Running Is My Meditation – Don’t Sit Around, Move Something!

Yesterday I did a 10 mile run. Two days before that a 6.2 mile run.

This morning I ran over the Golden Gate Bridge in the early morning sunrise.
It was utterly gorgeous and I felt such a sense of freedom.
I run approximately 25 miles per week. That’s 100 miles a month at least.
I have run 446 miles this year so far. All my runs have been in the morning.
My best running time is 11am when it’s warm, preferably sunny.
I’m 59 years old.
I am fitter than I have ever been as an adult.
I’m pretty fast for an older guy. I average 9 minutes per mile and my average length of run is 5.1 miles.
My app tells me I’m usually in the top 8% for distance run.

I am motivated for running.
For me it’s physical and spiritual. It’s even a kind of meditation.
It gets me into a zone. It helps me sweat. It enlivens me. It brings a great spaciousness to my mind.
I connect with some deep inspiration when I run.
I feel it enliven my cellular body.
It doesn’t feel like a stretch in a bad way, ever.

But it really hasn’t always been like this. In fact it was the opposite for years and years.
I was the most unfit guy ever during my 20s and 30s, and even my 40s.
It has taken years of persistence and success, and failure, to get to this point.
And still I have to persist. But I found the groove and know the rewards.

And don’t forget:
I have been through chronic illness, on a long journey that lasted about 10 years. Some of that time I ran, but I struggled with exercise. I stayed with it. When the body and nervous system is under par and stressed it’s very hard to get the full benefit of exercise. So you do what you can. I did rebounding to keep the energy flowing. I did yoga for flexibility. I did core strength exercises to build muscle. All of this you can do, adapted to your own state of health.

The bottom line is, you can’t recover or heal or find true vitality without doing something for the body.
If nothing else, walking is great! 5 – 10 miles a day will get things going. Just don’t sit around. It will kill you.
Sleep is so very important, good quality sleep. We go to bed very early and get up very early.
Hydration is very important.
Nutrition is vital.

But of all things I have seen and felt over the years, enthusiasm and motivation are the two most powerful. With those on your side anything is possible.

Anything.

Thanks for reading, see you out there!

Kavi

ps. Any runners out there, connect with me!
SmashRun – https://smashrun.com/kavi.hockaday

 

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Distortion in your Energy Field

Any distortion in your energy field may result in some illness or other. 

What does this mean?

It means that the river of energy that comprises your life, and all life, is flowing naturally and effortlessly from source into manifestation and back again.

Some elements on this level of reality are anti-life, toxic to nature, and disruptive to that natural flow. When they interfere with the river of (divine) energy they create a distortion in the flow. This can cause any number of problems.
The one we are concerned with here is ill health. Not just physical illness, but all perceived illness, including mental and emotional illness.

So what distorts the flow?

Here is where it gets interesting.

On the physical level things like some viruses and heavy metals, chemicals, wifi frequencies, and of course GMO produced foods. In fact anything that is made by man has been largely created artificially. It may feed us but it’s a (sometimes subtle) energy flow disruptor.

Let’s talk about the mental and emotional level.
Thought has incredible power. More than we imagine. Consider the fact that EVERYTHING that humanity has built, created, destroyed, and manufactured, started as a thought, and was then thought into life. If you don’t imagine that same thought turned inwards against yourself can have the same power, negatively, then you need to reconsider.

Thought can create, and thought can destroy.
It can also severely disrupt the energy flow within your finely tuned system.

Negative thought, toxic thought, grievous thought have an impact, and they distort nature.

Truth, like love, has a natural flow to it. Goodness, positivity, compassion, self love, joy, all these qualities, if they are true, are benign and even beneficial.

But toxic emotions create toxic thoughts. Old, unhealed wounds still exist in the energy field of your body mind system, and they distort the natural flow of energy.

That’s what I mean when I say distortion in your energy field may result in ill health.

We are way more mysterious than we currently understand. There are infinitely more things that affect us than we know, ranging from the gross to the ever subtle.

So many forces shape our lives, our wellbeing and ill health, and we are scraping the surface to understand. We like to think that our science is a long way to understanding the complexities of the human being, and that modern medicine is on the path to solving our health issues, but is that really true?

Chronic illness is out of control. Cancer is out of control. Depression is out of control. There are more people alienated by life now than ever. Something is patently not right. Most medicine doesn’t heal, it hides. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of science and medicine. When it’s used with discretion and wisdom. Sadly most medicine, and most doctors, are lost in the superficial paradigm that has no wisdom or depth in it. 

The greatest thing to know about pharmaceutical medicine is the discretion when to use it, and when NOT to. It is not a magic bullet.

They would laugh at what I write and what I say. But I stand by the truth of my experience. They said I would be on the meds for ever. I never took them once. They said surgery. I have no symptoms at all. What?

I resolved all my inner distortion, old conflicts, toxic thoughts, removed heavy metals, and enabled the natural flow of inner divine energy to flow again in my life and gradually healing happened. I chose not to take pharmaceutical medicine as I believe they are toxic, and you have to pay for the short term gain of symptom suppression. It is not good for the liver that is already burdened by the illness. But I am radical and have alternative beliefs.

It took years, and a life changing spiritual, emotional and mental deep dive into the very nature of my existence. I surrendered everything, battled hard, trusted deeply, hit rock bottom, got up and kept on going, and put one foot in the front of the other. Oh, and I never actually believed I had a disease. 

Go figure.

Heal the distortion.

With great love and (hopefully) inspiration – Kavi

The Need To Heal Old Wounds

From my personal experience, my research and coaching lots of clients I really have concluded this one simple yet profound truth:

When we deny old emotions and/or present difficult feelings we put an increased stress on our body, on our nervous system, immune system, and important organs like heart and thyroid, and our brain. Whether that actually ’causes’ illness or not is academic, because the bottom line is it really doesn’t help.

My holistic principle is to understand that which puts extra tax and burden on a delicate and finely balanced system (the human organism) is ultimately destructive, and will assist in early degradation of healthy life. As we age it gets harder and harder to bounce back and regenerate. Which means that as we get older we must get wiser and get MORE relaxed and more FREE of old burdens. Old burdens will rigidify us physically, mentally and spiritually unless we consciously release them. They might even kill us.

This point is not as nebulous or subtle as you may think. The river is meant to flow. If it doesn’t flow it stagnates. If it stagnates it becomes toxic and allows disease to happen. It is exactly the same with us. Energy is meant to flow through us. Old emotions and toxic thoughts impede this flow and become somehow ‘trapped’ in our cellular body. The same stagnation can happen. 

Thus detoxification is useful on the physical level AND the emotional energetic level. This proposition might annoy some people and even be dismissed as new age but I have experienced it and see it everywhere, and it is a self evident truth.

In my own healing journey, healing a huge auto immune condition (inflammatory bowel disease) it really wasn’t long in my detoxification process that I was propelled into the fury and powerful world of my pent up, hot, acidic and generally volatile emotions, the ones that I had buried and denied for years and years since the traumatic break up of my parents when I was 16 years old. I held on to the trauma for decades but could never access the pain and therefore never receive any healing. Make no mistake, trauma in the body, just because its not present in everyday experience, is powerful and dangerous. It’s not inert, meaning it doesn’t just sit there in a neutral state doing nothing. 

No, it has a negative power. It influences decisions, it can drive addictions and lifestyle choices. It ramps up stress response into hot stuff like rage or scary stuff like fear and anxiety. It may play a huge part in depression. It creates havoc with the nervous system and immune system, both of which have a DIRECT effect on health. It is known, for example, that stress has a direct impact on the gut micro biome, reducing healthy gut flora and allowing the ‘bad guys’ to gain the upper hand.

I truly believe that my healing had plateaued until I dived into my emotions. And then it catapulted into an increase in healing. It’s not the magic bullet but it is incredibly powerful.

I would go as far as to say you can’t truly heal without it.

If you are on the same journey that took me over 10 years, please listen. Do the emotional stuff. Find a way, find a resource. Follow your instinct for what your body wants, listen to your own inner voice, and get guidance from others who know this territory, and then fully embrace your healing. Even when it is difficult because dragging old stuff up hurts, still press on. It is far better that you meet the pain, and it hurts, and you release it, than you don’t meet it and it kills you.

I wish you love and blessings on your path.

Thanks for reading!

 

Just How Connected To Our Environment Are We?

This one question is the source of constant inquiry to me. It is that important, and that mysterious, I just can’t believe it. And I honestly do believe that if we could see and know the truth of our relationship to our environment, we would be shocked to the core and change instantly.

But first I have to answer another question. What do I mean by ‘environment?’

Let me be clear here I am not talking about ‘nature’ or ‘environmental issues.’ Of course that is very important, and very related, but I am talking specifically here about consciousness and form.
I mean more on the level, to use a metaphor, of the goldfish and the water. By environment I mean the space we exist in, our reality (or what we take for reality), and interact with, and of course that includes earth activity, weather, sun and moon activity and planetary movements.

We imagine ourselves to be separate from the world and each other.  You can feel where your body ends and the world begins. You know the world through your senses, 5 (usually) coherent messengers that feed impulses and signals to your brain that your brain interprets as ‘the world’ and makes necessary adjustments.

But what happens if you are not actually receiving the whole picture? What is beyond the perception and interpretation? Nothing? Is there such a thing as ‘nothing?’ Is it as convincing as we believe?

We understand through science and quantum science that everything is comprised of energy at the quark level. The whole shebang is energy in movement, in flux. And we further understand from quantum experiments  (the double-slit experiment) that this energy field, which includes us and everything around us, responds to thought and belief, intention and desire. It actually seems to respond to who we are at our deepest level, not just what we think or feel on the surface of life.

Furthermore it looks as though we are all engaged in a consensus reality, a matrix if you will, a virtual experience that has certain fixed parameters and we get to experience it as our reality.

Please be clear at this point. I am exploring, not giving a thesis. I am not a researcher, a scientist or a quantum guy. I don’t have a clue, but I am fascinated by this subject.

Here is why. Because I FEEL completely hard wired to most of their reality we live in, and SOFT wired to the rest of it.

I mean hard wired in the sense that when I walk down the street like you I see shops, cars, people, road etc etc.

Soft wired becomes more subtle and unique to each of us. I ‘feel’ energy and vibration when I go to certain places. I am aware of  a feeling within me that doesn’t feel as though its mine. It can be subtle but I have learned to open to it. It helps to open to it as impersonal (without shirking my own responsibility for what I feel).

Further more I believe that I ‘feel’ earth-life. I feel thunderstorms, earthquake activity, moon-pull. I feel solar activity, as I know many people do, and I feel astrological pulls and pushes all the time.

And I ‘feel’ people. Some folks feel other people more than others. But they definitely do. I have also experienced many times a certain ‘telepathy’ with my wife, where I say instantly exactly the thing she is thinking. This has happened hundreds of times, and is now beyond shocking us. THAT SUGGESTS THERE IS MORE TO OUR EXPERIENCE THAN WE CURRENTLY UNDERSTAND.

I am not unusual in any of this. But what may be unusual is that I listen and take notice. I trust myself and am willing to open to what is happening, even though I might not understand it.

It is one of the things that makes me a good coach and guide. I ‘feel’ my clients and where they are at.

It is my claim that we are blinded by our own perception, and interpretation of our perception, and we do ourselves and the apparent world a great disservice by our ignorance.

We take the picture we experience to be THE WHOLE PICTURE, and that is one of our greatest errors.

Consider what happens to consciousness, to our experience of reality, in the deepest state of meditation, or in a flotation tank, or under the influence of certain psychedelic drugs.
It changes, fundamentally. And what has until that point seemed so real suddenly and often overwhelmingly no longer does so. Suddenly everything may appear connected to everything else, and it is as though ‘the doors of perception’ themselves have been opened and we see the truth that it is IMPOSSIBLE to define what is ‘out there’ as reality and what is not.

That awareness changes your life completely.

This post is a simple and basic discussion of this point. I would LOVE to hear from you and know what you have experienced and what you believe. I hope it has prompted some contemplation and even a rethink of where you are at.

Thanks for reading!

What Is Health?

I visited my chiropractor this morning for my regular and ongoing treatment (I’m having a series of treatments to realign – fantastic) and, while I was on the coach, he asked me a question, ‘What does health mean to you?’

After the session we dived in to the question between us and tried to unravel it a bit. Because its actually quite complex in its answer.

Sure, ‘health’ can mean no illness, as in ‘I’m ok and feeling pretty good.’

But when you dive into what it really could mean you find all sorts of issues.

To the ancient cultures of India and China health means an inner harmony between mind, body and spirit. They are holistic by definition. But the western mind has grown up with a largely different mindset. That mindset is founded in separation. It means that we innately think of everything as separate from everything, and independent of everything else. That means we can easily think of the body as separate from the mind and spirit. And western medicine almost without fail follows this model.

Eastern health systems recognize a natural intelligence that informs everything, and their practices attempt to align us with that natural intelligence. Chi, Prana, Lifeforce are some of the terms used.

Western mind and western medicine has no particular term for this intelligence because it doesn’t recognize it exists.

Yet even western medicine and health understands there is a connection between mind and body. What is stress if not evidence that emotions and thoughts have a physical impact?

And of course we as human beings are implicitly interconnected with our environment, as much as the goldfish is connected with the water in its bowl. Sadly our society paradigms are built on a belief in separation and the prowess of mental accomplishment and all it signifies. Inner harmony has little credibility in today’s world. There is no time for it.

So we have problems when talking about what health means.

But we arrived at some conclusions between us. Let me list them a bit and see if they resonate:

  1. Health is a state whereby the natural intelligence of the organism is free to flow.
  2. Health is inner and outer harmony.
  3. Health is the absence of dis-ease, a natural state of easiness.
  4. Health is a state of peace.

To me the ultimate state of health is spiritual peace, because in that state of deep acceptance there is only love, and in that love the body is free to follow its own course. We are all finite beings and everything has its day, it rises and then it falls back into the earth. Peace is the acceptance of this, and there can be no greater health that this.

I am only scratching the surface here but I wanted to open the door to a deeper conversation with you. I wonder what health means to you?

Please let me know in the comment section below..

Getting ‘Clean’ and How it Changes Your Life

I talk a lot in my sessions (and outside my sessions) about being ‘clean.’ It seems to resonate with people. People actually get what it means, those who have the desire to escape the mess and drama of what they have been used to.

Clean is not strange or even difficult to attain. It is, I guess, profound to the normal, messy, entangled one who hangs on to that way of life, who maybe even secretly loves and desires the attention they get from all the drama.
Some of those people are narcissists, and some are just regular unconscious, but they are all caught up in the same web, sticky and messy and overly dramatic.

I was done with all that. I am clean. That means I don’t lay anything weird on anyone, neither am I available for anyone to stick any weirdness on me. It’s not a defensive or attacking stance. It is neutral, just not playing bullshit dramatic games ever. Clean. Out of the entanglement. Maybe you could call it natural.

We were, most of us, born into the drama, and we got completely sold it, and then we became it. It’s family for most of us. And then it becomes everything in our lives. Politics is drama, many relationships are drama. They all have the same stickiness..It’s horrible. And its not the only way to live, nor the most preferable.

That is why I talk about becoming ‘clean.’ Because by becoming clean, without closing down or shutting everything out, life becomes easier. Shit still happens but it doesn’t stick any more.

It is maturity, growing up, becoming wise. It’s the end of games and the beginning of real life. Sure you might have to say no to a load of things and people. That comes with being clean. But if that is what you really want, that’s what you have to do.

It is very refreshing.

So why does it matter in regard health and wellbeing?

Well this is a good question and very relevant in today’s world. You see, in today’s world the majority of thought still has us living as though everything were separate from everything else. In this world of separation what you think, feel, believe, and how ‘clean’ you are in your energetic body does not matter at all. As far as a lot of science is concerned the two are completely separate.

So I ask you…Do you believe that everything is separate from everything else? I bet you don’t.

Here is my take: EVERYTHING YOU DO, SAY, THINK, FEEL AND BELIEVE has an effect on your wellbeing and/or your illness.

It is all involved and everything casts an influence in direct and indirect ways. If you have complicated, sticky, even messy and manipulative relationships that keep you stuck and cause you stress, you are going to feel it in your body, its going to influence things like eating habits, addictive patterns, energy levels and sleeping patterns. It is going to impact your nervous system and your immune system. Period.

Being ‘clean,’ gives you breathing space, a sense of freedom and lightness. It allows your aura to grow, and you can stop some of the activity that requires so much energy. It takes great energy to play games and defend and attack. The bottom line is where are you going to place your energy and attention?

So I am a total advocate for getting ‘clean.’ It has worked so well for me I cannot begin to tel you. My clients benefit from my being clean and they begin to feel it in their own lives, and that affects the people around them. And so it becomes effortless.

Try it, contemplate this. Get back to me if you don’t know what I’m talking about, or ask anything.

What Place Does HOPE Have in Healing

We can live with hope, and avoid despair, if we learn to surrender our attachment to what we think our health outcome should be, and instead be present to the healing journey as it unfolds  –  Joanna Garritano

I had a long conversation about health with someone yesterday. He had health issues and I told him of my journey, the short version, but it did include the bit about my diagnosis results and the prognosis handed to me by the consultant in a London Hospital. I go into detail about this encounter in my book http://a.co/duWS3Lu but suffice to say it was a pivotal moment in my journey.

For your benefit, this is a short description. The consultant was aloof and, dare I say it, arrogant. That was my feeling, subjectively of course. He sat in front of me and said 3 things.
1. What you have (Inflammatory Bowel Disease) is incurable.
2. You will be on medication for life.
3. You may well have to have some, or all, of your colon removed.

When I questioned him he added a 4th blow.

4. There was nothing you can do, no diet would help, no natural medicine would work, nothing.

Honestly, it makes my blood boil right now just thinking about it.

It makes my blood boil because he was WRONG, and because many people who are not as feisty, rebellious, or informed, as I am (and was even then), may well believe him, throw themselves into his hands and GIVE UP ALL HOPE.

That makes me furious.  Because I seriously don’t believe it to be true. And I am living proof of it.

12 years since that diagnosis and prognosis and I never took ANY medication for it. I have NO SYMPTOMS of IBD at all, no ulcerations, no blood, no mucus, and when I’m tested there are no signs of inflammation. So, as we like to say these days.

What!

Sorry to be dramatic and animated but I think you can understand how it feels to me.

I could have had my colon removed, for no good reason. I could have started taking steroids, anti inflammatories etc etc and been dependent on them for the rest of my life..And so on. It could have been the end of me. As it turns out it was actually the beginning of a long and deeply transformative journey.

When I reflected on this experience I realized why I was so angry. Because what was at stake here was HOPE.

Hope is a fundamental part of healing. Its not some by-product, some throwaway part of the human condition. It is an integral part of us.

I don’t think you can heal without hope. Hope creates an energy that drives or pulls us forward. If you take hope away you don’t, in the case of illness, create acceptance, you create resignation and despair. You cannot heal or transform if resignation or despair are the dominant energies in your system. We are not mechanical robots, we are subtle, complex, mysterious life forms that have unique and powerful abilities to change things simply through the power of our beliefs, our attention, and our consciousness itself. 

We are not mechanical robots, we are subtle, complex, mysterious life forms that have unique and powerful abilities to change things simply through the power of our beliefs, our attention, and our consciousness itself. 

Whatever positive feelings and emotions you can muster in the face of illness are welcome. Be they joy, laughter, hope, love, or peace, they all help by flooding the body with helpful and healing hormones that uplift the whole organism and give it life force.

Conversely whatever negative feelings or emotions flood the body, the opposite may well happen. they depress and downgrade us. They slow things down, they deflate us and allow for negativity to flood the body.

If you sit for a moment and consider this, feel the energy of joy, love and laughter and how they FEEL in your body, and then you consciously consider despair or resignation and how it feels in the body you would have to agree with me. They are very different. So hope is  a valuable part of the healing process. 

BUT BE CAUTIOUS. Remember the words at the start of this blog.

“We can live with hope, and avoid despair, if we learn to surrender our attachment to what we think our health outcome should be, and instead be present to the healing journey as it unfolds.”

Surrendering attachment to the way we THINK it should look, or the way we want it to look, is so important. I really got this key point somewhere down the path. I actually had a profound moment  during a very dark period when I fell into despair. I was tormented and suffering physically, I had no idea what was going to happen and I was at the end of my tether. I walked into some local woods by myself and lay down among the leaves and fell into what felt like a deep well. I desperately wanted an end to my suffering, mainly from my emotional and mental suffering.

I then found myself speaking to God…whatever that means..And I said, “God, I no longer care whether you take my physical body or not, I hand that over to you, but I want love in my heart, and I want an end to my trauma, to my anger and to my emotional pain. I want some peace.”

It was as though I had realized that, although ultimately I had no power over whether my physical body would heal or not, I DID have power to decide whether to let go of my emotional baggage once and for all, willingly.

And something happened that day, and it has always been with me. What happened was, by just being willing to die but keeping my heart open, I surrendered attachment to outcome. That’s the quote at the top of this blog. To live with hope but surrender attachment to the outcome we think we want. I did that, and it created FREEDOM for me. It released so much healing energy in me it really contributed to my long term recovery and subsequent health.

The truth is, when we get ill, or even when we don’t get ill, we don’t know whether we will live longer or shorter time, or whether we will recover or not. But we can fix our broken hearts, our resentments and grievances, and we can do that now, and now and now. 

Hope, in this context, is a beautiful energy, a powerful energy, and thus a healing one.

If anyone tries to steal your hope away and can’t replace it with something better, turn away and run. Don’t believe them. While you are alive there is some hope.
When its chronic illness and not acute, there is hope.
When you, or they, don’t really know what it is, there is hope.
Act on that hope without fixed attachment to how it should look, and bring all your vibrant intelligence, wisdom and power to take whatever action ‘feels’ right.

Choose ‘hope without attachment,’ over ‘resignation without any power.’

Thanks for reading!

References:
http://joannagarritano.com/impermanence-hope-and-healing/#comment-4330