New PODCAST – Being Authentic in a World of Lies and Falsehood, with a Meditation

Hi! Take a look at my new podcast cover.
What do you think?

I like it and I’m pleased with the direction of these podcasts.

And so here is a new one.
Click on the image to listen on iTunes.

It is all about our authenticity and why it matters.

‘You can’t wait for the world to change before you take off the mask of falseness and live as your authentic self.
What this means is exposing yourself, discovering and meeting all your inner wounds and pain, and opening willingly to that vulnerable part of yourself.
Each time we wear the mask, or coat, of falseness, it causes us pain. And that pain can last a lifetime.
But there is a deep yearning to remove all the falseness and be open, real and free.
It sounds easy but in practice it can be very painful and scary.

This PODCAST is all about that journey to becoming your true and free authentic self.’

It includes a meditation to help bring awareness and presence to your inner world.

Here it is on Soundcloud:

And the link:

Stay tuned for more inspiring holistic podcasts.



Your Body is a Story You Must Read

Consider this:

Your body is a story. It tells the story of your time here on earth. It contains information about you that, if one could read the ‘body book’ properly, would reveal so much about who you are it would be incredible. 
It contains your experiences, and particularly it has held on to the experiences you couldn’t process effectively at the time they happened. It has held on to them in the muscles and tissues, in your posture and positioning. 
It holds your thoughts about yourself and the world. 
It holds information about your ancestors and where you came from.

Your body is actually a blueprint of your personality. It is a map of YOU.

BUT only the relative, earthbound you.

It doesn’t tell anything about who you are as consciousness. It doesn’t say anything about the timeless, eternal, silence that is your true nature. It can’t. Form cannot explain the formless. 

So there you are, two things in one. That is the quintessential paradox of the human being. Being two things, one of the relative world and one of the absolute world, and each containing and pointing to the other.

Your purpose is to carry both, honour both, and know both. 

Innocence and Trust in Your Life.

I am not going to write a long blog post today. I am going to save up the depth of this subject for a podcast I am hoping to do towards the end of the week. I haven’t recorded a podcast for several months due to travelling and illness (and some reluctance) and have been waiting to see if there is a subject I can get my teeth into, something that might really inspire me.

And I may have landed on it. So I’m going to share a little teaser with you to see if it interested you. It is a big subject, but I will dive in anyway.

6359514014498518351990561192_adam-and-eve-expelledIt goes like this. In recent months and years, I have seen in my own life how what I call my ‘fall from the innocence of childhood,’ has shaped and affected the whole of my adult life. When I say shaped and affected it I mean on every level, from my personal relationships to my work, to my very basic relationship with the world itself, authority, power, women, and to my health and lifestyle.
When I drill down into my life I can see how this ‘fall,’ changed everything about my life and I have been trying to heal it ever since.

NOW, here is where this mysterious phrase ‘fall from the innocence of childhood,’ gets interesting. And don’t worry, I will explain what it means soon.
But in recent months of coaching clients, and talking with many people, I have been able to see that it is not just me that has experienced the impact of this ‘fall,’ but many many others. In fact my experience has led me to surmise that most regular people have experienced a ‘fall,’ to some degree or other. It is the majority experience, and endemic in society. In other words, it is everywhere.

Where there is chronic illness, there is usually a ‘fall from innocence,’ and some childhood trauma.
Where there is chronic relationship trouble, there is always some kind of ‘fall from innocence.’
Where there is addiction there is, almost always, a ‘fall from innocence.’
Where there are self worth issues, there is always some loss of innocence.

So let me explain what I mean by this ‘fall from innocence.’

We are all born innocent. We have to be, we arrive from the unknown, cannot talk or express ourselves, in fact we are just a blob of innocent potential. There are, of course, certain intrinsic (and potential) things that lie within us. There are familial traits and certain genetic tendencies, there are (if you believe this) karmic influences from previous lives, and there are the astrological influences that may affect us through our lives. But most of us, mostly, are pretty darn innocent when we arrive.

What does this innocence mean?
It means we trust the outside world implicitly, because we do not see a difference between ourselves and the outside, it is all one thing. We love without condition, because unconditional love is the main attribute of innocence. Our little bodies flow with goodness, we are light and fluid and free. There are no traumas held captive in the body temple. Our lives are, literally, innocence incarnate. It may be hard to imagine.

What does the loss of innocence mean, and how does it happen?
The loss of innocence, or the fall, as I call it, is a different, and unique, experience, for each of us. And yet it is also the same for us all. In fact, it is that very experience that defines the rest of our lives. This loss will usually happen by way of the family, and usually by one or both of the parents. It doesn’t always, and can sometimes come from elsewhere, but it has the same impact. It is what leads us to begin what we call ‘our story.’ It is our own unique blueprint. It is how we come to experience the world.
From innocence and openness we learn sometimes harsh lessons and we close down and tighten up. We can become fearful and mistrusting. We can become traumatised and angry.
Some people never get over it. Some may experience this ‘fall’ very harshly at the hands of an abuser. The depth of trauma and wound felt can be buried so deep, and leave such wounding, it may never be healed, or even touched. 

It is to this I want to talk. It is so important to heal this innocence. Even if it hurts so much it makes us feel like death itself has arrived, it is worth a mine full of jewels to heal and grow into wisdom and power. To stay in bitterness, anger, trauma and the ‘fall’ mentality, means being stuck in the place and time of the wounding and trauma. You remain trapped.

Loss of innocence is natural, and ok.

It is the root of WISDOM and self knowledge. It is only our unawareness, and our feeling that the loss is the worst thing that happened to us, that keeps us enslaved by it. We remain trapped by it because we don’t understand it is our spiritual job to transform it to wisdom and self knowledge, thereby becoming masters of our lives and helping others do the same thing.

The Mythological Aspect.
This ‘fall’ from innocence is both a real event in our lives AND a mythological event that defines what it is to be human. It is as though each of us, as we descend from heaven, or from eternal consciousness, must fall into our humanity, we are like fallen angels. And the wounds we carry are actually our gifts. They define us as our unique selves, they become our blueprint. This ‘fall from innocence’ sets up our human journey from innocence lost, to being lost in the wilderness and playing out our wounds, to beginning to ‘see the light’ and then our search for truth, and to our maturity and healing, before we return to heaven, or consciousness. 
We are, in fact, mythic adventurers.

I think you can begin to see by now what I’m getting at. I am really saying that, even though it may hurt and be very difficult, it is our task to embrace our wounds, our ‘fall,’ and heal ourselves by letting it go. 
I am saying our ‘fall from innocence,’ is a doorway to maturity and wisdom. It involves such deep transformation that it can change you fundamentally on every level.
It can impact your health, your nervous system, your immune system and your brain health.
It has the potential to radically improve your relationships, all of them.
It can change how you see the rest of your life.
And it can change what you do with your life.

If you keep denying your fall, or simply cannot bring yourself to accept it, or heal it in someway, I’m sorry to say that it will rule your life for the rest of your days. It may impact your health, it may already have done. It will interfere with relationships, and it may already have done. It will prevent true happiness, ease, maturity, love and wisdom from flowing.

That is the power of this ‘fall from innocence.’

I hope it has given you some food for thought. If you have anything to comment, or you completely disagree with me, or you want to add something, or you have a question, please don’t hesitate to add a comment.

And I will notify you on this blog when the podcast is ready…Im looking forward to expanding this topic, I do believe it is so very important.

Thanks for reading!


Live As If Anything Is Possible

miracle-growThe body is one of life’s mysteries. In fact a human being, itself, is still one of the greatest mysteries of the entire universe as we understand it.
And don’t think for one minute we have solved the mystery of human, or the mystery of mind, or body.
We haven’t, and we are a long way from understanding these things.
We scratch the surface and pretend we are authorities on life. But we really are not.
We have solved many riddles and probed deeper and deeper into how we work, and how manifestation works, but there are always new revelations and ever new wonders.
Ultimately life itself is a mystery that will probably never be solved.
The reason I’m saying this is to encourage you to see that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
We really don’t know the purpose of all this. We cannot be certain. And if we can’t be certain, it means anything is possible.
For example, on a basic level, when I was diagnosed with Inflammatory Bowel Disease, I remember well the day I went to see the consultant. He was absolutely resolute and utterly convinced of his own knowledge (he was a professional!) and wanted to convince me that no one ever could or can heal, cure or successfuly overcome IBD. I doubted his truth, and decided to go on my own journey to find out. He presented me with a reality he believed in, but I chose not to believe it and decided to leave myself open to the mystery of life.
In truth, I didn’t know whether I could heal or not, I had no information or experience.
But I was up for the challenge.
I do not accept some else’s version of ‘reality’ when I know that they simply cannot know 100% that they are right.
My logic was, even if one or two people have healed from this set of symptoms, it indicates that something is possible.
If placebo happens, and it does, and if miracles happen, and they do, then it PROVES that nothing is as certain as they suggest.
As it transpires, I was right. I never went back to see him and healed what was, and is, considered un-healable.
And my story is repeated by thousands, probably millions of people who have made choices that defy the perennial view of reality.
We are the hero’s and heroines of a new reality. When you defy the perennial view of reality you are forging new territory, breaking new ground. And like all pioneers, going into new territory is tough and challenging.
If there is a calling in your heart, listen to it, serve it, respond to it.
If it’s not there, there is no problem.
If there is a calling in your heart that whispers to you, and tells you to go on the healing journey, listen to it!
It could be your soul calling.
If your soul doesn’t call you, it’s not your time.
You will never heal if your call is coming from resentment or the voice of ‘I should.’
I tried to give up addictions in my life a few times. I tried to give up smoking many times because I thought I should. each time I failed and returned (happily) to my habit. The final time of giving up was totally different. There was no question around it. There was no doubt about it. Of course there were the withdrawals and the desires, but they never touched  me, because the call to let go of this addiction came from a different place, it came from realising that I was not loving myself by doing it, and that addiction was a form of self hate. I didn’t actually give up at that stage, it just fell away as no longer useful or element to my life.
I had moved to a higher plane of my existence.
13-09-25-connecting-with-the-perfect-realitySo choosing the healing path has to be genuine. You can cultivate this genuine desire, but the seed has to be there for you to water it and feed it. No seed, no transformation. You cannot grow a tree unless there is a seed to start it off.
And what I’m saying is not just about healing illness. It’s about any kind of transformation, spiritual searching, anything that involves a challenge to your belief systems, those beliefs systems of people around you, and the prevailing belief systems of society.
The seed is your calling. There in your soul, like a whisper in the dark night, beckoning you toward it. It’s a light that is easily ignored. But it never goes out. We just don’t see it.
I am encouraging you to see it, and turn around and face it.
And walk towards it.
And dive into it.
And burn all falseness away.
And become transformed.
And live in a new, miraculous way.
love-in-fireYou have that power. There is no point in denying it.
The power, the voice, the calling, all these lie dormant and latent in each human being.
There is no preferential treatment when it comes to this.
Everyone has the same latent potential to respond to their soul’s calling.
Thanks for reading!

Chronic Illness Offers the Power of Transformation

Im sure you’ve noticed it. in fact it might be you who experiences it. If not I can guarantee its in your family somewhere, or your friends, or work colleagues. What is it?
Of course you guessed it. Chronic Disease.
Its everywhere folks, like a modern scourge of humanity.
And, whilst one associates chronic disease with the elderly, its a scourge that now affects all ages, all social strata, and all colour and sex.

I lost my mother and father to chronic disease. My mother had rheumatoid arthritis terribly and died of the effects of the medication. My father succumbed to cancer. My brother has carried the emotional wounds of childhood around his whole life and never dealt with them, and they are killing him slowly but surely.
And I myself developed (if thats the right word) Inflammatory Bowel Disease in 2004 after a life of toxic hedonism and emotional dysfunctionality. So I know something of what I’m saying.
Thats my whole family.

It was only because I was so prepared to sit up and take notice, and address ALL the factors that contributed to the disease, that I have been able to get this far in my healing. If I had fallen short, or been too reluctant, or scared, or if I had not been prepared to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to heal I doubt I would have recovered.

And here is the main point of my writing this blog today.

I see clients, friends, and people who I just meet, who want the quick fix, magic bullet, ‘someone just tell me what to do,’ approach to whatever they are suffering from. That may work for some people, but honestly not that many.
Because the symptoms of this chronic illness are the messengers the body is sending to you saying,’ We need to address the situation and make some changes, very very soon.’ Those messages will increase in intensity until you do something about it, or until you take the medication that completely hides the message.

You may well try the ‘shoot the messenger’ approach but the long term impact of not making changes can be disastrous.

In so many chronic conditions, what we can’t accept and don’t want to hear is, ‘We caused this ourselves.’ We want to hear it has come from some mysterious place outside us, and we are victims of this terrible thing. And I know sometimes this is the case, I really accept that. BUT I am talking about all the other ones. I am going to say it boldly to make the point.

It may well be that you, or whoever we are talking about, actually caused this condition.

Ouch! I am sorry. But here is the most important point. That sentence, and the understanding that it had something to do with you actually gives you a lot of power.
From suddenly being the victim of this terrible thing you have the opportunity to face it and take responsibility for it.
Of course in realising you, your choices, your lifestyle, beliefs and traumas, played a big part in your disease, it can render you feeling guilty and ashamed, and you can slip into feelings of self pity.

But I am offering you a very different approach. I am saying that by seeing the part you have played in your condition and the demand of the body to face it, you have the opportunity to make dramatic and profound changes that will improve the quality of your whole life in ways you cannot yet imagine. Yes, its tough. Yes, you have to really dig deep. Yes, you have to face your addictions, and the emotional wounds behind the addictions. But it will forge you into a warrior, open your heart and change your relationship with yourself, others and the world.

Im sick of this ‘powerlessness’ that we are suffering from. It needs our attention. Health, illness, wellbeing is one of the modern plagues that is arising in the world at this time because we need to address our relationship to our own bodies and the body of the world, the earth. They are the same thing.

We are stronger than we imagine. But we are badly trained. Lets change this powerlessness by taking responsibility, once and for all.

Chronic Illness is a Holistic Invitation.

Kavi Portrait 2 copy


I Want To Heal But I’m Scared To Change

No-one ever cured, healed or resolved their illness WITHOUT CHANGING STUFF!!

I used to be cynical and almost arrogant about this subject in the past, but I can tell you I have softened and become much more compassionate and understanding as I’ve aged. I really understand the resistance and fear people have, even though I can clearly see how holding on to the past is so dangerous.

Be determinedWhen you have persevered, struggled, battled and surrendered with health, wellbeing, toxic beliefs and hidden traumas, and come out the other side, as I have, you just want to grab everyone and scream,’Come One!! It’s so much better on this side!’

But life is not like that and we each have our own karma, our own life story, our own destiny. At the end of the day love is the only thing that matters. Change IS love. It’s not what we do on the outside, it’s how much love we give and receive that brings us to our real humanity. the rest of it is just icing on the cake.

The post today Is actually one I wrote in 2013 when I was quite feisty and even angry still. I have edited it for today, but I just found it and the point it makes is a good one and worthy of some inquiry.

You see I have met many people, and you may have also (you may even be one of them) who do really want to take charge of their lives, their health, their weight, their dis-ease, their (anything), and they DO want to heal, BUT they don’t want to have to change the things that need changing in order to do it. That means they don’t want to take the external actions, address the internal emotions and beliefs, wounds, traumas, toxic values and relationships necessary to facilitate that healing and transformation.

This was my post (amended):

The conundrum many thousands, indeed millions of people face in all areas of life when meeting difficulty goes something like this;
“Yes, I really want to (heal my illness, get fit, find the perfect partner, become rich, be happy) BUT I don’t want to have to change myself too much. The subtext reads, ‘I don’t want to change my thoughts, I don’t want to resolve my rage, fear and pain. I can’t face the truth. I don’t want to utterly transform myself until I am no longer the person I was, and I certainly don’t want to change my habits’.

‘No, I want all the good bits to happen, but since I still, deep down inside, believe that nothing that happens to me has anything to do with me and I’ve just been cursed by bad luck, I just want someone to wave a magic wand and make everything turn out alright.’

Enter the Medical Profession stage left, and shuffling right behind them the Pharmaceutical Industry.

If you imagine that you can get to where you want to go, particularly if you want to heal illness, WITHOUT CHANGING FUNDAMENTAL ASPECTS of your thinking, emotions and behaviour, permanently (and I might say, for the better) then you are going to be very frustrated and feel really stuck for a long time.

We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” Einstein.

But boy do we try!

Let’s just turn our attention to healing illness. The current pathology that drives sick people to go cap in hand, uninformed and desperate, to the doctors, consultants and other professionals, is a monumental societal sickness itself.
And for lifestyle, emotions, beliefs and habits NEVER to be addressed by these professionals sets up the powerless victim mentality that plays into the hands of the greedy corporate monsters who simply do not care about healing or cures but only about profit and perpetuation. BUT THIS IS THE RUB.

No-one ever cured, healed or resolved their illness WITHOUT CHANGING STUFF!!
The collusion between doctor and patient around this is laughable, if it wasn’t so sad. Doctor and patient both consciously or unconsciously talk about diabetes, heart disease, cancer, inflammation and the treatment of it, but very rarely do they have the genuine conversatioLight-Being-MEDn about what habits, thoughts, emotions, foods, drinks, or relationships are contributing to said problem.

We have got to get a grip on this catastrophic nightmare of stupidity we are suffering from. How people can create their sickness (as I did), trot off to the surgery expecting a miracle and never address what THEY actually did to create the sickness in the first place is beyond me!

We are Powerful beyond measure.
We are the creators of our lives and our experiences.
We are vast electrical bio-computers with access to the divine.
We stand in our own way.
We are capable of anything, from healing our illness to creating our illness.
Whatever we believe, truly believe deep inside, we will do.
We can live from our magnificence or we can live from our smallness and victim hood. It’s our choice. It is up to us to inform each other of that choice.

Fear. Fear is the great big Elephant in the room for most people. Fear is the foot on the brake of desire and the invitation of evolution. Fear is a necessary evil. It serves great purpose in protecting us from danger in acute situations, but when it becomes a chronic condition it plays an inflammatory role. There is a connection between acute fear and acute inflammation and chronic fear and chronic inflammation.
One of the problems is that we cannot distinguish between healthy fear and unhealthy fear. Between fear that serves us and fear that limits and diminishes us.
Thats a big problem.
Fear easily makes us stuck. Being stuck makes us vulnerable to authority. Fear makes us undermine our own authority.

You are going to have to get to grips with fear to make the changes demanded of you. 
The good news is that most fear is an illusion. You can only know this when you have been through the ‘veil of fear.’


Change is the greatest constant. We think we can stay the same. We like what we are, or we are afraid of changing. But we are changing anyway, as is everything around us.

The truth is that when we embrace the hidden gifts that life offers us, whether through illness, relationship, or money, we find new and unexplored areas of ourselves, new vistas, new inner countries to explore. And we change and grow into deeper and wiser human beings. Refusing to change is like refusing to grow up, hanging on to childhood when it’s obvious it’s over. When we embrace the transitions life offers us ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN, but it is always enriching.
And society grows richer because of it.
Kavi Portrait 2 copyEmbrace whatever life is throwing at you, it’s your gift, even when it’s real tough.

Thank you for reading.




Don’t get Spiritual, get REAL – Heal Your Relationship with Your Body

Today’s blog is, for some, a contentious subject. In many spiritual circles, particularly the non duality and advaita scenes, they won’t talk about the body because, well, we don’t have one.

As far as they are concerned ultimate truth is all that matters, and in ultimate truth there is only consciousness. So if there is only consciousness why pay any attention to that which is an illusion? Just leave the body alone and don’t get caught in the distraction and addiction to that which is false.
Sounds true? Sounds right?

Well after my own investigations, self inquiry, and experience of being totally cut off from my own body most of my life, and returning to my body over a long healing period, I think I can shed some light on this matter and give it some perspective.

Amoda CR Satsang 2 sepiaI see life from both sides of the spiritual fence. I go to a lot of Satsangs as my wife is a spiritual teacher/author and she holds regular meetings (I am her videographer – one of my many roles!) – so I get quite an insight into the kinds of people that are searching for answers to deep questions.
And of course I have written my own book of healing  and been on a long and deep journey myself, AND speak to a lot of clients about body/mind/emotion issues.
Here are some of my observations.

We search for spiritual solutions to practical problems much of the time. Thats a heck of a thing to say but I can’t help but say it.
Often I see people who are cut off from their emotions and their bodies sitting in Satsang, searching for spiritual answers, asking, ‘Who Am I?’ If they get answers, and this is the big problem, the answers they get stay in the mental realm and do not become visceral, in the body, grounded and real experiences. If the answers are not embodied they are not real, they do not become living realities. And so the trouble develops that these answers stay spiritual theories, not practicalities. We can have all the theories we like, but what we need is a spirituality that delivers practical, liveable, life changing truths.

For spiritual realisations and truths to become living realities we have to address two things.
The body and the emotions.


I am what might be called a ‘Top Down Bottom Up’ kind of guy. What? Sounds weird right?

Put simply, I address all issues, whether they are ‘spiritual’, mental, emotional, physical, or existential, in the same way.
I address the roots, i.e. the cellular body and gut, and the mind/spirit, the inquiry into what is real.

That means I acknowledge and attend to the body.
If you have read my previous blog, and I would encourage you to do so:
you will know that I experienced inner harmony and mental, emotional and spiritual balance when I attended to the body and detoxified it. I became a grounded and clear seeing person.

Really, its like a blind spot in the modern western disenchanted spiritual seekers psyche. They look everywhere for answers, but fail to look where the roots of the problem might be. Sometimes the solution to alienation and disillusionment can be as simple as getting real grounded in the body, detoxifying it, nourishing it, and balancing the internal energy system.

Sometimes it looks like human beings would rather do anything, would rather endure all sorts of discomfort, would rather experience disconnection and lostness, than acknowledge they have a body and it needs support and rebalancing.
Maybe they secretly know that if they address the body then ipso facto they will have to address their emotions. And most people, many of them spiritual seekers, don’t want go anywhere near their emotional baggage..So they find someone, a guru, who says,’There is no body, and emotions are an illusion that need no attention,’ and so suddenly ‘poof!’ as if by magic 30, 40 or 50 years of emotional and physical trouble disappears, because they have realised its an illusion better ignored…

I have some bad news about this line of argument…It doesn’t work.

If you really imagine that a lifetime’s worth of visceral wounding and pain, emotional trauma and psychic battering that has buried itself in the body armouring, tissues, cellular intelligence and nervous system, is just going to yield because you ‘think’ its an illusion you are living in a fantasy. It just ain’t like that. Reality is a bit more persistent than that.

The relative world exists guys, and we are all in it. Yes its an illusion. But its a very real one, and it lives and breathes through the body that is your access point to this dimension. Deal with it.
You can’t ‘spiritualise’ the body away, it’s just not that easy.

Only the master who utterly and totally transcends space and time, who becomes fully enlightened once and for all can safely live beyond caring or even attending to the body. (And yet even they, most of them, DID attend to it. Ramana Maharshi did, Jesus did, Buddha did)

So enough said, rant over. What is the answer that I am proposing?
Its simple. Wherever you are at, ill or not: Heal Your Relationship with Your Body. Get Holistic.
Attend to your body on the cellular level. Clean it up, detox it, and then nourish it as naturally as possible.
Attend to emotional disturbance, recognising that there are wounds that need healing, fears that need letting go of, and troubles that need resolving.
Attend to the mind through spiritual practice and self inquiry.
Be patient and diligent in all areas of life.
Think holistically, not spiritually.
Accept that you have a body that needs some love and support.

It will then serve you, and harmony and groundedness will happen. Its simple. Try it.

12376456_10153745034952856_8110593313318979093_nThanks for reading!








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