A Warning About Toxic Emotions – They Kill

I watched my Mother decline and fall over a long period of time.

She was hit by a nasty auto immune condition – Rheumatoid Arthritis. That was on top of the onset of Osteo Arthritis.
It was savage. It really started in the 1980’s and continued to tear her body apart until she succumbed to the stress of medications and disease in 2002 and left her body.

She had two hip replacements, and had a bad reaction to one of them and developed an internal ulcer that was agony.
I spent many days over the years in and out of hospital visiting her. She wanted to die often, and often was in such pain it was very tough for her, and for me.
I cannot even begin to know how she coped. Her body twisted over the years as it does with RA and it was a sorry sight to behold,  all mangled and bent.

I did my best to encourage her to adopt a healthier lifestyle, but she wouldn’t and couldn’t. Her emotional wounding and trauma was deeply embedded in her body due to my parents very toxic and damaging divorce in the 70s from which she never recovered. She carried this resentment and bitterness until her dying day, unable to process the hurt and the pain and the anger. I think she really felt betrayed by the masculine, and did not have the inner resources to transform her own story or suffering to anything healing.
It was terrible to witness, and awful to feel so helpless to it all.

But slowly as I developed a deeper self knowledge and wisdom I gained some distance and compassion. I realized that my real job was not to try and change her, heal her or even help her.

My job was just to love her. And I did that. For the last two years I practiced just loving her. Just reminding her that she was ok whatever was happening and that love was the only thing that mattered, ever.
And even though there was pain and torment, there was love even in that. I remember just sitting in the front room of her little house holding her deformed hand as she crunched and moaned and grimaced in the pain of the physical and emotional body, and all I could do was say ‘I love you and I’m sorry.’

Eventually her body couldn’t do anything more and I received a call one day to tell me she had died. I was sad and happy. Sad to know the story of her life and how hard it had been, and happy to know that release meant freedom to fly back home.
She taught me so much, and she loved me so much. And I still think about her all the time and wish I could take with her and see her smile and hear her infectious laugh.

Why have I said all this? Because I really want to spread the word, and even shout the word from the rooftops, that old wounds, particularly resentments, bitterness and grievances left un-dealt with and hidden ALWAYS cause a cascade of trouble in the body and will never completely disappear, but will likely return to haunt the bearer in later life.

There is just no getting away from that fact that these emotions, suppressed, are highly dangerous to the health and wellbeing of the bearer, and it is our responsibility to ourselves and our community to deal with them, and support others to do the same.

It is very hard to deal with the pain of the past, but it is even harder to carry it around as a curse and allow it to pollute and poison everything we do, including relationships with other and the world.

Please let my own story be a warning to you and those you love. I myself heed her lesson and made it my mission to heal myself and let go of the past, consciously and truly. And that was one of the greatest acts of healing I have ever done.

Thank you for reading..x

Ancestral Wounds, Holistic Healing and Spiritual Inquiry – New Podcast

Ancestral Wounds, Holistic Healing and Spiritual Inquiry.

A new podcast is available.
This one follows on form last weeks.

These two quotes sum up this weeks episode:

I feel very strongly that I am under the influence of things or questions which were left incomplete and unanswered by my parents and grandparents and more distant ancestors. It often seems as if there were an impersonal karma within a family which is passed on from parents to children. It has always seemed to me that I had to answer questions which fate had posed to my forefathers, and which had not yet been answered, or as if I had to complete, or perhaps continue, things which previous ages had left unfinished.” Carl Jung 

My physician explained that ongoing adversity in childhood leads to a chronic state of “fight, flight or freeze.” Researchers at Yale had recently shown that when inflammatory stress hormones flood a child’s body and brain, they alter the genes that oversee our stress reactivity, re-setting the stress response to “high” for life. This increases the risk of inflammation, which manifests later in cancer, heart disease, and autoimmune diseases like mine.’ Donna Jackson Nakazawa

Everything that happens on the level of form is a call to holistic inquiry.
This podcast dives deeper down the rabbit hole of emotions and the body, ancestral wounds and childhood conditioning.
A powerful message for all those looking for transformation, joy, love, health and freedom.
‘Holistic Wisdom is a Lived and Embodied Spirituality that has its feet planted firmly on the ground and has its roots deep in the mud of our humanity, yet its branches reach to the heavens.
And in between its roots and its branches is the healthy flow of energy.
Its simple, natural and very profound.’
Symptoms, wounds, issues from the past, trouble in relationship, depression, addiction, lostness, anxiety, all auto immune diseases, in fact any chronic condition are ALL pointing us to Holistic Inquiry, the Great Looking Inwards.
We fail to understand this and try and deal with them on the surface, because thats all we know and thats all we are offered by the mainstream medical model.
Matters discussed: The existential meaning of Thyroid Dysfunction and other chronic dis-eases. Ancestral burdens and the negative power of traumatic conditioning.
Fear as a factor in illness.
The wake up call of illness.

And available on iTunes:

 

Breathing Under Water, Embracing Difficult Emotions – New Podcast

I am delighted to say my Holistic Podcasts are back!
This one is, I believe, one of my best and most useful to date.
I am covering deep ground here, and I just know it is valuable, whatever your state of health, illness, or mental and emotional situation. 

WE ARE IN SUCH STRESSFUL AND CONFUSING TIMES.

It is easy to get lost in this world. What is true and what is false?
What to believe in?
Everything is mixed up and here is the thing.

The man, or woman, who does not know themselves and live by holistic principles in every day life, is extremely vulnerable to being swept up in the drama, prone to addictions and dysfunctional lifestyle choices.”

We simply have to dive in deep so we can rise high.

Inner mastery creates change, not disembodied theoretical spirituality.
Spirituality is only worthwhile when it is lived in the body. And that journey brings it into everyday reality, which in turn makes it very powerful.
When it is lived.
Holistic Intelligence is not optional in our world. It is a necessity to Transform Society. It IS essential for evolution.
Holism is the practical arm of non duality.

In this podcast I return to discussing the body, emotions, mind and spirit. This is a passionate call to wake up and take responsibility for your inner mastery NOW!

I look around, and have done now in each country I have been to, and I see the same thing everywhere. ‘Normal’ life IS deeply unconscious. I am sorry to say this but its the truth. Most people do not have much awareness of who they are or what they are doing or what is going on. It is disturbing. Don’t let it happen to you.”

Thats what my podcasts are all about.
Here it is on Soundcloud.

And here is the link to iTunes.

Thanks for reading!

Your Body is a Story You Must Read

Consider this:

Your body is a story. It tells the story of your time here on earth. It contains information about you that, if one could read the ‘body book’ properly, would reveal so much about who you are it would be incredible. 
It contains your experiences, and particularly it has held on to the experiences you couldn’t process effectively at the time they happened. It has held on to them in the muscles and tissues, in your posture and positioning. 
It holds your thoughts about yourself and the world. 
It holds information about your ancestors and where you came from.

Your body is actually a blueprint of your personality. It is a map of YOU.

BUT only the relative, earthbound you.

It doesn’t tell anything about who you are as consciousness. It doesn’t say anything about the timeless, eternal, silence that is your true nature. It can’t. Form cannot explain the formless. 

So there you are, two things in one. That is the quintessential paradox of the human being. Being two things, one of the relative world and one of the absolute world, and each containing and pointing to the other.

Your purpose is to carry both, honour both, and know both. 

How Well Do You Know Your Body?

How Well Do You Know Your Body?

It may seem like an obvious, even stupid, question, but in my experience working with people it is actually a very revealing and provocative one. So let me make some bold statements:

I don’t think a lot of people actually DO know their own bodies very well at all. They think they do but actually they are not very tuned in to what their own body is saying, what messages it is sending, or the bio feedback relationship happening all the time between mind and body.

I also think people are very cut off from their intuition, and intuition itself is located in the gut.

We are living in fast paced, toxic, mind dominated societies that favour caffeine, distraction and urgency, and not relaxation, body centred, natural and harmonious lifestyles.

The amount of addiction, disorder, illness, depression etc etc is a sign that ‘we’ are out of alignment with our selves, and that must also mean with our bodies.

And here is the clincher: A humanity that is out of touch with its own body is undoubtedly going to be out of touch with the earth, because they are one and the same thing.

I see this as a big problem for us all in the west. We just don’t know any more what its like to be in touch. And I certainly don’t just mean men, who have a greater tendency to be cut off from their feelings anyway. I mean all people, all walks of life, all social strata. Everyone. And now we are all disappearing down the rabbit hole of our phones it’s only going to make us more disconnected.

Now here I want to say two things.

  1. Its not a great idea to get too attached to your body, or get too lost in it. Firstly its only a temporary vehicle and its going to go the way of all temporary things and you are going to die.
  2. If you get too lost in it you will become over identified with it and thats going to lead you towards addiction in some way that is not going to make you happy.

The body is, in many ways, a dilemma for us humans. Animals have it much easier than we do. They accept the body they get, they instinctively feed it just enough food to survive and thrive and they don’t get too neurotic over how it looks. They are, by their very nature, body centred. It is all entirely natural.

But we have a choice. And we have an ego that wraps itself around how the body looks and feels. This awareness we have, one of our gifts as conscious beings, is a handicap to easy living when it is affected by damaged conditioning and self worth issues.

So lets cut to the chase of how to go about this relationship.

Firstly, you get to know your own body when you find out who you really are. The body is included in a deep spiritual inquiry. 

The body holds old wounds and traumas. It will hold them forever unless you consciously decide to release them. If you decide to release them you will probably have to find a modality that assists this process. That can be anything from rebirthing to massage, maybe yoga, or dance, or any specific technique that aims to unblock the stuck energy flow in the body. This automatically takes you deeper into your body.

Attending to diet and health, doing some detoxification and cleaning out colon and liver, will help to balance the body mind system and bring you naturally more aligned.

Meditation and getting into nature, watching sunset and sunrise, sitting next to the sea or bids a roaring fire, all help to bring you back into relationship with your own essence, and that means your own body.

Listenting to your body, paying it attention, intuiting it, talking to it, loving it, nurturing it, these are key elements to develop with your body. It will pay great dividends and soften up the whole of you.

The bottom line is: Include your own body in the love you have for things. Don’t exclude your body. Love it with all your heart even though it is not yours and will one day turn to dust. Just love it anyway, with a care and a joy and a freedom that makes it sing and dance and flow.

Thanks for reading!

Help me return to this

Social Media Addiction Faced – Detox The Only Answer

My eyes have fully opened recently to the extent of addiction in myself and society generally. Of course addiction is a problem for most societies, but usually the addiction only holds a small minority captive. This time, however, it appears to have the majority of society held by the addictive mechanism and pretty much completely unaware of.

What is it? Yup, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram – It’s called Social Media only it’s not very social.

check-facebookIt’s a revolution folks, a revolution of the way we react and interact. In the last 10 years the way we do EVERYTHING has changed fundamentally, and that means we have had no real time to adjust either mentally or, more to the point, emotionally. The tsunami of social media interaction has begun to define our lives. And short of a total meltdown of the internet or a collapse of society, the tsunami has only just begun.

Statistics reveal that cell phone use and web use generally increased enormously from 2014. Check this to see what Im talking about!
http://www.internetlivestats.com/watch/internet-users/

Some statistics: Around 40% of the world population has an internet connection today. In 1995, it was less than 1%.
The number of internet users has increased tenfold from 1999 to 2013.
The first billion was reached in 2005. The second billion in 2010. The third billion in 2014.

facebook-addictBut the statistics are one thing. The anecdotal, visual evidence, is more distressing and alarming.

Look around at your friends, your kids, maybe even your parents, look in the malls, or on public transport, and then take a deep and honest look inside yourself and see if you are really any different from any of them. ADDICTION IS NOT ON AND OFF. It’s not a switch that is either up, meaning not addicted, or down, meaning addicted. Oh no. Addiction is all about degrees and measures. Addiction is wrapped up with necessity and habit, with social conditioning and deeply held human issues rooted in our ancestral dna, and stuff about the herd mentality and ancient tribal behaviour demanded by sheer survival.

Check whether this list includes anything you do.
http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/facebook-addiction-signs/

Almost everyone is addicted to something, even if its just in some small way. It may be subtle, or it may be all consuming, but its there. It may not interfere with healthy functioning, but its there, and its something that pulls at us if we don’t do it habitually. It may not be that destructive to our life, well being, relationships, work and so on but there it is.

WISDOM AND ADDICTION ARE LIKE OIL AND WATER.

I think the sooner we recognise that addictive impulse in ourselves and where it lives, in what dark corner it hides, and, most importantly, what purpose is it serving, the more we can understand ourselves and transcend the torment of our addictions. Because the nature of addiction is unconscious and denied. And it ALWAYS serves a purpose, always it offers us the carrot of salvation from our suffering. It always offers us love. But addiction itself is a highly powerful force. Even more than the object of ones addiction is the ADDICTION. It is a mechanism, a highly powerful shadowy mechanism that thrives on darkness and fear.

Because addiction is so closely linked to our basic existential nature it is intertwined with the two base forces of love and fear.

Maybe addiction is the unconscious human answer to separation syndrome. Thats why addiction is essentially a spiritual phenomena.

The answer to addiction is waking up to the truth of who you are. The answer to all addiction is love and inner authority. To overcome addiction, as well as the physical component, one must fall in love with oneself, show up, tell the truth, see where you hide from fear and what you are afraid of, and then chose to love yourself. The answer to addiction is love and connection, but that connection is to yourself and the world.

POWER.

Anything less than your full power released into the world could result in the activation of this addiction mechanism. It may protect you for a while. But it will eat you in the end. It is voracious and hungry.

So let us return to the issue in hand. The modern cultural acceptable addiction. Social media.
Head down, buried in the screen, totally distracted, emotionally dependent on ‘likes’, comments, notifications, increasing friends lists, etc etc we disappear from awareness and presence into the world of the mind through the screen and down the rabbit hole.

We check our phones at least 150 times a day, many of us, so I worked out that on average that means every 6 minutes or so. And it is increasing.

If it affects you, if you keep checking your phone, inbox, social media, even when there is no real reason, then I’m afraid you are in the modern matrix. And the matrix has you.

I know because I have been in the matrix also. I was completely convinced I was acting from real freedom and just exercising my freedoms and really enjoying all my friends and contacts and likes etc. But the truth was that the walls of my prison had changed and got smaller. They built the prison around me while I was distracted by content.

BOILING THE FROG.
6a00d8341c3e6353ef00e551d211f38834-800wiMany of us have been led, innocently, to the pot on the stove and have been boiled, so slowly we have not noticed. These giant social media corporations hire well qualified, highly professional psychologists and marketers to investigate you and me and to work out how to get us to do what they want, willingly and blindly, as though we were free.

They know your habits, your preferences, your likes, dislikes they know how long you do something and they know what you don’t like. Between your phone stats, your Facebook analytics, google and amazon they know you better than you know yourself. You have an online profile that informs social media and they promote and market to accordingly. They feed you what you want, even if you don’t know what you want.

It is that scary. And you don’t even realise, because they have offset their activities with your rewards. Those rewards are (the illusion of) connection, being liked, importance, information, and power.

Don’t buy any of it because its not real.

I quit Facebook and Twitter very recently and I am feeling the effects of the withdrawal. Some parts of life have been rendered meaningless.  Where is the instant gratification of a new like? Where is the surfing new posts to give me some distraction? Where is the relief I get every day, relief from the truth of my own life?

Gone…Facebook shut down and Twitter deactivated. It feels powerful, detoxing and vulnerable….Do it…try it out, inquire, investigate, tell the truth.
And comment here…Its the only place you will find me..

The Matrix has you…..and at some point you have to make a decision..
red_pill_blue_pill-copy3

Time For a Holistic View of Global Events – Suffering From Trumpitis

It has been about 9 days since Trump became President. Those 9 days have shaken everything up. They have brought fear and anger, resistance and violence. It’s not an easy time for people, particularly for those directly on the receiving end of his actions.

Like many other people, I am confused, angry, fearful and totally distracted form my own life. It is as though suddenly the world got much smaller and more dangerous. Is that true? I don’t know but it sure feels kinda unstable right now.

I have watched many of the spiritual ‘leaders’ talk about the situation and gained some relief. Byron Katie brought it all back to this moment, and Gangaji embraced it all but didn’t buy into the drama, but still there is this conflict within, and obviously without.

And now I have begun to embrace the very thing I have been talking about for years, ever since I learned about the true nature of life in all its holistic glory.

I have decided to view this whole thing positively as a Holistic Wake Up call. The human system called society is a whole thing. It is an integrated system from top to bottom, involving all beings whatever they do and however they are.

In exactly the same way that a human body functions with it’s 100 trillion or so cells, societal health and wellbeing ultimately depends on each and every human being.
How those human beings live, thrive, assimilate and eliminate, their state of wellbeing or sickness, and whether they are toxic or not, is the biggest definer of society as a whole.

Really allow that to sink in. That information and insight is incredible and revolutionary. We fail to heed it and understand it because we are caught in the paradigm of separation. We fully believe in separation and have no context for the holistic view.

Yet we see systems everywhere. Everything is a holistic system, integrated and interdependent. Systems only survive if they work in some form of harmony. If they fight they perish and evolution is halted. Harmonious systems are the Evolutionary Impulse. And unless the current system is changed we may be heading for evolutionary termination.

We do not yet apply this intelligence to our own experience and that of our society.

And thus society is sick with a chronic disease. Call it ‘Trumpitis‘ if you like, but whatever is appearing on the surface, although it must be dealt with effectively to minimise its harm, is only a symptom of what trouble lies deeper down.

So the effective way to look at this is holistically. We need to intervene on the acute level to stop the patient, in this case us, dying. That requires urgent action.

BUT, and this is more important, the real work is with each of us. And that work is to increase our own harmonic vibration, to blaze our love and our life force greater than we have ever done. To step up and boldly go where we have never been before. To speak up, to be involved. 

Each cell in your body contributes to your health, or it contributes to your sickness.

And each of us contributes our ‘dis-ease’ to society or our wellbeing. We get to choose.

Society changes from the roots up. What appears at the surface is a reflection of all of us together. That may make you feel powerless or powerful. It makes me feel powerful. I feel empowered.

So what can you, and I, do to change society at this crucial time?

We can become whole. We can become wise and clear. We can become healthful and ‘warrior-like.’ We can stop living from fear and toxicity and live from love and splendour. Of course there may be a point at which action must be taken. But that action must be rooted in wellbeing and love, in silence and spiritual clarity. 

What I am saying is not anti-action, it’s not ‘sticking the spiritual head in the sand.’ I am saying that right action needs to have its roots in holistic wisdom for any real change to be effective. Or it just wont have any power.

We are at that time where evolution is pressing us, squeezing us, driving us to look deeply and seriously at who we really are, what we value, what drives us and how we want to live. Things have to change, and that change is change for each one of us. We have to learn to ‘live it as though our lives depended on it, and others lives depended on it. Because that is the truth.

We cannot separate our own lives from the collective life. They relate directly. There is a cancer raging in the heart of society. Cancer is never healed by pouring more fire on the inflammatory problem. Yes, it has to be contained when it is discovered, but the process of healing cancer is the process of detoxification, nourishment, healing toxic emotions, and the alkalinity of the host. Cancer is healed, when it is healed, because each of the cells in the body returns to its natural healthy state.

So it must be with us. It starts with me. And you. 

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