My Kindle Book, The Power of Illness, is now $0.99

I have made the cost of my book ‘The Power of Illness to Change Your Life,’ as low as Amazon will allow.

They will not allow me to make it free so $0.99 is as good as it gets.

I think you might enjoy it. It is the story, at least some of it, of how I healed naturally from a serious case of Inflammatory Bowel Disease, despite doctors and professionals assertions that healing was impossible.

It is a pretty wild and reassuring story with some good pointers if that is what you are looking for.

Here are some reviews.

Great book. Fully explains the journey of healing, describing all the alternative therapies available to heal holistically. I have tried to lead a spiritual wholesome healthy lifestyle, and sometimes things change, and we are further from where we started or wanted to be. This book has given me the push to get healthy again and look after the body and mind. Highly recommend it.

Kavi writes with so much passion, insight, respect and care for the reader.
His book is part biographical, part information and guidance. I have learnt a huge amount from reading this book and the writing style is very easy to follow.
This truly is a book for everyone – whether you are well or unwell. If you are considering buying this, do it! You will not regret it!
A truly inspirational book, to be read again and again.

Give it a try. I want everyone to understand that healing IS possible, it’s not some figment of the imagination. I do not care what doctors say, they were wrong in my case and they might be wrong in others cases.

We are in delicate and disturbing times when immune integrity matters more than ever. I had to deal with exactly that. And it has helped me and healed me.

Please please please download my book. It is not perfect and it’s not a ‘how to’ manual. It’s an inspirational message that we have more capability than we are told. But we must take power over our bodies, emotions and thoughts.

The Mystery of Healing Illness

People want to know how I healed Inflammatory Bowel Disease.

They ask for tips, bits of advice that might help.

I understand this, really I do. I understand how confusing and desperate it is when you are very sick. I understand how you want someone to say ‘Do this, do that, try this, try that.’ And I know for myself it can be helpful…But

I stopped working with people specifically around illness. I used to do coaching and guidance about healing. I wrote a book about my own journey called ‘The Power of Illness to Change Your Life.’

But I stopped.

Why? I stopped because, from my own experience, I know what a massive journey and 100% life transformation it can mean to really heal. My own healing didn’t just return me to some imagined state of health I had before I got ill. My healing changed everything about me, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, energetically. I mean every area of me transformed. The healing of illness became a catalyst for the deepest inner change. It wasn’t healing illness, it was a doorway I went through that led me into a new experience of myself and life.

And I don’t know how ready most people are for that journey.

Of course it might not be the same for everyone. Not everyone wants to do that, and maybe it’s not appropriate for everyone. I am radical. I needed to be radical. I didn’t just want to fix the physical problem. I wanted liberation from everything that had contributed to a dysfunctional mindset, addictions, terrible lifestyle choices, suppressed emotions and old old traumas locked up in my body.

The journey I went on lasted so long it became my life. It didn’t stop at some point and I returned to who I was. Who I was disappeared and I was new. As my cellular body detoxified and revitalized so did my mind, my awareness, so did my heart, my skin, my blood, my very emotions. I got so deep into detoxification of the old stuff that it triggered a cascade of emotional healing, old memories, unconscious holding patterns that were lurking deep in my body mind system, contributing to my illness.

There was nowhere I didn’t go within myself, nothing I haven’t done in pursuit of healing.

It worked. There is no Inflammatory Bowel Disease now. Colonoscopy is clear. No symptoms, none. Great bowels, great digestion and elimination. Great health, great energy. Sure, there are the ups and downs of being a 60 year old human who put his body through hell for 25 years. But all in all I look young, people think I’m young, I scrub up well and I’m alive and vibrant.

I never took any medication. NONE. Despite the initial consultant telling me without any doubt at all I would be on meds for life guaranteed, I never took any! That meant I had to become a warrior, develop deep trust in the healing process and stay the course even when the sea got rough. And it did get rough.

Never believe what you are told. Listen to it, learn from it, get second opinions, listen to your inner voice. Ask your higher self. Gestate it, consider whether you believe it deeply or not. It doesn’t matter who tells you. Truth is malleable, flexible and it changes, depending on many factors. And sometimes it doesn’t. There is no guarantee, just as there is no magic bullet.

Illness is a huge deal. It changes everything about your relationship to others, to yourself, to life, to existence. Don’t belittle it or try and reduce it to ‘a few tips’ or a simple remedy. It is a life changer.

But not to everyone. Some folks heal quickly and only make minor changes. Healing is a mystery.

But this is my pitch. It is always beyond tips. Everything is beyond ‘tips.’ Spiritual transformation is beyond tips. Mastery of any sort is extensive and deep. That’s what it seems to be for, at least part of it.

It is a massive undertaking, and must be undertaken willingly. Resentment creates tension. Tension is something that must be resolved, not perpetuated. Illness for most of us is a calling to the fire of transformation.

My advice is leave no stone unturned. Do everything, explore all options. Open all doors, even the ones that you have to prise open.
It will hurt, do it anyway.
You will cry until you can’t bear it any more, do it anyway.
Face your fears, your worst darkness. Face the possibility of death and heal anyway.
Become lighter and lighter. Utterly change your eating and dietary habits. Detox, detox, detox, detox, deeper and deeper. Strengthen, strengthen strengthen the inner body, the cellular body.
Feed your cells what they want, LIGHT.
Light is what our bodies want. That light comes in food, greens and berries and food that is alive. That light comes as love, kindness, forgiveness, acceptance, joy, love, wonder and beauty. That lightness comes in nature and relaxation.
Do whatever you can, and become an expert on yourself.
That’s the only tip I have.
And leave the rest to God.

With all my love Kavi Jezzie Hockaday.

COLONOSCOPY Results – COLITIS HAS GONE! – Healed Naturally

OK friends, I am very overdue with a blog post, so here goes.

The truth is I am considering winding up my holistic stuff, both here on WordPress and my Facebook page. I know there is some value for people who need inspiration and some guidance in these troubling times of chronic illness and confusion, but I can only do so many things and put my focus in so many areas, and my attention is drawn to my wife’s work, retreats and meetings we do together, and my poetry and music.

I am not sure so if you have anything to say please let me know.

ANYWAY…

Recently, in December, I finally succumbed to having a colonoscopy screening for colon cancer. I haven’t had a colonoscopy for over 8 years and have not wanted to have one. But since being here in the US, having some symptoms and a history of ulcerative colitis, the clinic persuaded me (through fear) that I should have one. I resisted because I don’t respond to fear based invitations, but last year (2018) as a result of a very intense detoxification program (thanks to Medical Medium protocol – link at the end) I started to get blood and mucus in my stool. It tested positive for blood and I managed, through grace, and living in progressive San Francisco, to get myself a colonoscopy FREE!

Believe me, that is a result, and one for which I am very grateful, because the cost of a colonoscopy can be up to $3000.

But I was very reluctant because I simply don’t like responding to life from fear.

The procedure happened December 20th at Kaiser hospital in San Francisco. What an experience! Talk about conveyor belt of colonoscopies, I have never seen anything like it. Apparently Kaiser in California hold the Guinness World Record for the most colonoscopies in one day (https://k-p.li/2TBUAeN )

It was super efficient and unlike the English more laid back system. This was AMERICAN! That means pretty big, efficient and no nonsense.

I had prepared for the procedure with the usual muck to clean the system, but to be honest it wasn’t very tough, just some tablets and drink and lots of bowel movement until I was empty, no solid food and so on. It’s not that scary when you have done these things before.

They sedated me in the procedure room and talked about what would happen and I expected to be half awake like in England and then boom! I woke up with Amoda next to me in the recovery room, totally oblivious to what happen. They knock you out here, simple as that.

So then we delicately made our way home for some nice food and a day of recovery.

RESULTS! This is what you want to hear about…

Well, the big news is double pronged.

First. No sign of any colon cancer. Done. I didn’t expect any but of course I am in increased danger because of a history of colon inflammation. But all clear. Yay!

Second. There is no inflammation, and therefore no colitis, in the colon. There is a small amount of inflammation in the rectum, and they want to call that proctitis. That means, and I am going to shout this so that if you want to share it with those who have ulcerative colitis or inflammatory bowel disease, THERE IS NO COLITIS, AND NO INFLAMMATION, IN MY colon. I do not have ULCERATIVE COLITIS any more at all. It’s gone. There is a small amount of inflammation in the rectum. That does not call for much action, although of course their recommended treatment involves pharmaceuticals (Canasa, whatever that is!)
This is really great news and supports the notion that this chronic disease and therefore many other chronic auto immune conditions, can actually be healed, certainly vastly improved, through NATURAL METHODS. Because in all the 12 or so years I experienced this thing called ulcerative colitis, I didn’t take one tablet of medication. That was my firm decision, and even though it was challenging and demanding, and the whole journey of healing was extraordinary, the results are in…

IT IS NOT THERE ANY MORE.

The consultant I saw in University College Hospital in London in 2005 told me, absolutely and without any discussion, that ‘You will have it for life, and you will be on medication for life.’

I wish I could see him today, and show him the letter I have from my MD who did the colonoscopy.

So there you have it friends. All those years of healing work, from the physical, diet, and body work and exercise, to the emotional, the cathartic, the spiritual, the forgiveness, the acceptance, the resolve to dig deeper, the whole shebang of the healing journey, all worth it.

But not worth it because of this colonoscopy, although I do feel proud and vindicated because of it, worth it because it forged me as a warrior who decided to find his own way, to buck the system that says ‘You can’t do that,’ and to choose to find out for myself. I did find out for myself.

And the news was good.

Thanks for reading!

 

Medical Medium Heavy Metal Detox Smoothie – http://www.medicalmedium.com/blog/heavy-metal-detox-smoothie

Everything (Including Illness) is Included in the Spiritual Journey.

I spent nearly 10 years seriously ill, from about 2004 to 2014. I had major chronic autoimmune illness. I won’t share the details but enough to say it was dramatic, not life threatening but totally debilitating, and it completely shattered my ability to live a ‘normal’ life.
I wrote a book about the experience called ‘The Power of Illness to Change Your Life.’

http://a.co/d/3ShFibv

It also invited me into the deepest inner journey of my life.
I see that period of my life as an entirely transformational one.
I cannot begin to tell you how deep it was. It was total. It took me to every part of myself, every unexplored area, every vulnerability, every attachment, every fear.

It demanded I resolve all past grievances and traumas. It urged me to accept the prospect of death, or a life of permanent illness.

It took me to rage and anger at my past, at myself, and at God
.
And of course it had a huge impact on my relationship with Amoda. She hadn’t signed up for a relationship with this. To her utter credit she just rolled with it and allowed me to have my inner journey, supporting where and when appropriate and encouraging me to dive in deeper.

I took absolutely no medication despite the frantic advice of the specialists and doctors. To some, to many, that was irresponsible. To us it was necessary. I followed nature, I followed intuition, I followed some instinct that said, ‘This will heal, you will heal.’

It was tough, warrior-like tough. I have been on my knees, on the floor. I have given it all up to god, I have surrendered my body for the peace of love and had that prayer answered.
I have embraced the human journey with all its fragility and its temporariness.

And I am not one of the spiritual ‘nondualists’ who want to deny the existence of the body and cast it aside as unimportant. I am not one of those.

I say love the body. Love the life. Find out for yourself what it means for consciousness, for the soul, for the spirit, to be in the form of a temporary vessel that will inevitably perish.

Explore the link between thought, belief and wellbeing and illness.

Don’t be afraid of the body, and don’t be afraid of attending to it. It’s not the enemy of freedom. It’s not the shackle that ties us down. Thought and belief are the shackles that bind us.

I have learned to be free AND live fully in the body while I am here.

I eat well and healthy. I run, yes I run, a lot. I love the freedom and joy of movement. And when I can’t do it any more, I will see if I can love that. When old age arrives, I will see if I can open to it, I will seek to embrace the fear I have of form dissolving.

But I won’t deny the human experience as not ‘spiritual.’ Everything is included.

Thank you for reading!

Sympathy for Suffering

The last few days, in fact in recent weeks, and particularly since we visited Santa Fe which is at 7000 feet, I have been revisiting some old symptoms associated with my ulcerative colitis. It is quite an unpleasant shock I can tell you. There is no blood, which is always pretty scary, but I have had mucus and irregular bowel movement and that feeling in the belly of discomfort and distress. (Sorry for the graphic detail!)

I am not trying to get any sympathy here, this short blog is about something else.

It is about the difference between feeing well and feeling ill.

I spent almost ten long years carrying illness and slow recovery. At times both Amoda (my wife) and I thought I was either going to die, slowly, or else carry sickness around for the rest of my life. It was bad, at times it was utterly demoralizing and I have spent time in despair and depression. I have been to the edge with my body and come back to tell the tale.

And my healing journey worked. It took such a long time, and so much patience and persistence. By the time I did my long water fast I still carried some remnants of scarring and discomfort in my colon, but after the water fast that disappeared. Since then I have had various issues, including a mysterious full body rash that lasted two years, and a borderline hashimotos diagnosis (thyroid malfunction and auto immune problem), but on the whole I have been getting stronger and healthier, to the point where people remark on my vitality and glow.

And every so often something happens and I get dragged back into stuff, and I remember.

I remember how tough it is to be ill. I think it’s real tough when the cause is mysterious and vague, labelled ‘auto immune’ without saying or knowing where it has come from or what to really do with it. Without knowing how to heal and how long it might take, it’s pretty daunting. That’s not to say acute illness is any better. In fact it’s all suffering.

It is tough. And that’s my point here. It is simple. It is very hard to function fully and brightly when there is illness. I am sorry. If it’s you who has something, I am sorry and I wish you great healing, or compassion and empathy, depending on where you are at.

Not everyone heals their body.

But everyone can heal their heart.

I came to the conclusion many years ago, when I was facing ‘the ‘illness for life’ thoughts, that it was more important for me to heal my wounded and broken heart than to be obsessed with healing my body. So I endeavored to do exactly that, and I remember one night I had what now seems like a deeply spiritual experience. Let me tell you.

I went out to the local woods and I lay down, fed up with pain and hardship, and desperate for some relief. I gave myself to the ground and it felt like a fell into a hole (kind of like a grave) and I realized I had reached the end of my tether. I came face to face with my mortality, and thus with God.

I remember saying (Inwardly), ‘God, you can take this body if you wan it, I no longer care and I am sick of holding on to desperation, but please help me heal this wounded heart. Give me some peace and love, and do what you want.’

I was so willing to let go of this body something changed. I actually became aware that life is vast and mysterious, much bigger than the smallness of ‘me and my body’ and how everything that we do, think, feel and experience is held in a love more exquisite and beautiful than anything we can ever imagine. If we could taste that love, what we might call God’s Love, for a moment, we may well not be able to do anything ever again, it may render everything else meaningless.

I have never forgotten this and whenever I slip back into anxiety or fear about illness, or death, or suffering, I remember it. It brings relief and great compassion, both for myself and for others who suffer. I know, through personal experience, that suffering is temporary and is not the truth of who we are.

But it is a challenge. And I feel for those who are ill, those who are at the end, those who are scared and those children who get ill so early in life. I have no explanations but I have an open heart that longs to hold suffering close and help carry it a little when it is too heavy.

Thank you for reading, may you be blessed.

Motivation and the Healing Path

I have just been scrolling through my site here and considering my book ‘The Power of Illness to Change Your Life,’ and what it is actually about.

I have realized that it’s really a motivational book, and I am a motivational speaker and writer and coach. Not a conventional one by any means, but I am motivational by nature. It is who I am, and who I have always been. I bring hope, I bring some light and some love, not on the surface but to the heart and soul.

In that sense, and I explore this somewhat in the book, whether physical healing happens or not is not the point.

Healing is what actually happens in the heart and soul of each one of us. The physical body, and our lives, are set to perish anyway, sooner or later. It’s a sad truth but there it is. And of course we want to hold on to health, and remove disease, for as long as possible while we are here.

But finding acceptance, peace, love and a deep spiritual connection, is more important. Those are qualities that transcend the physical body, the ego self and all its fears and anxieties and open the door to something entirely new.

That’s the motivation I have. It’s the willingness to face all this, and open my heart and mind in the midst of it. I had to, when I was ill and suffering, I had to make peace with myself, with my past demons, with my family and with God.

You see, I have learned over a long period of time that this life I was graced with, is a voyage of discovery, an ongoing conversation and relationship between me and God. God is the entirety of existence, everything that I see, feel, experience, touch and know. The whole world I encounter is God. I believed myself to be separate from all of life, and life was somehow happening to me.

And over the course of a long healing journey that belief perished like an old ghost and I found myself to be in the world, the world in me, and all was one thing. I became existence and existence expresses itself through me.

Until that time I had a beef with God.

And I saw that each man and woman carries the same wound. We are all the same, but with our own stories. Me and you, we are the same, all struggling with existence itself, how to live, what to do about death, how to relate, the whole thing.

Now there is such a peace and love and acceptance. So there is a great motivation in me to support others as they walk the path of healing, however it appears for them. I don’t preach, I don’t tell and I don’t persuade. I motivate through a kind of holistic logic.

Each man and woman carries the same existential wound. We are all the same, but with our own stories.

Why I’m saying all this is not to sell you my book. It is because the path of life, like the path of healing, is pretty tough, challenging and mysterious. We are called to dive into the unknown. When the body is sick and we are called to the unknown it’s nigh on terrifying, because we desperately want to know what to do to heal the body. The body is a ruthless teacher. There is no simple answer.

There is the journey, the relationship, the inquiry, the awareness, the self love, the diligence, the persistence, the knowledge, the softness and the warrior-like ness that may transform us.

In the dark we are scared. That fear blocks our natural intelligence, our intuition. It creates cellular dehydration and shuts us off from the light, both inner and outer, and that is where some of our intelligence comes from.

My aim is to help people past fear, not avoiding it, but not giving it more power than it warrants. Fear is a powerful voice, but fear must be met with discernment. When discernment listens to fear it knows whether it’s worthy of taking action or not. That comes through experience.

I think my book was a rough attempt at this motivation. Some people have read it a few times and used it in the way it was intended. We need each other to say ‘Yes I did it, you can too.’ And then it gives us just enough encouragement to put the next foot forward. 

Does the body always heal?

No. 

Do it anyway, for the sake of your heart and soul. It is more important to find the depth of loving acceptance while you are here. The healing journey is an invitation to this depth of love.

That is what happened to me. Illness definitely changed my life. For the better. It allowed me to meet myself and transform fear into love.

I hope this speaks to you if you are on the path.

Chronic Disease and the Magic Bullet Syndrome

This weekend I was asked again about how I healed Ulcerative Colitis by a third party who was trying to ‘help’ someone in their family who was desperate and suffering. I have been asked this question in various forms many times, and been asked for ‘tips and suggestions’ about what to do.

And I have to say there is something about the asking of these questions in this way that frustrates me so much.

Why?

Because it implicitly suggests and hopes that healing a major chronic disease is something that can be done easily without making much change or dramatic transformation, as if there is some secret ‘magic bullet’ that I found that instantly solved the whole thing and allowed me to carry on with my life the same way without changing anything.

I dont mean this implicit suggestion is even conscious on the questioners part, or the sufferers part. It comes more from not knowing and desperately hoping that they won’t have to do THAT much.

Because the simple fact is that people don’t want to change that much. Even when they are ill. It may sound shocking but a lot of people are so stuck in their lives, emotions, habits, thoughts and beliefs, that they would rather endure chronic illness than venture beyond the safety zone of their lives and step into the unknown. The mind and emotions desperately want safety and security of the known. And that is what you have to leave behind if you are going to heal anything.

It is exactly the same journey and challenge on the spiritual path. You cannot reach awakening or enlightenment while your strongest desire is to stay in the realm of the known, which is where it is most comfortable.

Here is where it gets a bit strange. It is called the ‘comfort zone’ but actually I’ve never met anyone inside it who is very comfortable. True comfort is found where comfort zone dissolves and the walls of false protection come crumbling down.
There is no place for what is false in spirituality OR healing.

So to return to my point. When I get asked these questions I have to respond truthfully. This is the kind of thing I say.

Dear ……

The journey of healing for me was an extraordinary undertaking that totally changed my life. I didn’t expect it but it happened because I surrendered to it and gave myself to it 100% without holding anything back. It took at least 10 years of dedication and struggle, self love and warrior-like strength.

It doesn’t have to take that long for everyone BUT it DOES take the same amount of courage and resourcefulness. Chronic illness, by the time it manifests as symptoms, has probably been lurking in the system for many years. It has something to do with many aspects of one’s life, from the physical to the emotional and the mental. Some of those things can be changed, looked at and transformed. There is no magic bullet to this, although there are helpful things. It is a big journey and a profound invitation for those who experience it. It is actually life itself rising up and saying, ‘Something you have been doing, some ways of living, eating, thinking, some emotions you have been carrying, no longer serve you and you need to change them.’

The experiencer can take that message as self blame or self negation, in which case they will suffer more, or they can step up to the challenge and make a big decision that they will meet this with openness, strength, vulnerability, willingness and power.’ With those qualities, with a lot of support, preferably from natural healers, functional doctors, and appropriate therapists, then that person will, step by step, slowly slowly, go on their journey. No one knows where it will lead. That is the mystery.

But I will guarantee you that it will change them, make them deeper and wiser, more self loving, more aware, more powerful, and more knowledgable than any course in pharmaceutical medication could.

And they may heal their chronic illness.

Thats why it’s difficult to offer tips and suggestions.

With great love and kindness.

Kavi’

What Disease?

How did I heal Ulcerative Colitis?
I didn’t.
What I did was remove what was triggering the inflammation and reactivity in my struggling body.
All the words ‘Ulcerative Colitis’ mean is ulceration of the colon, inflammation of the colon. That is a description not a disease.
It turned out to be toxic residue from years of drug abuse.
It turned out to be heavy emotional burden and traumas from youth.
It tuned out to be heavy metals.
It turned out to be liver stagnation.
It turned out to be lymphatic congestion.

All these were resolved almost fully with serious and focused detoxification and nourishment of the organism.
And with serious and focused emotional healing, releasing what was stuck in the body and mind system.
And getting some health going again.
With exercise, fresh air and relaxation.

At no point did I do anything about ‘Ulcerative Colitis.’

But magically, or obviously, by the time I finished my 21 day water fast, and since then, I have had NO SYMPTOMS at all of this disease they call Ulcerative Colitis.

As far as they are concerned I still have it.

As far as I’m concerned its vanished because I didn’t have any ‘disease’ in the first place. I had symptoms, sign posts, indicators of deep issues that were causing me big problems.

I hope you get this and show it to anyone who has chronic issues.

Don’t let the diagnosis define you. Think bigger and deeper.

Get wise and aware.

Auto Immune Causes – The Cat and Mouse Game – A Personal Tale

Some of you may know over the years I have been through many diagnoses ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous, but have suspected Thyroid problems for a while now. Hashimotos is an auto immune experience, and I have been through gut related auto immune in the form of colitis, so I carry a tendency and possibly a lingering causal issue.

I now have some definitive test results that reveal I am producing antibodies which means there is a problem with the thyroid and what might be called ‘an auto immune’ condition.

I now have something to work on. But honestly this area is a minefield of information and red herrings, false flags and holistic mystery.

Getting tested is important, but tests are so damn expensive, particularly when there are a myriad of tests.

Finding a professional, either a decent doctor or a functional doctor or a knowledgeable naturopath is very expensive and out of my range, so i’m in the thick of it with trying to unravel it for myself as much as possible.

Luckily I am healthy, or at least healthy enough to mitigate some of the symptoms and effects.

But thats not enough when there is attrition of the gland and body going on. I have to dig even deeper and find some causal factor.

Could be Epstein Barr virus.
Could be heavy metal.
Could be electro smog.
Could be the years of toxic drug overload.
Could be a genetic component.
Could be years of stress I carried.
Could be low testosterone.

You see the problem?

It is something of an anomaly to have this..I am actually super healthy on so many levels, and all indications are it just shouldn’t be so. So the question that must always be asked and pursued is WHY?

What is causing this reactivity in the cellular body? Over the years as I have healed my gut the inflammation markers have come down and down until now there is no sign of inflammation.

That doesn’t necessarily mean there is one. But something is in the system, or some imbalance in the system, that is creating this disturbance. It might be low grade infection (ala ‘Medical Medium’ suggestion that Epstein Barr virus is more at play in Hashimotos and auto immunity than we imagine. It could simply be years of toxic assault, mercury (now gone) and stress (which I carried for many years) and of course electro smog and all its joys..

And of course Im now 59 so the body is hanging and getting older, systems getting weaker, testosterone going down, and so on and so forth.

So the investigation continues, meanwhile I truly believe that one can at least offset damage and harm by living as though one were vibrantly well, consciously choosing healthy foods and exercise and attending to the mind and emotion. xx

Thats where I’m at. I am almost excited to have found out something definite. It gives me a direction to move in.

Thanks for reading!

My recent results.

What Did I Do To Heal Ulcerative Colitis?

One thing I am always careful of when I talk to people about healing ‘disease’ is this. No two people are the same, there is no one magic bullet that heals all people of all diseases, and thus what worked for me may not work for someone else.

Once we really understand that we have a choice to take greater responsibility for our own predicament. It is not always easy being both the sufferer AND becoming the investigator and researcher. But that is what must happen. Of course we will always need experts and professionals to guide us, support us and test us, but part of the healing itself is for us to become actively involved in making sense of our situation and becoming our own healers. That process creates new energy within us that becomes part of the journey.

So with all that said let me share once again some insights into my own healing path and what it involved.

When I was diagnosed with Inflammatory Bowel Disease (in particular Ulcerative Colitis) I had no idea what it was or what to do. But my first instinct was to investigate more rather than just accept the medication and prognosis the consultants and doctors offered me. I figured (intuitively) that my body was in meltdown with an overload of toxicity so to just load it up with more pharmaceuticals was heading in the wrong direction.

The professionals thought I was irresponsible and just plain wrong. I walked out of the hospital. I believe I was right, and the proof is that I never took any medication from that day to this, and those same professionals were emphatic that I would be on meds for the rest of my life. It just goes to show some of what is possible. They are not always right by any stretch of the imagination.

So that was important for me. I didn’t load my body any more than it was already loaded.

And then I went full-on detoxification. I could no longer eat properly anyway, suffering at times 20 bowel movements a day, losing a lot of blood and becoming increasingly weaker and more anaemic day by day. I went to India for two more detoxification panchakarmas, and I shifted slowly to a raw food diet. Raw food is inherently cleansing, but also pretty rough on the colon and very cooling, so there was a positive effect but also a negative effect and pretty soon I think my immune system was all but shut down, leaving me vulnerable to other issues like Raynaud’s disease, possible scleroderma and thyroid problems.

I spent two years 90% housebound and lost in confusion, fear, anger and physical suffering. It was tough. But I worked and worked on myself. I left no stone unturned, and even when I gave up I didn’t really give up. I hit rock bottom but somehow hung on in there and trusted that something deep was happening. I learned that healing is not a linear movement, it works in a spiral. And that means sometimes we feel worse when we are getting better, and at times we must revisit old traumas and scary places in order to assimilate them and/or let them go.

I learned that healing is PROFOUND. The healing call, if and when it calls, is not some little voice that just wants everything alright again. It is bigger, much bigger than that. The healing voice is shouting at us to change everything, to change fundamentally. It is huge. It wants TRANSFORMATION.

It took everything for me.

But here is the most extraordinary thing that changed for me, and for which I am still grateful and still amazed.

I saw and healed the dysfunctional relationship between my mind and my body. I came to understand what part in my illness, and wellness, in fact my whole life, my mind played. It was a HUGE revelation and one which still reveals itself over and over again.

I don’t think we have yet fully grasped the power of mind to influence body, both negatively and positively. I am so glad I worked on it, and I always advise those who are in any way suffering, to inquire for themselves what is going on.

I like to think of it like this. There is a mutual relationship going on between mind and body. Mind affects body AND body affects mind. It is a bio energetic feedback loop. And it can get very stuck in one mode of operation, that of negativity. It doesn’t matter where it started, in the body or in the mind, who cares! What matters is intervention in the endless loop. Intervene as deep as possible on the body level and things will slowly change on the mental level, which will then affect the body level. Intervene on the mental level and it will slowly have an impact on the body level.

But intervene on BOTH the body level AND the mental level and transformation of the whole organism may well happen.

It was tough for me. It lasted at least ten years and it took me to every part of myself. It was slow. It was scary. Like all huge journeys it challenged me, called me to step up to the plate, but eventually things started to change.

Clean up the body. Clean up the mind.

As you can read, I’m not talking about the details of what I did to heal. I haven’t mentioned any foods, herbs, protocols, supplements, exercises, meditations or anything. That is the challenge we all face.

The people who I have met who have healed have all got one thing in common. They have activated their inner power, their inner guidance system. They have taken massive action to heal. Of course it doesn’t always lead to healing in the way we understand it. Some people heal their hearts but lose their bodies. There is no rule that says if we do this action we will get this return. Life is mysterious and we really have no idea what is happening. All we can do is love ourselves and the world as much as possible, heal our wounds, our bodies and our minds and leave the rest to God.

That is what I did.

If you are on this journey I apologize for not offering you anything that feels definite but I always hope this gives you cause for optimism and encouragement. The healing journey was the greatest experience of my life. It helped me, no it forced me, to confront myself, let go of old grievances, heal my wounded heart and mind, change addictive patterns and come into the full bloom of my being. I have become very grateful to what happened, and even though it was not something I would have chosen, by embracing the journey and the experience I allowed it to heal through the power of divine intelligence.

Human beings are extraordinary and our capacity far outreaches our current knowledge or belief systems. Stretch your beliefs, stretch your imagination, stretch your actions and sure as heck something will happen.

Four powerful steps I took.

1. I supported my body in the healing journey. I didn’t suppress symptoms. I navigated them.
2. I took massive action to learn about my experience and apply my learning.
3. I healed my toxic thoughts and beliefs through meditations, visualization, therapists and healers.
4. I developed a deeper trust and resolve and power.
5. I NEVER gave up.

With great love Kavi