What Place Does HOPE Have in Healing

We can live with hope, and avoid despair, if we learn to surrender our attachment to what we think our health outcome should be, and instead be present to the healing journey as it unfolds  –  Joanna Garritano

I had a long conversation about health with someone yesterday. He had health issues and I told him of my journey, the short version, but it did include the bit about my diagnosis results and the prognosis handed to me by the consultant in a London Hospital. I go into detail about this encounter in my book http://a.co/duWS3Lu but suffice to say it was a pivotal moment in my journey.

For your benefit, this is a short description. The consultant was aloof and, dare I say it, arrogant. That was my feeling, subjectively of course. He sat in front of me and said 3 things.
1. What you have (Inflammatory Bowel Disease) is incurable.
2. You will be on medication for life.
3. You may well have to have some, or all, of your colon removed.

When I questioned him he added a 4th blow.

4. There was nothing you can do, no diet would help, no natural medicine would work, nothing.

Honestly, it makes my blood boil right now just thinking about it.

It makes my blood boil because he was WRONG, and because many people who are not as feisty, rebellious, or informed, as I am (and was even then), may well believe him, throw themselves into his hands and GIVE UP ALL HOPE.

That makes me furious.  Because I seriously don’t believe it to be true. And I am living proof of it.

12 years since that diagnosis and prognosis and I never took ANY medication for it. I have NO SYMPTOMS of IBD at all, no ulcerations, no blood, no mucus, and when I’m tested there are no signs of inflammation. So, as we like to say these days.


Sorry to be dramatic and animated but I think you can understand how it feels to me.

I could have had my colon removed, for no good reason. I could have started taking steroids, anti inflammatories etc etc and been dependent on them for the rest of my life..And so on. It could have been the end of me. As it turns out it was actually the beginning of a long and deeply transformative journey.

When I reflected on this experience I realized why I was so angry. Because what was at stake here was HOPE.

Hope is a fundamental part of healing. Its not some by-product, some throwaway part of the human condition. It is an integral part of us.

I don’t think you can heal without hope. Hope creates an energy that drives or pulls us forward. If you take hope away you don’t, in the case of illness, create acceptance, you create resignation and despair. You cannot heal or transform if resignation or despair are the dominant energies in your system. We are not mechanical robots, we are subtle, complex, mysterious life forms that have unique and powerful abilities to change things simply through the power of our beliefs, our attention, and our consciousness itself. 

We are not mechanical robots, we are subtle, complex, mysterious life forms that have unique and powerful abilities to change things simply through the power of our beliefs, our attention, and our consciousness itself. 

Whatever positive feelings and emotions you can muster in the face of illness are welcome. Be they joy, laughter, hope, love, or peace, they all help by flooding the body with helpful and healing hormones that uplift the whole organism and give it life force.

Conversely whatever negative feelings or emotions flood the body, the opposite may well happen. they depress and downgrade us. They slow things down, they deflate us and allow for negativity to flood the body.

If you sit for a moment and consider this, feel the energy of joy, love and laughter and how they FEEL in your body, and then you consciously consider despair or resignation and how it feels in the body you would have to agree with me. They are very different. So hope is  a valuable part of the healing process. 

BUT BE CAUTIOUS. Remember the words at the start of this blog.

“We can live with hope, and avoid despair, if we learn to surrender our attachment to what we think our health outcome should be, and instead be present to the healing journey as it unfolds.”

Surrendering attachment to the way we THINK it should look, or the way we want it to look, is so important. I really got this key point somewhere down the path. I actually had a profound moment  during a very dark period when I fell into despair. I was tormented and suffering physically, I had no idea what was going to happen and I was at the end of my tether. I walked into some local woods by myself and lay down among the leaves and fell into what felt like a deep well. I desperately wanted an end to my suffering, mainly from my emotional and mental suffering.

I then found myself speaking to God…whatever that means..And I said, “God, I no longer care whether you take my physical body or not, I hand that over to you, but I want love in my heart, and I want an end to my trauma, to my anger and to my emotional pain. I want some peace.”

It was as though I had realized that, although ultimately I had no power over whether my physical body would heal or not, I DID have power to decide whether to let go of my emotional baggage once and for all, willingly.

And something happened that day, and it has always been with me. What happened was, by just being willing to die but keeping my heart open, I surrendered attachment to outcome. That’s the quote at the top of this blog. To live with hope but surrender attachment to the outcome we think we want. I did that, and it created FREEDOM for me. It released so much healing energy in me it really contributed to my long term recovery and subsequent health.

The truth is, when we get ill, or even when we don’t get ill, we don’t know whether we will live longer or shorter time, or whether we will recover or not. But we can fix our broken hearts, our resentments and grievances, and we can do that now, and now and now. 

Hope, in this context, is a beautiful energy, a powerful energy, and thus a healing one.

If anyone tries to steal your hope away and can’t replace it with something better, turn away and run. Don’t believe them. While you are alive there is some hope.
When its chronic illness and not acute, there is hope.
When you, or they, don’t really know what it is, there is hope.
Act on that hope without fixed attachment to how it should look, and bring all your vibrant intelligence, wisdom and power to take whatever action ‘feels’ right.

Choose ‘hope without attachment,’ over ‘resignation without any power.’

Thanks for reading!




Dig Deep on the Mysterious Path of Healing

If you have chosen the path of natural healing, for whatever reason, and you have found yourself stumbling in the dark, getting lost, going up blind alleys, being scared, or being disappointed, thinking you have found an answer only to be foiled, I have some news for that will challenge you and support you.

That is how it is, both in healing the body AND in transformation. 

Welcome to the mysterious world, the real world, the natural world. I know its frustrating and confusing and I know most of us want our answers to be straightforward and logical, because thats the world we have grown up in, but you are entering a different world now, and it doesn’t work the same.

Science, society, doctors, the whole shebang, would have us all believe its all scientific and even superficial. We so desperately want life to be straightforward. But here is the thing.

The basic model upon which all this thinking is based, IS A FLAWED WORLD VIEW. Yup. It is, sadly, a world view that has divorced itself from the natural movement of life, from nature itself. And I am delighted and sorry to tell them (and you) that the human being is still NATURAL. whether we like it or not. 

We have been heavily socialized, and industrialized and modernized, for only the last 100-200 years. For the previous thousands, even millions, of years, we have had to adapt to nature. Add to that truth the fact that we are highly complex beings who have emotions, hormones that relate to emotions, immune systems that relate to our thoughts and feelings, and nervous systems that are super conductor highways of vast intelligence, AND we have a profound spiritual side that connects us to the divine, and you have a seriously deep and complex person!

So cut yourself some slack and start digging. Dig deep, deep, deep. Dig into the roots of who you are, where you come from, what you have inherited and your entire belief system. Find out where you turned away from love because of fear, when you were young, and heal that wound. Search for all your old grievances and vengeance and commit yourself to releasing yourself from the prison. You wont heal or transform until you let go and really love yourself fully.

You have to dig to heal. When the tree is suffering, you can try and fix the branches, the leaves, or even the trunk, but you probably wont see much difference. But if you attend to the roots and get them nourished and flowing, pretty soon the leaves, the trunk, and the branches are going to grow strong and healthy. Whats the difference between us and the tree?

Nothing, except our beliefs systems. It is our belief systems that stand in our way. Don’t be a victim of a belief system that doesn’t serve you. Find one that serves you, or better still, go so deep into consciousness that you transcend belief systems altogether, and then you are free to play and dance and feel love and joy.

The one who has transcended his own belief system is free, and at peace with himself and the world.


Auto Immune 101…WHY are you sick, not what disease do you have?

I am going to lay it out very clearly for anyone who has symptoms that indicate something is going on inside them that is not right.
diagnosis_post2If you, or anyone else, has had the diagnosis of the dreaded ‘auto immune disease,’ please read this simple blog. I am writing it to simplify what sounds very mysterious.
We are rendered powerless by this very phrase ‘auto immune disease.’ I know I was many years ago. And not just because I had no idea what it actually meant but also because the doctors seemed mystified and ineffective at actually treating it.



Now I am not a doctor so cannot argue on the level of ‘doctor speak’ so I will have to keep this basic and human. If your immune system is overactive and attacking itself, it is doing it for a reason. That is just basic common sense. Everything in life, everything, happens for a reason. It is the law of cause and effect. Things don’t happen without a cause, there cannot be just effect, it is impossible.

So if your immune system was ok at some point earlier in your life, and now is reacting in what seems to be an attacking way, something has provoked it. Something has caused, and is causing, your immune system to overdo it.

Any intelligent researcher, investigator or detective would ask the million dollar question, ‘What is causing it?’

Without knowing what is actually causing it, how can you really treat it effectively. If you have an infestation of termites and you just stand there killing the termites one at a time hoping the infestation will stop it’s never going to work. You need to find the termite nest. You need to get to the source and deal with the problem.

autoimmuneIt is basic Auto Immune 101. Search for the cause. Treat the cause. Symptoms disappear.

But the medical system with all it’s genius, science, sophistication and complexity cannot and does not do this.
Now, sometimes action has to be taken urgently because someone is in danger due to the ravaging effects of their symptoms. If the forest fire is tearing through the town it has to be stopped in its tracks. And medically speaking sometimes that might involve immunosuppressants and steroids, or strong herbs and so on. But these treatments are not the long term solution. They cannot be because they are not resolving the core issue of what is causing the fire to start!

Always we come back to the same point. Buy time if you must with medication and intervention (I personally didn’t, I just hung on in there while the acute phase was happening, and committed to detoxification) but for heavens sake get wise and find the cause of your issue.


OK I have just saved you days, weeks or months of research.

Yes, these two things are probably the two causal factors in your auto immune condition. Your job is to explore deeper and answer the questions, ‘What is causing the chronic inflammation and gut dysbiosis and how do I treat it effectively and as naturally as possible?

It could be a number of things, from virus to pathogens, toxins, environmental poisons, mould, trigger foods, vaccines etc etc. All these things, and more, can cause can be the precursor to a chronic inflammatory response in the body.

intestineAnd since the seat of the immune system is held in the delicate balance and harmony and integrity of the gut, it is clearly obvious that integrity, balance of bacteria and microbes, restoration of gut wall, elimination of candida, parasites etc must happen for the immune system to ‘calm down.’

These two areas alone, tested for, researched, and acted upon with intention and purpose, may well have such a profound effect on your ‘symptoms and dis-ease’ that it disappears, and relatively quickly. Of course it depends how deeply embedded it is in the body and how much destruction has already happened.

It also depends on your mental and emotional state and stress levels.
What I am offering you here is a starting point above and beyond what your doctor might be offering you. Inflammation is excellent when it is acute and disastrous when it is chronic. Remember that one truth and it will carry you a long way. Gut dysbiosis is absolutely definitely totally going to have to be dealt with if you are sick, or just feeling crap, or have low energy, headaches, allergies, or if you have taken medication, particularly antibiotics. 

It may be frustrating, and sometimes my words will echo as too simplistic, but I promise you there is a way through. It will take some time to reveal why it is happening but once found you then have your starting point for the adventure of your lifetime, the healing path.
And with great persistence and dedication, with help from professionals who understand what I am saying, health and wellbeing should rise, and may be better than ever. It is never guaranteed in this life, but what is there to lose!

But your doctor will not tell you any of this.






Strangely Coincidental Spontaneous Remission – Or Actual Healing?

In recent years I have dropped much of the anger at doctors I used to carry. It wasn’t healthy and there was probably a lot of projection involved. I also started to see deeper into the whole medical, science based paradigm, saw its huge benefits to mankind, and also saw how we are all trapped by something. So I became more understanding of the position doctors are in and how they are dictated to by the system that educated and trained them. I saw the bigger picture and stopped focusing so much on individuals. 
It is the system that is the problem, not the individuals.

BUT. There is something that gets my goat, as the saying goes. And that is arrogance and dismissiveness. I don’t like it in any walk of life, on Facebook, in the bar, in the bank, politics or anywhere. But when it is in the area of health it stirs me up and brings out the radical feisty rebel in me, and I have tendency to rise up and speak my mind.

I have just been reminded of this after reading an article by Dr Mark Hyman about healing auto immune conditions.
He talked of being in a group discussion with a conventional doctor, a rheumatologist, and one of his patients who was cured of a complex autoimmune disease by addressing the causes.

What he said was this, and I quote, ‘When my patient described how he cured his autoimmune disease by finding and eliminating the causes of inflammation in his diet and environment, it was dismissed as a “spontaneous remission.” In the face of a paradigm-shattering medical case, these doctors were hardly curious and quickly dismissive, describing what was shared as anecdotal.’

That makes me pretty mad I have to say, for many reasons. One of them is because they are talking about me! If you read yesterday’s blog, and I urge you to do so, you will read that I talk about healing my IBD completely.

So what I am reading is these ‘professionals’ dismiss my healing as ‘spontaneous remission,’ and any proof as anecdotal.
The remark that Dr Hyman makes that sends my blood pressure rocketing (only joking, I am too caring for my health to let that happen!)is this ‘these doctors were hardly curious and quickly dismissive.’

I have experienced this, as you may well have, and it is infuriating and offensive. It is the height of arrogance, and arrogance is the height of ignorance, and needs to be held to account.

article-1099566-0285039E000005DC-878_468x327When they don’t want to know it is maddening.

The only way to deal with this is to
a. meet it head on and face the doctor with his, or her, own arrogance, with your indignation and contempt.
b. Then find another doctor.

They are not all like this, I am glad to say. When I have had this kind of attitude I simple cannot stay with the doctor long.

Arrogance is an unpleasant syndrome unworthy of doctors. They need to know there is a world outside their paradigm, and it actually heals people. Western medicine is the new kid on the block, Chinese and Ayurvedic medicine have been around for at least 4000 years! 

And to actually use the term ‘spontaneous remission,’ is very disarming. It clearly suggests that nothing the patient has done, or not done, all the lifestyle changes they have made, have in no way contributed to this ‘remission,’ because it was just ‘spontaneous.’  It happened by itself for totally unknown reasons. It didn’t happen before though, it happened at EXACTLY THE SAME TIME as the patient made serious lifestyle changes and pursued healing the root cause of they dis-ease.’
Maybe the term should be ‘strangely coincidental spontaneous remission.’

Sometimes science is an ass. Without nature, without humanity, without consideration of the mystery of life, science is a dry box, defensive and arrogant. And even though, as I say again, it is incredible at what it does, there is no denying that, healing chronic disease (and I don’t mean suppressing symptoms) is not something it is good at.

And it will be left behind as a healing modality, unless it climbs down from its pedestal and becomes considerate and compassionate and available.

We could have the best of all worlds if the systems worked together. Divided is old paradigm. Collaboration is the new way. And that collaboration will have to involve a healthy respect for others.

And what it means with regard to your health is that you step up and take responsibility for your health, you speak your truth and only work with health practitioners who respect your choices, decisions and your healing. The system will change when we demand it changes.

My rant is over.

Thanks for reading!

Sleuthing Your Symptoms – Becoming Sherlock Holmes of Your Body

It has taken me at least a month. In fact in total it’s taken maybe a year and a half of mystery, and I think my wife and I have finally solved the riddle of my weird health symptoms and non specific suffering.

Mercury poisoning!

Damn it.

In Costa Rica in January of last year we both had mercury amalgams removed in what I can only describe, in hindsight, as a ‘backstreet dentist.’ Amoda is ok, but I have definitely suffered since that time. But for a whole lot of reasons we haven’t really pinned my health issues directly onto that experience.
Last night our sleuthing research landed firmly and squarely on a website that detailed all the possible effects of mercury poisoning, and although some of the damage is unbelievable for many people (not me thankfully), ALL of my symptoms fitted perfectly. That was a first. With previous attempts at finding the cause there was always some anomaly and some doubt. But not with this.
From my unexpected spike in bad cholesterol for no reason, to skin rash, to fatigue, brain fog, poor wound healing, cold body, swelling, everything just pointed in one direction. Mercury.

And that is the main reason I’m writing this short blog today. It’s not just about the relief in finding an answer to my searching.
ingredientdetectivebIt’s about the need to become your own Health Sherlock Holmes and approach your symptoms methodically, scientifically and intuitively, and never stop until you feel ok about letting it go OR you find something that feels absolutely right. You have to rest in knowing or not knowing. constant doubt is insidious and wears down the mind and the body, causes adrenal stress and leaves a big hole in the psyche.

The body is intelligent. It is responsive and acting intelligently. It follows certain pathways and has it’s own logical process. But we still don’t know many of these processes. Our danger is that, because we don’t know the ‘mind of the body’ well enough, we are always in danger of intervening too early and ‘hijacking’ that process.

Sometimes it’s necessary to do that. Often it is not helpful for healing.

There is a well known phrase that floats around the ‘health internet’ that says something like ‘the trouble with toxic medications is you then have to heal from the medication AND the cause of the symptoms.’ Modern medicine doesn’t take that into account at all.

It’s a kind of ‘sweep it under the carpet’ technology. Yeah sure, it works in emergency, and I myself took antibiotic cream and antihistamines. But I know that when I have finished the treatment I have to go back and repopulate my gut bacteria, detox my system and build health consciously with supplements and real food.

The more we HELP the body’s intelligence and don’t suppress it, the better we heal. That is my theory after all these years.

And that really means a revolution in patient centrality needs to happen. The patient, you and me, have to become central to the healing, health and illness process, not as the ‘patient’ but as the director of health. It’s called ‘taking full responsibility’ for your life, health and illness.

It still means you will probably consult professional help. But you wont put your intelligence and critical judgement in somebody else’s hands unless you absolutely know they can be trusted with it.

Doctor will be one modality of many. This current system of ‘doctor as health god’ is at an end, and move on we must. Doctor has his/her place, and sometimes chemical medication is the only option. But thats all it should be, AN OPTION.

At your disposal you can have, a functional doctor, a naturopath, a Chinese doctor, an Ayurvedic doctor, specific and affordable testing, a detox specialist, a massage therapist, a healer, rebirther, and your source of research, Google.

Imagine having all those at your fingertips, so if you do get symptoms you can decide who to consult, and you do that because you are already informed by your research on Google. And do not doubt the power of Google to help you discover the cause of your issues. Here is some starting news.

Is-Google-Searching-for-the-Next-Big-Thing1Your doctor uses Google all the time!

There is nothing wrong with exploring and researching your symptoms on Google, and do not let your doctor tell you otherwise. Being central to your own health is called Patient Power. You want that. Your doctor may not want an informed and intelligent patient. To your doctor you mean trouble. So they call you neurotic and demean your inquiries. DO NOT LET THEM. There is a big change coming in the world of health, and patient power is going to be central to it. The trick is to get real smart about how you interact with your doctor.

Make sure they know that you are not a fool and you only want answers, and you prefer natural health, and you want to know the root cause of your issues. Ask them to help you with that. If they are super resistant you may have to change doctors.

It is high time doctors started to change the way they relate to the patient. And that will happen when we change how we relate to them. Remember, you have options, and some of them are so much better than your doctor. Many already treat patients with dignity and openness, but this needs to become the norm, not the exception.

So there you are, thats my blog for today. I hope it encourages you on your journey. For me, I now have something definite to attend to, and can drill down into making sure any mercury is removed from my body, and creating better health and stronger immune system and nervous system.

And be careful where you have your mercury amalgams removed. We were assured by this guy in Costa Rica, who had quite impressive equipment and talked a good removal, that we would be safe. But it would appear there is no safe when it comes to mercury. There are thousands of tales of the after effects of removal for some time, sometimes years. Why oh why did we ever decide to put bloody mercury in our mouths!!!!! I mean, who had that bright idea? Because it was not one of the most intelligent ones I’m sorry to say.

Thanks for reading, stay well, do your research. Drop me a comment, like my blog, share it with someone who is a bit lost, and get empowered. There is a revolution happening and you can be at the forefront of it by simply deciding to be your own health advocate from now on…Good luck..

Love and Good Health


cowboy 2 copy



A People’s Revolution of Health

There is an interesting dilemma at work with regards the body that reveals itself when we get ‘ill.’
The simple dilemma points us to an assumption that pervades our modern westernised societies and, to me, is a glaring elephant in the room issue that each of us needs to consider, particularly when we are considering treatment for our issue. Further from that, at some point in a more enlightened future, this assumption that we live by will be viewed as almost primitive by those with wisdom and eyes to see.

OK have I got some interest?

Here is the dilemma. It is very hard to heal the body when we see it as a problem.

We live in a problem system. Everything around us, in all areas of life, that do not comply with the very human rules we have created, is a problem. And our method of dealing with problems is generally to eliminate them, declare war on them and over power them.

Nature’s law is exquisitely intelligent, unfixed, organic, and seeking to resolve itself into holism. Of course it has problems and things mess up, but always the natural intelligence mechanism is at work. Nature is imbued with what we call holism. It is all about the whole organism, the whole system.
But we have become alienated from this very core understanding of life. We got carried away with science and lost the benefits of nature’s intelligence. We decided we knew better than nature. And it shows. It shows whenever you go to the doctor with anything chronic, with anything mysterious, with anything that is not acute.

The medical system is rooted in suppression.
Nature is rooted in allowing.

And there you have it. The medical system with it’s emphasis on left brain, scientific, rational thinking has so taken over the minds and hearts of practitioners and public alike that we are blind to the possibilities of aligning ourselves with the body intelligence. It is a systemic delusion. I am not against it at all. I am against it’s utter domination of health and its ability to treat even when it doesn’t know whats wrong!

Yes, the medical system is in a corner. All it can do is play the short game and keep on suppressing symptoms, like plugging the dam wall when the water is flowing over the top. It can, of course, keep on creating more diseases for their drugs, and keep on scientifically researching for ‘cures’ but its not very useful to the man in the street when he has a simple problem but they just can’t understand why it is happening or how to actually HEAL it.

But they are very good at eradicating symptoms. A system that focuses on eradicating symptoms and not supporting the healing mechanism of the body’s inner intelligence is a reflection of the prevailing consciousness it resides in. The medical system with its emphasis on suppression and short term fix reflects those values in our society. The prevailing mortal of society is suppression of nature, denial of natural intelligence and an almost total disconnect from the very nature that it is!!
Imagine, you are born with a body, and a body is the only way you can experience life, and you trash that body and think of it as worthless and disposable.

Right now in our world we have the same respect for our own bodies as we do for the body we live on, earth. They are reflections of one another, and reveal our utter ignorance and infantile obsession with ourselves. We are being killed by the very ego self that is intended to serve us. Servant became master and life became a Shakespearian tale of trickery, deceit and murder.

And the problem becomes each one of ours when we have even considered this thing called healing. If you think you can have a desire to heal whatever you may be suffering from, and if you imagine you will be supported to explore causes to get to the root of it, you are going to be very disappointed. When you go into the doctors with anything other than acute, genetic, obvious problems, and you carry a thought of healing, you are the embodiment of a clash of cultures and a rift in the fabric of society. You become the rebellious one, the outsider and the renegade. The two systems, it would appear, cannot go exist. Of course they can, but the need for left brain, corporate arrogance to dominate the market means that right brain, natural intelligence, supporting the body to heal is marginalised more and more until it is wiped out altogether.
It doesn’t matter that holistic based medicine works. It only matters that it gets in the way of business and belief. It is at the opposite end of the continuum because it is a threat. It gets results where conventional medicine cannot do anything. It heals some chronic conditions that people have suffered from for years under conventional medicine. It is a danger to the corporate pocket and the entire precarious belief system it is founded on.

It will have to change. This is my view. It cannot sustain itself as a system because it has nowhere to go, and eventually a mass of people will get fed up and turn away from the ‘problem – solution’ system. It will take time and there must be a ground swell of ‘alternative’ people who lead the way. But people are frustrated. I have sat in waiting rooms recently with very ordinary folk, and I can see the frustration in their eyes at being endlessly caught in the prescription trap with nothing actually getting better.

I honestly believe that the medical system is a great mirror for our world. I see the medical world as the epitome of the matrix. I see doctors, consultants and psychiatrists as the custodians of the matrix, the arbiters of what is accepted and normal. Really, I do. Go to any medical surgery in any town on any day of the week. Go to the NHS hospitals full of powerless, confused and sick people (not all! I’m not trying to be rude here, I’m making a point) and just feel how much power the doctor has. They have all the power, but they don’t have the healing tools! Doctors have the power of life or death, but they are dealing with an incomplete deck of cards. They don’t have all the knowledge, they are currently disregarding profound knowledge from other modalities.
Yet they pretend that they are the font of all knowledge.

How did conventional medicine become this monster that seeks to dominate? Surely in essence conventional medicine is a ‘modality,’ like other modalities of ayurveda, chinese medicine, crystal healing, reiki, homeopathy etc etc.

Surely intelligent human beings would pick the right option for the right treatment, and include all possibilities instead of just one, that often does not work?

It is nonsensical and defies any wisdom.

Conventional Medicine is the real quackery.

Yes, I said it. I am beginning to believe more and more that much of modern medicine, certainly when it ends up at the grass roots level, in NHS waiting rooms and health care practice, that actually its a lot of smoke and mirrors, meaning deception. It looks sophisticated and genuine, but when you scratch below the surface its empty of any real holistic understanding and/or results.
For example, yesterday I went to the hospital and waited for 5 hours to see a doctor about my current skin rash. After giving it a good look, observing my blood test results, he pronounced that he didn’t know what it was but it seemed to be seborrhoeic dermatitis?

All that means is a description of what is happening. Its not an explanation of anything!

Dermatitis’ is a red, itchy, flaky (inflamed) skin complaint; ‘seborrhoeic’ means that the rash affects greasy (sebaceous) skin zones such as the face, scalp and centre of the chest.
So the phrase says, in effect, ‘You have a rash.’
Yeah so?
Why is it there? We don’t know.
What causes it? We don’t know.
What to do about it? We don’t know.

I have noticed this before with so called ‘diseases.’
Ulcerative Colitis sounds very technical but its not. It is means inflammation of the colon, with tendency to ulcers.
Hashimoto’s disease is just the name of the guy who ‘discovered’ it.

What I am saying is that they blind us with science. They are VERY GOOD at describing things. They painstakingly describe a problem but sadly lack any follow through of how to heal it.
And millions of people are duped by this each day.

I say all this completely knowing that many will disagree, and  may want to tell me of all the benefits that conventional medicine brings. And I completely agree. It is incredible at so many things. Truly astonishing. But at other things it is appalling. useless and worse, dangerous. Its not the magic bullet answer to all health issues, that is my argument with the system. There is a big difference. I’m not anti conventional I am simply pro choice.

Here is my current thinking. We need:

A People’s Revolution of Health.

We really need a people’s empowerment  movement for ordinary folk.
We need to learn that we are the doctor of our life, and take the responsibility for that.
We need to remember the old wives tales about healing, and use them.
We need to get Granny’s old healing recipes out and use them regularly.
We need to remember we are part of nature, and part of nature is there to heal us.
We really need to start thinking healthfully in a proactive way.

This is my call to a more integrated holistically based health and wellbeing system that includes the best of all modalities. Its the only sane way forward.

My next book will very likely be on this subject, as I obviously have a lot to say!

Thanks for reading!

Kavi Portrait 2 copy

The Body is a Demanding Lover

The last few weeks have once again brought me face to face with an area of life I already thought I knew intimately, namely  body issues that take over life. We call it illness but in many ways its more like a demanding lover.

This time round it started as either a spot or a bite that wouldn’t heal when we were in Costa Rica. I have had wound healing problems before, because my immune system is impaired and weak, and because I have been suffering from circulation issues since my inflammatory bowel disease, so this wasn’t a surprise.
When we returned to the UK I sought to get it looked at and get some blood tests. The doctor spotted infection in the leg wound and gave me some antibiotic cream to apply. I used it, reluctantly, for 7-10 days and it didn’t really change things. After about a week I noticed spots and bumps appearing on the arms, and this progressed and progressed until it became a rash. When the rash became worrying I sought the doctors help again, he offered the cream again for the leg wound and not much for the rash.
At that stage I saw my Ayurvedic doctor who found me to be very out of balance…

The rash a few days ago. Its much much worse now.

Anyway, here I sit a week later at a friends house in Kings Langley, north of London, after a trip to the A and E yesterday to ask for a diagnosis. The doctor has said I have a full blown histamine reaction. The rash has covered my whole body, including some of my head, and has actually morphed into one big rash that looks like a second skin, red and raw and flaky…its agony..My arms have swollen because of the rawness, and right now its not abating.
I look like a reptile!

I have been given antihistamine tablets and I’m praying they are going to work…SOON!

So, my friends, I decided it was time to write from the place of suffering.

Now I have had the chance to reflect and dive into this I can see how my recent life has led to this, and how, on mental, emotional and lifestyle levels, I have contributed to it. Thats not blame its just awareness.

I need to see clearly to be able to change the things that I can change in order to give myself maximum chance of health for the future.

Thats why I say the body is a demanding lover. You always have the choice, to resist and make up stories, to fight it and try and dominate it, or to surrender and learn to love on a whole different level. Body really demands that we listen when it displays symptoms. To me the body is feminine, it represents the earth because its born of the earth and dies back into the earth. Mind must surrender its wilfulness to the body to be peaceful.
Body reveals to you where you need to change, as long as you are willing to really accept responsibility.

I have listened to the message that has come this time. What I heard is this. Because in my life over the last two years there have been so many changes, it has caused much instability and ungroundedness. Amoda, my wife, and I are trying to move to the US, ad we gave up out flat in the UK last year. We have been nomadic since September and its been very stressful. I have dealt with it badly, mainly by not acknowledging that I couldn’t cope, but also by thinking I could cover it up and drink lots of coffee and life a ‘bulletproof lifestyle’ and its reared its head and bitten me.

Basically I overruled my body. And I know that you can only do that for a limited time, especially if it involves stressful living, and you already carry issues.

I can’t say these lessons are easy, and if you are experiencing things, or you know someone who is, I send you my love and recognition. Many ailments, symptoms and signs, are mysterious and not easily definable. And without knowing what is going on the mind easily freaks out and imagines the worst. But mind needs to be tamed. And it gets tamed by bringing it into presence.

The whole thing about ‘being present’ was preoccupying me as I was going to sleep last night. I realised that proper breathing and being fully present go hand in hand, they become a healing in itself, and they allow the entire organism to relax for a while, which quietens the immune and nervous system.

Being present isn’t just some spiritual exercise, it is a very practical approach to illness. It has beneficial effects.

I have been doing pranayama breathing exercises for immune system healing and calming, and I must say they are excellent for keeping me here, softly aware of this moment, without any stories. You simply cannot fully breathe and have lots of stories of past or future at the same time. One or the other. And healing is only found in the breathing.

This is the key point about presence and illness. Illness is taxing and stressing to the whole organism. Illness is also highly intertwined with emotions and mind. It is entirely natural, when the body suffers from unusual and painful, life interrupting symptoms, to worry and be concerned. But there is a fine line between healthy concern that drives positive action, and the kind of anxious worry that makes matters worse by stressing the adrenal glands, over burdening immune and nervous system, and bringing the system down lower. Body and mind are hardwired together.

So presence is great antidote to this. Its not just an idea that brings some relief, although it does that. Its actually more a form of medicine. Call it Presence Medicine. It softens, it nourishes, it allows loving energy to flow. It forgives and even brings joy. In the great allowing that being fully present brings anything can happen, even miracles. There is a doorway to spirit offered by being present. The divine is through that door and, upon true communion with the divine, all things become possible.

Presence is not found by doing anything. It is found by not doing anything. It is found by undoing everything. It is a profound not doing, not making any movement to change anything. Everything is allowed to flow through. there is no mental grabbing at thoughts or sensations, no attempt to change pain or discomfort. Just a growing awareness of all things that appear in the field of awareness. You simply become awareness itself. And if that is not possible, you just sit and listen to the rapids of thoughts or stories, or pains as they come and go. Eventually the noise dies down, and you might catch a glimpse of peacefulness. Try it! Try it whether you are ill or not. It really has great benefit for your life.

OK thats enough from me for today. Thank you so much for reading. I’m off to get my herbal remedies, do some yoga and breathing, and makes some prayers for my healing..I need to move on from this.

Sunbeams in the green wood