What Place Does HOPE Have in Healing

We can live with hope, and avoid despair, if we learn to surrender our attachment to what we think our health outcome should be, and instead be present to the healing journey as it unfolds  –  Joanna Garritano

I had a long conversation about health with someone yesterday. He had health issues and I told him of my journey, the short version, but it did include the bit about my diagnosis results and the prognosis handed to me by the consultant in a London Hospital. I go into detail about this encounter in my book http://a.co/duWS3Lu but suffice to say it was a pivotal moment in my journey.

For your benefit, this is a short description. The consultant was aloof and, dare I say it, arrogant. That was my feeling, subjectively of course. He sat in front of me and said 3 things.
1. What you have (Inflammatory Bowel Disease) is incurable.
2. You will be on medication for life.
3. You may well have to have some, or all, of your colon removed.

When I questioned him he added a 4th blow.

4. There was nothing you can do, no diet would help, no natural medicine would work, nothing.

Honestly, it makes my blood boil right now just thinking about it.

It makes my blood boil because he was WRONG, and because many people who are not as feisty, rebellious, or informed, as I am (and was even then), may well believe him, throw themselves into his hands and GIVE UP ALL HOPE.

That makes me furious.  Because I seriously don’t believe it to be true. And I am living proof of it.

12 years since that diagnosis and prognosis and I never took ANY medication for it. I have NO SYMPTOMS of IBD at all, no ulcerations, no blood, no mucus, and when I’m tested there are no signs of inflammation. So, as we like to say these days.

What!

Sorry to be dramatic and animated but I think you can understand how it feels to me.

I could have had my colon removed, for no good reason. I could have started taking steroids, anti inflammatories etc etc and been dependent on them for the rest of my life..And so on. It could have been the end of me. As it turns out it was actually the beginning of a long and deeply transformative journey.

When I reflected on this experience I realized why I was so angry. Because what was at stake here was HOPE.

Hope is a fundamental part of healing. Its not some by-product, some throwaway part of the human condition. It is an integral part of us.

I don’t think you can heal without hope. Hope creates an energy that drives or pulls us forward. If you take hope away you don’t, in the case of illness, create acceptance, you create resignation and despair. You cannot heal or transform if resignation or despair are the dominant energies in your system. We are not mechanical robots, we are subtle, complex, mysterious life forms that have unique and powerful abilities to change things simply through the power of our beliefs, our attention, and our consciousness itself. 

We are not mechanical robots, we are subtle, complex, mysterious life forms that have unique and powerful abilities to change things simply through the power of our beliefs, our attention, and our consciousness itself. 

Whatever positive feelings and emotions you can muster in the face of illness are welcome. Be they joy, laughter, hope, love, or peace, they all help by flooding the body with helpful and healing hormones that uplift the whole organism and give it life force.

Conversely whatever negative feelings or emotions flood the body, the opposite may well happen. they depress and downgrade us. They slow things down, they deflate us and allow for negativity to flood the body.

If you sit for a moment and consider this, feel the energy of joy, love and laughter and how they FEEL in your body, and then you consciously consider despair or resignation and how it feels in the body you would have to agree with me. They are very different. So hope is  a valuable part of the healing process. 

BUT BE CAUTIOUS. Remember the words at the start of this blog.

“We can live with hope, and avoid despair, if we learn to surrender our attachment to what we think our health outcome should be, and instead be present to the healing journey as it unfolds.”

Surrendering attachment to the way we THINK it should look, or the way we want it to look, is so important. I really got this key point somewhere down the path. I actually had a profound moment  during a very dark period when I fell into despair. I was tormented and suffering physically, I had no idea what was going to happen and I was at the end of my tether. I walked into some local woods by myself and lay down among the leaves and fell into what felt like a deep well. I desperately wanted an end to my suffering, mainly from my emotional and mental suffering.

I then found myself speaking to God…whatever that means..And I said, “God, I no longer care whether you take my physical body or not, I hand that over to you, but I want love in my heart, and I want an end to my trauma, to my anger and to my emotional pain. I want some peace.”

It was as though I had realized that, although ultimately I had no power over whether my physical body would heal or not, I DID have power to decide whether to let go of my emotional baggage once and for all, willingly.

And something happened that day, and it has always been with me. What happened was, by just being willing to die but keeping my heart open, I surrendered attachment to outcome. That’s the quote at the top of this blog. To live with hope but surrender attachment to the outcome we think we want. I did that, and it created FREEDOM for me. It released so much healing energy in me it really contributed to my long term recovery and subsequent health.

The truth is, when we get ill, or even when we don’t get ill, we don’t know whether we will live longer or shorter time, or whether we will recover or not. But we can fix our broken hearts, our resentments and grievances, and we can do that now, and now and now. 

Hope, in this context, is a beautiful energy, a powerful energy, and thus a healing one.

If anyone tries to steal your hope away and can’t replace it with something better, turn away and run. Don’t believe them. While you are alive there is some hope.
When its chronic illness and not acute, there is hope.
When you, or they, don’t really know what it is, there is hope.
Act on that hope without fixed attachment to how it should look, and bring all your vibrant intelligence, wisdom and power to take whatever action ‘feels’ right.

Choose ‘hope without attachment,’ over ‘resignation without any power.’

Thanks for reading!

References:
http://joannagarritano.com/impermanence-hope-and-healing/#comment-4330

 

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Dig Deep on the Mysterious Path of Healing

If you have chosen the path of natural healing, for whatever reason, and you have found yourself stumbling in the dark, getting lost, going up blind alleys, being scared, or being disappointed, thinking you have found an answer only to be foiled, I have some news for that will challenge you and support you.

That is how it is, both in healing the body AND in transformation. 

Welcome to the mysterious world, the real world, the natural world. I know its frustrating and confusing and I know most of us want our answers to be straightforward and logical, because thats the world we have grown up in, but you are entering a different world now, and it doesn’t work the same.

Science, society, doctors, the whole shebang, would have us all believe its all scientific and even superficial. We so desperately want life to be straightforward. But here is the thing.

The basic model upon which all this thinking is based, IS A FLAWED WORLD VIEW. Yup. It is, sadly, a world view that has divorced itself from the natural movement of life, from nature itself. And I am delighted and sorry to tell them (and you) that the human being is still NATURAL. whether we like it or not. 

We have been heavily socialized, and industrialized and modernized, for only the last 100-200 years. For the previous thousands, even millions, of years, we have had to adapt to nature. Add to that truth the fact that we are highly complex beings who have emotions, hormones that relate to emotions, immune systems that relate to our thoughts and feelings, and nervous systems that are super conductor highways of vast intelligence, AND we have a profound spiritual side that connects us to the divine, and you have a seriously deep and complex person!

So cut yourself some slack and start digging. Dig deep, deep, deep. Dig into the roots of who you are, where you come from, what you have inherited and your entire belief system. Find out where you turned away from love because of fear, when you were young, and heal that wound. Search for all your old grievances and vengeance and commit yourself to releasing yourself from the prison. You wont heal or transform until you let go and really love yourself fully.

You have to dig to heal. When the tree is suffering, you can try and fix the branches, the leaves, or even the trunk, but you probably wont see much difference. But if you attend to the roots and get them nourished and flowing, pretty soon the leaves, the trunk, and the branches are going to grow strong and healthy. Whats the difference between us and the tree?

Nothing, except our beliefs systems. It is our belief systems that stand in our way. Don’t be a victim of a belief system that doesn’t serve you. Find one that serves you, or better still, go so deep into consciousness that you transcend belief systems altogether, and then you are free to play and dance and feel love and joy.

The one who has transcended his own belief system is free, and at peace with himself and the world.

Check out this HEALING HASHIMOTOS SUMMIT COMING UP IN NOVEMBER

Buck the System and Find Your Own Way

Haggard in 2005

Did you know I got very sick in 2005 and was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, and given a prognosis of medication for life, an incurable illness and probably surgery to remove my colon?
It was pretty serious, as were my symptoms.
None of the things they told me that day came true.
I took ABSOLUTELY NO MEDICATION from that day to this, for that disease. None, nada.
I have had NO SYMPTOMS of UC for a few years. I don’t care whether that constitutes a ‘cure’ or not. It’s gone.
As for the ‘surgery to remove my colon.’ WTF?
I am 58 years old. If I had believed all they told me and not undertaken my own research, inquiry and attempts to heal (which took a long long time and much dedication) I would have been medicated up to the eye balls with steroid and anti inflammatories immediately and that would have put all sorts of pressure on a system that was already under pressure. I would have gotten weaker and sicker, and NEVER HEALED. Thus I would probably have had my colon removed .
I walked out of the hospital and decided to find my own way. I know thats pretty scary and wild, but thats what I did and it led me to my own power and authority.
And my healing.
That makes me a warrior. 

Now, sometimes you have just got to go with the medical model, and take great advice from those who know more than you do. But honestly, looking at the whole thing from my perspective after this long journey, I would say that most people have given over way too much authority and power and influence to a system that DOES NOT have healing as its core principle. If you really want healing, whatever that might mean to you, I am afraid that at some point you will have to buck the system and find your own way.

That’s the way it is. Bucking the system means you will have to take deeper and more intense responsibility for what is happening in your body/mind system. It will inevitably bring you face to face with yourself, your wounds, traumas, fears, hurts, angers and grievances. It will bring up your stuff on emotional and means levels, and thats the transformative power of it.

If you can grow into that, take responsibility, become wiser and more knowledgeable, find healers and alternative professionals who will support you and guide, and resolve the energetic stuckness that underpins all physical issues, you are very likely to heal, to grow, to transform in ways that are unimaginable.

Or you can just carry on.

I chose to buck the system. It never worked for me except for diagnosis and testing, even then I have my doubts. It didn’t offer me the hope or possibility I needed. That had to come from me. It’s in everyone, it’s in you.

Thanks for reading!

Cellular Health and Spiritual Wellbeing, The Connection

A couple of inspiring videos for you:

These are excerpts from interviews I did a few years ago. They are inspirational invitations to go deeper into your holistic experience – for many reasons.

Your health matters, to yourself obviously, but it also matters to the collective whole. It is connected to our evolution as a global body. And the epidemic of illness currently circling our planet is a sign of illness on the core level.

Here is why both you and I are being called to take greater responsibility.

Hate, war, fear, violence are all illness that stem from the deepest cellular, and mental, and spiritual, imbalance.
But so do peace, calmness, groundedness and right action based in loving kindness.

Breathing Under Water, Embracing Difficult Emotions – New Podcast

I am delighted to say my Holistic Podcasts are back!
This one is, I believe, one of my best and most useful to date.
I am covering deep ground here, and I just know it is valuable, whatever your state of health, illness, or mental and emotional situation. 

WE ARE IN SUCH STRESSFUL AND CONFUSING TIMES.

It is easy to get lost in this world. What is true and what is false?
What to believe in?
Everything is mixed up and here is the thing.

The man, or woman, who does not know themselves and live by holistic principles in every day life, is extremely vulnerable to being swept up in the drama, prone to addictions and dysfunctional lifestyle choices.”

We simply have to dive in deep so we can rise high.

Inner mastery creates change, not disembodied theoretical spirituality.
Spirituality is only worthwhile when it is lived in the body. And that journey brings it into everyday reality, which in turn makes it very powerful.
When it is lived.
Holistic Intelligence is not optional in our world. It is a necessity to Transform Society. It IS essential for evolution.
Holism is the practical arm of non duality.

In this podcast I return to discussing the body, emotions, mind and spirit. This is a passionate call to wake up and take responsibility for your inner mastery NOW!

I look around, and have done now in each country I have been to, and I see the same thing everywhere. ‘Normal’ life IS deeply unconscious. I am sorry to say this but its the truth. Most people do not have much awareness of who they are or what they are doing or what is going on. It is disturbing. Don’t let it happen to you.”

Thats what my podcasts are all about.
Here it is on Soundcloud.

And here is the link to iTunes.

Thanks for reading!

A request for support to get thoroughly medically tested

Help me return to this

Help me return to this

Friends of my blog, some of you may know and most don’t know but this year I have experienced the most incredible skin problems, from a full body peeling rash in which my arms and legs swelled up, to some extremely painful weals that appeared on my legs, and are still around…

I’m here in California and have no insurance, and now I simply have to get thoroughly tested to find out and address what the heck is going on. I live very very healthy, I have detoxified to the max, I healed my Ulcerative Colitis, I am emotionally and mentally grounded and clear, and yet something is still not right.

I NEED YOUR HELP. If I can raise some money I can get properly tested at a good testing centre here in California.I do not have the money..If you helped by even a small amount I would be so grateful…I am  here to do good work uplifting others and helping transform the world from its present state of breakdown…But its so much harder when my own vehicle is suffering…

PLEASE CHECK OUT MY ‘You Caring’ site and consider this…Its  rare that I make this request but needs must..Thank you so much for reading…
The link: https://www.youcaring.com/kavi-jezzie-hockaday-661853

Or click the picture below.

Click the Picture to find out more.

Click the Picture to find out more.

Here are some of the pictures of what Ive been through. I wont show any more, its not fair to anyone..
IMG_3519IMG_3521 IMG_3520 2 IMG_3522 IMG_3523

 

Holistic Investigator For Hire

14c6aa_d9fc38d52abd48e083cf6f37a1217addI will help you get to the psycho/physical/spiritual root cause of your current situation, whatever it is.

That is my speciality. 

Call me a Holistic Investigator. I make connections across the apparent separate areas of your life and join the dots. 

  • You get to understand where the past wounds and retractions have become embedded in your lifestyle, hidden but nonetheless very powerful.
  • You get to see what your body has held onto and why it’s sending you the messages you are getting.
  • You get to understand yourself on a whole new, holistic, level.

At first these revelations can be daunting. But they are invaluable to any healing and transformation.

No, THEY ARE ESSENTIAL.

If you are looking for why this is happening, seeking to understand on a deeper level so you can take wiser action from a more awakened and conscious perspective, get in touch and book a session.

When I look around at people, and when I reflect on how I used to be before I transformed, what I see mostly is deep ignorance. I don’t mean that in a judgmental way, but in the sense that people just do not know how connected everything is. People don’t know because they haven’t been shown, because there haven’t been enough wise men or women to show them what to look for and where to look. And if they don’t know they can’t act from wisdom.

We live in a paradigm of separation, where everything inside and everything outside appears to be separated from, and independent of, everything else. Why does this matter?

Because when it comes to health and wellbeing, it’s easy to brush aside or diminish the effect the past has had on the present, its easy to brush aside the impact your mind and your beliefs have on your choices and actions.

But when you understand and see how everything you have ever done, thought, buried and denied still lives you, and how intelligent your inner world is, it opens up a whole new vista which brings energy, hope, and potential healing.

ACTIVATING POTENTIAL.

Healing is all about activating potential. To my mind we are often in a ‘quantum state,’ which means a state of possibility. A look into the quantum world reveals that, until what we call reality, manifests, almost anything can happen. And that reality is entangled with the observer, almost dependent on the observer. The truth is that reality is a total mystery, and how it comes into this dimension is an even greater mystery. You are the observed and the observer. And that means it matters what you believe, and the more wisdom you have the more powerful your beliefs will be in favour of healing.

I am convinced that, at least on the level of wellbeing, illness and health, activating potential is inherently connected to our mind, and therefore our beliefs.

maxresdefaultIn fact, what if we are always in a state of quantum possibility? Without wishing to get too far out, I feel this is almost somewhere near the truth. We are closer to light beings than we know. Our physical experience is so defined by our conditioning, our inherited DNA and inherited beliefs over hundreds of generations that we have shifted away from our highest potential.  But maybe there are some things that happen that point us to greater possibilities for ourselves.
For example.

What are miracles other than manifestations of a reality that differs from our normal beliefs?
What are placebo effects?
How can seemingly impossible human feats take place that defy science?

I cannot begin to describe how interconnected everything is to everything else and how important it is to know this in our own lives. But it doesn’t have to drive us crazy. This wisdom is designed to liberate us from ignorance. That is my purpose. Rather like one of my favourite saying from the Greek Wisdom teachers, ‘Know Thyself, Heal Thyself.’

That is why being a Holistic Investigator is unusual. It’s not something you can learn in books alone. It is a blend of life experience and research, transformation and epiphany. It is the path of wisdom and maturity. I would love to teach it as a course. What do you think?

If you need my services, or you know someone else who does, please pass this on or get in touch.Thanks for reading!
Kavi Portrait 2 copy