Reactivity in Auto Immune Conditions and Inflammation

Please do not take this as scientific proof. If you are looking for modern science you probably wont find it here. This blog and website is only about ideas that might be possible.

As I always say in my blogs and posts, find out for yourself what is true. Believe nothing unless you truly believe it deeply inside. And if you don’t know, be ok with not knowing and make your inquiry into healthy living and illness come from an unknown perspective.

Basically, develop discernment and inner wisdom, it will serve you for life and help others who also don’t know.

My conversations are speculative and holistic. I’m trying to connect dots that medical science doesn’t want to, or can’t, or won’t, connect. Mainly that means exploring the connection between matter and thought, or body and mind you might say.

I want to look at patterns, beliefs, language, energy fields, that sort of thing. I truly believe we only have a small bit of the puzzle of being human. Most of the rest of the puzzle will not be found in science or conventional medicine.

But the puzzle and the mystery is where the exciting stuff is. That’s where I like to dig around. I am an investigator and explorer.

So I have been contemplating the nature of auto immune conditions, described by conventional medicine as ‘self attacking self,’ and decided to talk a little about how our emotional mental ‘reactivity’ to life, thought and situations may play a very big part in perpetuating the suffering of self attack.

The key here is to understand why reactivity, particularly over-reactivity, is happening on the mental, emotional level, and to attempt to ease it down and relax it. In my world awareness and understanding is fundamental in the healing.

Reactivity tends to come from fear. That fear can be fear of danger, fear of lack of safety, threat to life, violence or extreme vulnerability. Fear is an existential issue we all have somewhere deep within. People with trauma, childhood wounds, acute sensitivity (sometimes from birth trauma) and unstable childhoods are prone to this fear more than most. This fear is visceral, it’s not simply emotional or mental. It becomes physical, make no mistake. And that physicality we now know (through science and biology) can affect our gut microbiome, digestive process, gut permeability, ‘fight or flight’ mechanism, and adrenal glands, as well as the whole body. Every physical effect I have just stated impacts the immune system.

The deeper trouble with this is that it sets up a chronic pattern that may lock us in for life. If these things are happening in childhood and youth we learn them as survival mechanisms and repeat them every time something real OR IMAGINED reminds us of the old trauma. It doesn’t have to be a real threat, it can just be the thought of it or something similar. In fact much of this reactivity will happen IN ANTICIPATION of trouble THAT ACTUALLY DOESN’T HAPPEN.

This has been one of my ongoing life stories revealed to me over the years through various body work therapies, deep inner exploration and more recently chiropractic testing. I developed a secret inner part of me that was always alert to danger, always on the look out and hyper vigilant, whether I was asleep or not. The consequences of this are serious and disturbing, both physically and mentally. Physically it means being always in reactivity mode and high alert, and never able to get into deep restful delta sleep where healing and renewal comes from.

It means immune system and nervous system are on constant alert to danger. It began in my early teens during my parents slide into acrimonious divorce and my slide into ‘out of control’ drug taking chaos. It has lasted a lifetime (the effect not the drugs!), and been mostly hidden from view but had massive repercussions on my relationships, purpose in life and most important on my physical health. Specifically on my immune health, gut health, and now thyroid health. It also resulted in addiction problems.

So what does this say?

Well I actually see this reactivity, this over active ‘fight or flight’ mechanism, at play in many people I work with, and almost always with those who experience some form of auto immunity. And it can disguise itself in many ways. Being over critical of self or others is one way, being self hating (remember the ‘self attacking self’ phrase at the beginning of this article?), being extremely resentful, being highly anxious, fearful, angry or depressed are all permutations of the same thing, reactivity.

This blog piece is just the beginning of a much bigger conversation about mind and body and trauma, and about how the immune system gets over activated when we are young.

If we accept that reactivity might be an issue both physically and emotionally it gives us knowledge and insight, and puts us in a greater position to be able to take action.

What action? I am going to discuss this next time.

I would love to hear from you what you think, as I really don’t have all the answers, but thousands of questions that I love exploring.

And the next piece I think will be how to turn our unhealthy reactivity to a healthy and calm responsiveness so we can maintain calm in our inner world.

Thank you so much for reading, and please please comment and add something to the conversation. And share this is you feel moved to.

Advertisements

Auto Immune Causes – The Cat and Mouse Game – A Personal Tale

Some of you may know over the years I have been through many diagnoses ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous, but have suspected Thyroid problems for a while now. Hashimotos is an auto immune experience, and I have been through gut related auto immune in the form of colitis, so I carry a tendency and possibly a lingering causal issue.

I now have some definitive test results that reveal I am producing antibodies which means there is a problem with the thyroid and what might be called ‘an auto immune’ condition.

I now have something to work on. But honestly this area is a minefield of information and red herrings, false flags and holistic mystery.

Getting tested is important, but tests are so damn expensive, particularly when there are a myriad of tests.

Finding a professional, either a decent doctor or a functional doctor or a knowledgeable naturopath is very expensive and out of my range, so i’m in the thick of it with trying to unravel it for myself as much as possible.

Luckily I am healthy, or at least healthy enough to mitigate some of the symptoms and effects.

But thats not enough when there is attrition of the gland and body going on. I have to dig even deeper and find some causal factor.

Could be Epstein Barr virus.
Could be heavy metal.
Could be electro smog.
Could be the years of toxic drug overload.
Could be a genetic component.
Could be years of stress I carried.
Could be low testosterone.

You see the problem?

It is something of an anomaly to have this..I am actually super healthy on so many levels, and all indications are it just shouldn’t be so. So the question that must always be asked and pursued is WHY?

What is causing this reactivity in the cellular body? Over the years as I have healed my gut the inflammation markers have come down and down until now there is no sign of inflammation.

That doesn’t necessarily mean there is one. But something is in the system, or some imbalance in the system, that is creating this disturbance. It might be low grade infection (ala ‘Medical Medium’ suggestion that Epstein Barr virus is more at play in Hashimotos and auto immunity than we imagine. It could simply be years of toxic assault, mercury (now gone) and stress (which I carried for many years) and of course electro smog and all its joys..

And of course Im now 59 so the body is hanging and getting older, systems getting weaker, testosterone going down, and so on and so forth.

So the investigation continues, meanwhile I truly believe that one can at least offset damage and harm by living as though one were vibrantly well, consciously choosing healthy foods and exercise and attending to the mind and emotion. xx

Thats where I’m at. I am almost excited to have found out something definite. It gives me a direction to move in.

Thanks for reading!

My recent results.

The Need To Heal Old Wounds

From my personal experience, my research and coaching lots of clients I really have concluded this one simple yet profound truth:

When we deny old emotions and/or present difficult feelings we put an increased stress on our body, on our nervous system, immune system, and important organs like heart and thyroid, and our brain. Whether that actually ’causes’ illness or not is academic, because the bottom line is it really doesn’t help.

My holistic principle is to understand that which puts extra tax and burden on a delicate and finely balanced system (the human organism) is ultimately destructive, and will assist in early degradation of healthy life. As we age it gets harder and harder to bounce back and regenerate. Which means that as we get older we must get wiser and get MORE relaxed and more FREE of old burdens. Old burdens will rigidify us physically, mentally and spiritually unless we consciously release them. They might even kill us.

This point is not as nebulous or subtle as you may think. The river is meant to flow. If it doesn’t flow it stagnates. If it stagnates it becomes toxic and allows disease to happen. It is exactly the same with us. Energy is meant to flow through us. Old emotions and toxic thoughts impede this flow and become somehow ‘trapped’ in our cellular body. The same stagnation can happen. 

Thus detoxification is useful on the physical level AND the emotional energetic level. This proposition might annoy some people and even be dismissed as new age but I have experienced it and see it everywhere, and it is a self evident truth.

In my own healing journey, healing a huge auto immune condition (inflammatory bowel disease) it really wasn’t long in my detoxification process that I was propelled into the fury and powerful world of my pent up, hot, acidic and generally volatile emotions, the ones that I had buried and denied for years and years since the traumatic break up of my parents when I was 16 years old. I held on to the trauma for decades but could never access the pain and therefore never receive any healing. Make no mistake, trauma in the body, just because its not present in everyday experience, is powerful and dangerous. It’s not inert, meaning it doesn’t just sit there in a neutral state doing nothing. 

No, it has a negative power. It influences decisions, it can drive addictions and lifestyle choices. It ramps up stress response into hot stuff like rage or scary stuff like fear and anxiety. It may play a huge part in depression. It creates havoc with the nervous system and immune system, both of which have a DIRECT effect on health. It is known, for example, that stress has a direct impact on the gut micro biome, reducing healthy gut flora and allowing the ‘bad guys’ to gain the upper hand.

I truly believe that my healing had plateaued until I dived into my emotions. And then it catapulted into an increase in healing. It’s not the magic bullet but it is incredibly powerful.

I would go as far as to say you can’t truly heal without it.

If you are on the same journey that took me over 10 years, please listen. Do the emotional stuff. Find a way, find a resource. Follow your instinct for what your body wants, listen to your own inner voice, and get guidance from others who know this territory, and then fully embrace your healing. Even when it is difficult because dragging old stuff up hurts, still press on. It is far better that you meet the pain, and it hurts, and you release it, than you don’t meet it and it kills you.

I wish you love and blessings on your path.

Thanks for reading!

 

Buck the System and Find Your Own Way

Haggard in 2005

Did you know I got very sick in 2005 and was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, and given a prognosis of medication for life, an incurable illness and probably surgery to remove my colon?
It was pretty serious, as were my symptoms.
None of the things they told me that day came true.
I took ABSOLUTELY NO MEDICATION from that day to this, for that disease. None, nada.
I have had NO SYMPTOMS of UC for a few years. I don’t care whether that constitutes a ‘cure’ or not. It’s gone.
As for the ‘surgery to remove my colon.’ WTF?
I am 58 years old. If I had believed all they told me and not undertaken my own research, inquiry and attempts to heal (which took a long long time and much dedication) I would have been medicated up to the eye balls with steroid and anti inflammatories immediately and that would have put all sorts of pressure on a system that was already under pressure. I would have gotten weaker and sicker, and NEVER HEALED. Thus I would probably have had my colon removed .
I walked out of the hospital and decided to find my own way. I know thats pretty scary and wild, but thats what I did and it led me to my own power and authority.
And my healing.
That makes me a warrior. 

Now, sometimes you have just got to go with the medical model, and take great advice from those who know more than you do. But honestly, looking at the whole thing from my perspective after this long journey, I would say that most people have given over way too much authority and power and influence to a system that DOES NOT have healing as its core principle. If you really want healing, whatever that might mean to you, I am afraid that at some point you will have to buck the system and find your own way.

That’s the way it is. Bucking the system means you will have to take deeper and more intense responsibility for what is happening in your body/mind system. It will inevitably bring you face to face with yourself, your wounds, traumas, fears, hurts, angers and grievances. It will bring up your stuff on emotional and means levels, and thats the transformative power of it.

If you can grow into that, take responsibility, become wiser and more knowledgeable, find healers and alternative professionals who will support you and guide, and resolve the energetic stuckness that underpins all physical issues, you are very likely to heal, to grow, to transform in ways that are unimaginable.

Or you can just carry on.

I chose to buck the system. It never worked for me except for diagnosis and testing, even then I have my doubts. It didn’t offer me the hope or possibility I needed. That had to come from me. It’s in everyone, it’s in you.

Thanks for reading!

AUTO IMMUNE ISSUES: The Sacred Boundary of Self Violated

ALL AUTO IMMUNE PEOPLE: The Sacred Boundary of Self:

If you have an auto immune condition, please look beyond the physical level for your healing. You probably wont heal unless you do.
You can look for the magic bullet that cures you, you wont find it.
You can search the physical plane, the world of one cause for the effect, but you wont find it.
You can stay locked in this land of separation, but it wont heal you.

NO…

You must look beyond the linear and dive into the murky world, the world of emotion, mind, spirit, into beliefs and wounds.
It is not optional.

An auto immune condition means that the sacred boundary of self has been breached, physically in the gut wall and thus the immune system, and energetically and metaphorically in the sense of self we carry from birth to death.

You as a self, a small self, have a boundary that protects you and keeps you safe. It is an entirely natural function that happens almost unconsciously when things are flowing and harmonious in ones life.

BUT…Trauma, wounding, abuse, shock and terror, fear and stress when experienced in childhood or youth, CAN set the pre-conditions for subsequent auto immune conditions.
They don’t necessarily cause it, but they can participate in it to a great degree. They are a part of the condition.

For those who are experiencing auto immune, you simply must look into this area of your life. It really matters.

And this comes from personal experience and from working with other people.
Don’t take my word for it. Inquire within. Explore this idea for yourself, truthfully and deeply.

Autoimmune Summit – Essential For All Caught in the Cycle of Autoimmunity!

I just had to share this with you. More and more information is coming to light about the mysterious experience we call ‘autoimmunity.’ I have suffered from this diagnosis twice, once with the inflammatory bowel disease diagnosis and more recently with the ‘hashimotos.’

I am very interested in learning how to meet these ailments head on. They can be complex and experts help us get clear. This summit is free online  January 30 – February 6, 2017.
Bookmark this date!

SUBJECT: Break the cycle of autoimmune pain!

Autoimmune diseases and the physical, chemical and emotional pain they create impacts millions around the world. The primary way doctors treat these diseases is to prescribe immune suppressing drugs. Unfortunately, this approach has failed to achieve a meaningful outcome and has created an even greater health crisis–what Dr. Peter Osborne calls “The Prescription Pain Trap”–which you will learn more about during this important event.

WHY ATTEND?
Dr. Osborne created The Autoimmune Revolution to help you prevent and reverse autoimmune pain. It’s time to achieve greater health and improved happiness so you can break the cycle of pain and start living again!

Register for FREE now at the following link:
Autoimmune Summit – CLICK HERE

During The Autoimmune Revolution, you’ll learn about:
Conquering chronic pain and autoimmune conditions
The connection between autoimmune diseases, diet and lifestyle choices
6 diet and behavior changes you need to make to radically improve health
Breaking the cycle of medications and dependency on allopathic treatments

The Autoimmune Revolution is online and free from January 30 – February 6, 2017!

Register for FREE at the following link today:
Autoimmune Summit – CLICK HERE

I’ll see you at the summit!

The Autoimmune Revolution

STRESS and its effect on the body systems – My Personal Revelation!

I am going to share something with you today. And its going to be about stress. And its dramatic effect on the body when it is allowed to run rampant and un-dealt with.

I would like to say this is difficult for me to admit to, but quite honestly if it serves you or anyone else I feel that my experience will not have been in vain. So please, share this post if you know someone who may benefit from it.

Some of you may know I am now in America with my beautiful wife, author and teacher Amoda Maa Jeevan. We have been here for over two weeks, in California. It has been a long and, at times, very difficult journey to get here. We are here on a long visa as it is our intention to live here long term. We left here in December 2015, and from then till now we have been nomadic, homeless, moving around, AND Amoda has been applying for the visa AND writing her new book. Both of those things have been seriously hard core tasks, but to achieve them successfully over our days, weeks and months of nomadic, erratic living, was a massive undertaking. She is an amazing human being!

IMG_3519Here is the confession. I have carried the experience, the ups and downs, the challenges, stresses, fears and difficulties not so well. My body tells the story of my life. Since the days of my Ulcerative Colitis, auto immune issue, I have had a very sensitive relationship with my physical body. It reveals everything to me, and mirrors all my emotional and mental turbulence and anxiety. I cannot hide it from my body. Some people can, they just don’t feel it in their body. I DO! You might as well, some folks do and thats a gift and a burden.

Have I shared with you about my ongoing rash this year? Oh it has been dreadful, and very very full on. Whole body rash, skin flaking, swollen arms, welts, inflammation, the whole works. It has been thought of, at various times, as urticaria, psoriasis, fungus, bacterial infection, mercury poisoning, tropical infection, and so on. Yet it has been elusive.

Since we got here I have seen a doctor, who has taken blood and I get results next week.

HERE IS THE REASON FOR THIS BLOG.

I got a referral to a Dermatologist, who I saw yesterday. I stripped down and showed him my skin, he prodded and peered, asked a load of questions and then I expected him to agree with the doctor that it was ring worm and fungal infection.

NO.’ He said, “It’s not any of that.”

“It looks like it has multiple causes that have arisen as this rash, certainly your immune system is a big factor as it is still (and forever will be) damaged with the auto immune you have carried. But the other factor is STRESS.

STRESS!!! Not just Stress!

And it really struck me in that moment how powerful STRESS, ANXIETY AND FEAR are on the physical body systems.

Immune system and nervous system, they are the two main systems that are affected by mind and emotions. And they impact every area of health. If you are one of those people who feel it all in their bodies, you have a gift and a burden. The gift is all your mental and emotional burdens, stresses and traumas are revealed to you dramatically and viscerally, and thats your invitation to deal with them consciously. The burden is that it hurts and you can get away with nothing. It gets tiring having a sensitive body. 

It gets REAL TIRING! My answer is surrender and acceptance and a refusal to medicate unless I absolutely bottom line have to, and settle for nothing, never accept a diagnosis unless it feels 100% spot on, and ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL COMPONENT. 

kavi-arms

Taken two days ago – I am getting better, the rash is clearing!

You see, we all want these problems to be caused by something outside ourselves. That makes it easier to deal with. I have dealt with so much over the years, I mean I cannot begin to tell you what I have dealt with, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically, WOW! And I guess I thought I had reached some kind of level where I was beyond it.
But this last year I admit I have felt the fears in my body, I have felt the anxiety about the future in my body.
I have felt the sudden pit of fear in my body.
I have felt the fateful feeling of foreboding in my body.
I have felt deep feelings of ancient abandonment in my body, and I have felt childhood traumas and existential troubles in my body.

Never, never, never underestimate the power of the mind over the body. Body will ultimately surrender to mind, thats the bottom line. Mind is, to a certain extent, more powerful than the body, until the body dies.

And I have learned that this is my life’s lesson. I am here to learn how to relax fully regardless of outer circumstance, regardless of what is happening. I am here to learn to be ok with life AS IT IS. That is a life path.

So we each need to find our life’s lesson. It’s all about our spiritual/existential/soul/karma and how it manifests. What are we here to learn?

What are you here to learn? If you have an issue with the physical form, if any of what I’ve said resonates with you, look inside, investigate and inquire.

It helps to know, it brings some relief to one’s personal suffering and gives a greater context for any illness.

Thank you for reading!