self negating thoughts and beliefs, into this emphatic being right or wrong, into driving rage, into impatience, into depression and anxiety, into argument. It’s there. It’s always there. It’s your job to see it there and be honest, and disengage its power through the simple act of awareness. That’s all waking up is, the simple act of awareness. Simple yet utterly profound.

Let me know how you get on.

Breathing Under Water, Embracing Difficult Emotions – New Podcast

I am delighted to say my Holistic Podcasts are back!
This one is, I believe, one of my best and most useful to date.
I am covering deep ground here, and I just know it is valuable, whatever your state of health, illness, or mental and emotional situation. 

WE ARE IN SUCH STRESSFUL AND CONFUSING TIMES.

It is easy to get lost in this world. What is true and what is false?
What to believe in?
Everything is mixed up and here is the thing.

The man, or woman, who does not know themselves and live by holistic principles in every day life, is extremely vulnerable to being swept up in the drama, prone to addictions and dysfunctional lifestyle choices.”

We simply have to dive in deep so we can rise high.

Inner mastery creates change, not disembodied theoretical spirituality.
Spirituality is only worthwhile when it is lived in the body. And that journey brings it into everyday reality, which in turn makes it very powerful.
When it is lived.
Holistic Intelligence is not optional in our world. It is a necessity to Transform Society. It IS essential for evolution.
Holism is the practical arm of non duality.

In this podcast I return to discussing the body, emotions, mind and spirit. This is a passionate call to wake up and take responsibility for your inner mastery NOW!

I look around, and have done now in each country I have been to, and I see the same thing everywhere. ‘Normal’ life IS deeply unconscious. I am sorry to say this but its the truth. Most people do not have much awareness of who they are or what they are doing or what is going on. It is disturbing. Don’t let it happen to you.”

Thats what my podcasts are all about.
Here it is on Soundcloud.

And here is the link to iTunes.

Thanks for reading!

How Well Do You Know Your Body?

How Well Do You Know Your Body?

It may seem like an obvious, even stupid, question, but in my experience working with people it is actually a very revealing and provocative one. So let me make some bold statements:

I don’t think a lot of people actually DO know their own bodies very well at all. They think they do but actually they are not very tuned in to what their own body is saying, what messages it is sending, or the bio feedback relationship happening all the time between mind and body.

I also think people are very cut off from their intuition, and intuition itself is located in the gut.

We are living in fast paced, toxic, mind dominated societies that favour caffeine, distraction and urgency, and not relaxation, body centred, natural and harmonious lifestyles.

The amount of addiction, disorder, illness, depression etc etc is a sign that ‘we’ are out of alignment with our selves, and that must also mean with our bodies.

And here is the clincher: A humanity that is out of touch with its own body is undoubtedly going to be out of touch with the earth, because they are one and the same thing.

I see this as a big problem for us all in the west. We just don’t know any more what its like to be in touch. And I certainly don’t just mean men, who have a greater tendency to be cut off from their feelings anyway. I mean all people, all walks of life, all social strata. Everyone. And now we are all disappearing down the rabbit hole of our phones it’s only going to make us more disconnected.

Now here I want to say two things.

  1. Its not a great idea to get too attached to your body, or get too lost in it. Firstly its only a temporary vehicle and its going to go the way of all temporary things and you are going to die.
  2. If you get too lost in it you will become over identified with it and thats going to lead you towards addiction in some way that is not going to make you happy.

The body is, in many ways, a dilemma for us humans. Animals have it much easier than we do. They accept the body they get, they instinctively feed it just enough food to survive and thrive and they don’t get too neurotic over how it looks. They are, by their very nature, body centred. It is all entirely natural.

But we have a choice. And we have an ego that wraps itself around how the body looks and feels. This awareness we have, one of our gifts as conscious beings, is a handicap to easy living when it is affected by damaged conditioning and self worth issues.

So lets cut to the chase of how to go about this relationship.

Firstly, you get to know your own body when you find out who you really are. The body is included in a deep spiritual inquiry. 

The body holds old wounds and traumas. It will hold them forever unless you consciously decide to release them. If you decide to release them you will probably have to find a modality that assists this process. That can be anything from rebirthing to massage, maybe yoga, or dance, or any specific technique that aims to unblock the stuck energy flow in the body. This automatically takes you deeper into your body.

Attending to diet and health, doing some detoxification and cleaning out colon and liver, will help to balance the body mind system and bring you naturally more aligned.

Meditation and getting into nature, watching sunset and sunrise, sitting next to the sea or bids a roaring fire, all help to bring you back into relationship with your own essence, and that means your own body.

Listenting to your body, paying it attention, intuiting it, talking to it, loving it, nurturing it, these are key elements to develop with your body. It will pay great dividends and soften up the whole of you.

The bottom line is: Include your own body in the love you have for things. Don’t exclude your body. Love it with all your heart even though it is not yours and will one day turn to dust. Just love it anyway, with a care and a joy and a freedom that makes it sing and dance and flow.

Thanks for reading!

Help me return to this

Social Media Addiction Faced – Detox The Only Answer

My eyes have fully opened recently to the extent of addiction in myself and society generally. Of course addiction is a problem for most societies, but usually the addiction only holds a small minority captive. This time, however, it appears to have the majority of society held by the addictive mechanism and pretty much completely unaware of.

What is it? Yup, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram – It’s called Social Media only it’s not very social.

check-facebookIt’s a revolution folks, a revolution of the way we react and interact. In the last 10 years the way we do EVERYTHING has changed fundamentally, and that means we have had no real time to adjust either mentally or, more to the point, emotionally. The tsunami of social media interaction has begun to define our lives. And short of a total meltdown of the internet or a collapse of society, the tsunami has only just begun.

Statistics reveal that cell phone use and web use generally increased enormously from 2014. Check this to see what Im talking about!
http://www.internetlivestats.com/watch/internet-users/

Some statistics: Around 40% of the world population has an internet connection today. In 1995, it was less than 1%.
The number of internet users has increased tenfold from 1999 to 2013.
The first billion was reached in 2005. The second billion in 2010. The third billion in 2014.

facebook-addictBut the statistics are one thing. The anecdotal, visual evidence, is more distressing and alarming.

Look around at your friends, your kids, maybe even your parents, look in the malls, or on public transport, and then take a deep and honest look inside yourself and see if you are really any different from any of them. ADDICTION IS NOT ON AND OFF. It’s not a switch that is either up, meaning not addicted, or down, meaning addicted. Oh no. Addiction is all about degrees and measures. Addiction is wrapped up with necessity and habit, with social conditioning and deeply held human issues rooted in our ancestral dna, and stuff about the herd mentality and ancient tribal behaviour demanded by sheer survival.

Check whether this list includes anything you do.
http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/facebook-addiction-signs/

Almost everyone is addicted to something, even if its just in some small way. It may be subtle, or it may be all consuming, but its there. It may not interfere with healthy functioning, but its there, and its something that pulls at us if we don’t do it habitually. It may not be that destructive to our life, well being, relationships, work and so on but there it is.

WISDOM AND ADDICTION ARE LIKE OIL AND WATER.

I think the sooner we recognise that addictive impulse in ourselves and where it lives, in what dark corner it hides, and, most importantly, what purpose is it serving, the more we can understand ourselves and transcend the torment of our addictions. Because the nature of addiction is unconscious and denied. And it ALWAYS serves a purpose, always it offers us the carrot of salvation from our suffering. It always offers us love. But addiction itself is a highly powerful force. Even more than the object of ones addiction is the ADDICTION. It is a mechanism, a highly powerful shadowy mechanism that thrives on darkness and fear.

Because addiction is so closely linked to our basic existential nature it is intertwined with the two base forces of love and fear.

Maybe addiction is the unconscious human answer to separation syndrome. Thats why addiction is essentially a spiritual phenomena.

The answer to addiction is waking up to the truth of who you are. The answer to all addiction is love and inner authority. To overcome addiction, as well as the physical component, one must fall in love with oneself, show up, tell the truth, see where you hide from fear and what you are afraid of, and then chose to love yourself. The answer to addiction is love and connection, but that connection is to yourself and the world.

POWER.

Anything less than your full power released into the world could result in the activation of this addiction mechanism. It may protect you for a while. But it will eat you in the end. It is voracious and hungry.

So let us return to the issue in hand. The modern cultural acceptable addiction. Social media.
Head down, buried in the screen, totally distracted, emotionally dependent on ‘likes’, comments, notifications, increasing friends lists, etc etc we disappear from awareness and presence into the world of the mind through the screen and down the rabbit hole.

We check our phones at least 150 times a day, many of us, so I worked out that on average that means every 6 minutes or so. And it is increasing.

If it affects you, if you keep checking your phone, inbox, social media, even when there is no real reason, then I’m afraid you are in the modern matrix. And the matrix has you.

I know because I have been in the matrix also. I was completely convinced I was acting from real freedom and just exercising my freedoms and really enjoying all my friends and contacts and likes etc. But the truth was that the walls of my prison had changed and got smaller. They built the prison around me while I was distracted by content.

BOILING THE FROG.
6a00d8341c3e6353ef00e551d211f38834-800wiMany of us have been led, innocently, to the pot on the stove and have been boiled, so slowly we have not noticed. These giant social media corporations hire well qualified, highly professional psychologists and marketers to investigate you and me and to work out how to get us to do what they want, willingly and blindly, as though we were free.

They know your habits, your preferences, your likes, dislikes they know how long you do something and they know what you don’t like. Between your phone stats, your Facebook analytics, google and amazon they know you better than you know yourself. You have an online profile that informs social media and they promote and market to accordingly. They feed you what you want, even if you don’t know what you want.

It is that scary. And you don’t even realise, because they have offset their activities with your rewards. Those rewards are (the illusion of) connection, being liked, importance, information, and power.

Don’t buy any of it because its not real.

I quit Facebook and Twitter very recently and I am feeling the effects of the withdrawal. Some parts of life have been rendered meaningless.  Where is the instant gratification of a new like? Where is the surfing new posts to give me some distraction? Where is the relief I get every day, relief from the truth of my own life?

Gone…Facebook shut down and Twitter deactivated. It feels powerful, detoxing and vulnerable….Do it…try it out, inquire, investigate, tell the truth.
And comment here…Its the only place you will find me..

The Matrix has you…..and at some point you have to make a decision..
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