Chronic Disease and the Magic Bullet Syndrome

This weekend I was asked again about how I healed Ulcerative Colitis by a third party who was trying to ‘help’ someone in their family who was desperate and suffering. I have been asked this question in various forms many times, and been asked for ‘tips and suggestions’ about what to do.

And I have to say there is something about the asking of these questions in this way that frustrates me so much.

Why?

Because it implicitly suggests and hopes that healing a major chronic disease is something that can be done easily without making much change or dramatic transformation, as if there is some secret ‘magic bullet’ that I found that instantly solved the whole thing and allowed me to carry on with my life the same way without changing anything.

I dont mean this implicit suggestion is even conscious on the questioners part, or the sufferers part. It comes more from not knowing and desperately hoping that they won’t have to do THAT much.

Because the simple fact is that people don’t want to change that much. Even when they are ill. It may sound shocking but a lot of people are so stuck in their lives, emotions, habits, thoughts and beliefs, that they would rather endure chronic illness than venture beyond the safety zone of their lives and step into the unknown. The mind and emotions desperately want safety and security of the known. And that is what you have to leave behind if you are going to heal anything.

It is exactly the same journey and challenge on the spiritual path. You cannot reach awakening or enlightenment while your strongest desire is to stay in the realm of the known, which is where it is most comfortable.

Here is where it gets a bit strange. It is called the ‘comfort zone’ but actually I’ve never met anyone inside it who is very comfortable. True comfort is found where comfort zone dissolves and the walls of false protection come crumbling down.
There is no place for what is false in spirituality OR healing.

So to return to my point. When I get asked these questions I have to respond truthfully. This is the kind of thing I say.

Dear ……

The journey of healing for me was an extraordinary undertaking that totally changed my life. I didn’t expect it but it happened because I surrendered to it and gave myself to it 100% without holding anything back. It took at least 10 years of dedication and struggle, self love and warrior-like strength.

It doesn’t have to take that long for everyone BUT it DOES take the same amount of courage and resourcefulness. Chronic illness, by the time it manifests as symptoms, has probably been lurking in the system for many years. It has something to do with many aspects of one’s life, from the physical to the emotional and the mental. Some of those things can be changed, looked at and transformed. There is no magic bullet to this, although there are helpful things. It is a big journey and a profound invitation for those who experience it. It is actually life itself rising up and saying, ‘Something you have been doing, some ways of living, eating, thinking, some emotions you have been carrying, no longer serve you and you need to change them.’

The experiencer can take that message as self blame or self negation, in which case they will suffer more, or they can step up to the challenge and make a big decision that they will meet this with openness, strength, vulnerability, willingness and power.’ With those qualities, with a lot of support, preferably from natural healers, functional doctors, and appropriate therapists, then that person will, step by step, slowly slowly, go on their journey. No one knows where it will lead. That is the mystery.

But I will guarantee you that it will change them, make them deeper and wiser, more self loving, more aware, more powerful, and more knowledgable than any course in pharmaceutical medication could.

And they may heal their chronic illness.

Thats why it’s difficult to offer tips and suggestions.

With great love and kindness.

Kavi’

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What Disease?

How did I heal Ulcerative Colitis?
I didn’t.
What I did was remove what was triggering the inflammation and reactivity in my struggling body.
All the words ‘Ulcerative Colitis’ mean is ulceration of the colon, inflammation of the colon. That is a description not a disease.
It turned out to be toxic residue from years of drug abuse.
It turned out to be heavy emotional burden and traumas from youth.
It tuned out to be heavy metals.
It turned out to be liver stagnation.
It turned out to be lymphatic congestion.

All these were resolved almost fully with serious and focused detoxification and nourishment of the organism.
And with serious and focused emotional healing, releasing what was stuck in the body and mind system.
And getting some health going again.
With exercise, fresh air and relaxation.

At no point did I do anything about ‘Ulcerative Colitis.’

But magically, or obviously, by the time I finished my 21 day water fast, and since then, I have had NO SYMPTOMS at all of this disease they call Ulcerative Colitis.

As far as they are concerned I still have it.

As far as I’m concerned its vanished because I didn’t have any ‘disease’ in the first place. I had symptoms, sign posts, indicators of deep issues that were causing me big problems.

I hope you get this and show it to anyone who has chronic issues.

Don’t let the diagnosis define you. Think bigger and deeper.

Get wise and aware.

Is Chronic Disease the Price we Pay for Modern Life?

I think we have a problem. A big problem facing the whole of society, no matter which country we are in (unless its a very natural and simple one far away from modern life)

That problem is that we are in danger of accepting chronic illness, and particularly auto immune related illness, AS THE NORM. We are in danger of accepting that auto immunity is a natural response to a toxic environment, and we are attempting to pacify the body, hide the symptoms and label the disease but we are not, en masse, or from the highest level of politics, doing anything about it from the environmental perspective.

I believe we actually think that chronic disease is the price we pay for modern urban living.

AND IT MAY BE TRUE.

When we draw back and look at this issue from a collective, national and global standpoint we see some terrifying patterns. Obviously from the personal position we don’t care about global patterns or what it’s even caused by, because we are so preoccupied and taken up with our own journey of healing or intervention. But if the very root of our illness is our constant reactivity to aspects of our environment that we can never escape then we have a problem. We will never heal enough to feel great or truly healthy, but we will simply carry around low grade or high grade symptoms and fend off acute illness for as long as possible until we finally succumb.

If the very root of our illness is our constant reactivity to aspects of our environment that we can never escape then we have a problem.

So many people are sick. So many people are chronically sick, acutely sick, low grade sick, only just able to function sick.
Chronic disease is epidemic, no one doubts that. Since the 20th Century burst open, with its wars and its extraordinary industrialization, its chemicals and factories and intense farming, chronic disease has been growing. But since the 1990’s and the turn of this Century things have escalated, and as far as I see, hear and experience as I travel around, they don’t look like stopping. It is out of control. If it was murder, terrorism or car crashes we would be freaking out. But because it is chronic illness we don’t bat an eyelid.

Wow!

My feeling is thus: We should NEVER accept chronic illness as normal. Just because its the appropriate response of the immune system and nervous system to a toxic and highly stressful, chemical laden, environment, that in itself is no reason to accept it as normal. We have to do everything and anything, personally and collectively, environmentally and politically, to deal with the environmental triggers, to reduce chemical toxicity, to clean up air, water and city, to actually study wifi and discuss the dangers.

Here is what we can do. GET AS HEALTHY AS POSSIBLE, without being tight or rigid about it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about diets or losing weight (I DO mean finding your natural weight), I am talking about doing everything in your power to detox your lymphatic system, clear up your gut health, reduce stress, improve sleep, hydration and vegetable intake. Choose organic and non GMO ALWAYS! Exercise the body, sweat and breathe. Release emotional stuckness, rigid thoughts and beliefs and RELAX! Get out in the sun, dance and walk in nature. 

Remove toxic products as much as possible from your life, your house, bathroom and car. They are everywhere. Research what is natural and buy it. Prioritize health above almost everything else, except maybe your kids. If you have kids, prioritize THEIR health! 

Did I say sort out your gut? Detox your brain, your gut, your liver, heal your adrenals and kidneys. Research the dangers of wifi and start to do what you can to protect yourself from the danger. At least don’t sleep with your phone.

All of this you could do, sick or not. And I promise you it will help your body defense system deal with today’s toxic load. You will be the healthiest person in the hospital. And even though you may still be diagnosed with some chronic condition you won’t even feel it because you will be strong and healthy. A strange idea I know but it seems to be the times we live in.

Let me know what you think.

Reactivity in Auto Immune Conditions and Inflammation

Please do not take this as scientific proof. If you are looking for modern science you probably wont find it here. This blog and website is only about ideas that might be possible.

As I always say in my blogs and posts, find out for yourself what is true. Believe nothing unless you truly believe it deeply inside. And if you don’t know, be ok with not knowing and make your inquiry into healthy living and illness come from an unknown perspective.

Basically, develop discernment and inner wisdom, it will serve you for life and help others who also don’t know.

My conversations are speculative and holistic. I’m trying to connect dots that medical science doesn’t want to, or can’t, or won’t, connect. Mainly that means exploring the connection between matter and thought, or body and mind you might say.

I want to look at patterns, beliefs, language, energy fields, that sort of thing. I truly believe we only have a small bit of the puzzle of being human. Most of the rest of the puzzle will not be found in science or conventional medicine.

But the puzzle and the mystery is where the exciting stuff is. That’s where I like to dig around. I am an investigator and explorer.

So I have been contemplating the nature of auto immune conditions, described by conventional medicine as ‘self attacking self,’ and decided to talk a little about how our emotional mental ‘reactivity’ to life, thought and situations may play a very big part in perpetuating the suffering of self attack.

The key here is to understand why reactivity, particularly over-reactivity, is happening on the mental, emotional level, and to attempt to ease it down and relax it. In my world awareness and understanding is fundamental in the healing.

Reactivity tends to come from fear. That fear can be fear of danger, fear of lack of safety, threat to life, violence or extreme vulnerability. Fear is an existential issue we all have somewhere deep within. People with trauma, childhood wounds, acute sensitivity (sometimes from birth trauma) and unstable childhoods are prone to this fear more than most. This fear is visceral, it’s not simply emotional or mental. It becomes physical, make no mistake. And that physicality we now know (through science and biology) can affect our gut microbiome, digestive process, gut permeability, ‘fight or flight’ mechanism, and adrenal glands, as well as the whole body. Every physical effect I have just stated impacts the immune system.

The deeper trouble with this is that it sets up a chronic pattern that may lock us in for life. If these things are happening in childhood and youth we learn them as survival mechanisms and repeat them every time something real OR IMAGINED reminds us of the old trauma. It doesn’t have to be a real threat, it can just be the thought of it or something similar. In fact much of this reactivity will happen IN ANTICIPATION of trouble THAT ACTUALLY DOESN’T HAPPEN.

This has been one of my ongoing life stories revealed to me over the years through various body work therapies, deep inner exploration and more recently chiropractic testing. I developed a secret inner part of me that was always alert to danger, always on the look out and hyper vigilant, whether I was asleep or not. The consequences of this are serious and disturbing, both physically and mentally. Physically it means being always in reactivity mode and high alert, and never able to get into deep restful delta sleep where healing and renewal comes from.

It means immune system and nervous system are on constant alert to danger. It began in my early teens during my parents slide into acrimonious divorce and my slide into ‘out of control’ drug taking chaos. It has lasted a lifetime (the effect not the drugs!), and been mostly hidden from view but had massive repercussions on my relationships, purpose in life and most important on my physical health. Specifically on my immune health, gut health, and now thyroid health. It also resulted in addiction problems.

So what does this say?

Well I actually see this reactivity, this over active ‘fight or flight’ mechanism, at play in many people I work with, and almost always with those who experience some form of auto immunity. And it can disguise itself in many ways. Being over critical of self or others is one way, being self hating (remember the ‘self attacking self’ phrase at the beginning of this article?), being extremely resentful, being highly anxious, fearful, angry or depressed are all permutations of the same thing, reactivity.

This blog piece is just the beginning of a much bigger conversation about mind and body and trauma, and about how the immune system gets over activated when we are young.

If we accept that reactivity might be an issue both physically and emotionally it gives us knowledge and insight, and puts us in a greater position to be able to take action.

What action? I am going to discuss this next time.

I would love to hear from you what you think, as I really don’t have all the answers, but thousands of questions that I love exploring.

And the next piece I think will be how to turn our unhealthy reactivity to a healthy and calm responsiveness so we can maintain calm in our inner world.

Thank you so much for reading, and please please comment and add something to the conversation. And share this is you feel moved to.

Auto Immune Causes – The Cat and Mouse Game – A Personal Tale

Some of you may know over the years I have been through many diagnoses ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous, but have suspected Thyroid problems for a while now. Hashimotos is an auto immune experience, and I have been through gut related auto immune in the form of colitis, so I carry a tendency and possibly a lingering causal issue.

I now have some definitive test results that reveal I am producing antibodies which means there is a problem with the thyroid and what might be called ‘an auto immune’ condition.

I now have something to work on. But honestly this area is a minefield of information and red herrings, false flags and holistic mystery.

Getting tested is important, but tests are so damn expensive, particularly when there are a myriad of tests.

Finding a professional, either a decent doctor or a functional doctor or a knowledgeable naturopath is very expensive and out of my range, so i’m in the thick of it with trying to unravel it for myself as much as possible.

Luckily I am healthy, or at least healthy enough to mitigate some of the symptoms and effects.

But thats not enough when there is attrition of the gland and body going on. I have to dig even deeper and find some causal factor.

Could be Epstein Barr virus.
Could be heavy metal.
Could be electro smog.
Could be the years of toxic drug overload.
Could be a genetic component.
Could be years of stress I carried.
Could be low testosterone.

You see the problem?

It is something of an anomaly to have this..I am actually super healthy on so many levels, and all indications are it just shouldn’t be so. So the question that must always be asked and pursued is WHY?

What is causing this reactivity in the cellular body? Over the years as I have healed my gut the inflammation markers have come down and down until now there is no sign of inflammation.

That doesn’t necessarily mean there is one. But something is in the system, or some imbalance in the system, that is creating this disturbance. It might be low grade infection (ala ‘Medical Medium’ suggestion that Epstein Barr virus is more at play in Hashimotos and auto immunity than we imagine. It could simply be years of toxic assault, mercury (now gone) and stress (which I carried for many years) and of course electro smog and all its joys..

And of course Im now 59 so the body is hanging and getting older, systems getting weaker, testosterone going down, and so on and so forth.

So the investigation continues, meanwhile I truly believe that one can at least offset damage and harm by living as though one were vibrantly well, consciously choosing healthy foods and exercise and attending to the mind and emotion. xx

Thats where I’m at. I am almost excited to have found out something definite. It gives me a direction to move in.

Thanks for reading!

My recent results.

Thyroid Inquiry

 I have been forced, invited, demanded, to look at this confusing and mysterious area of thyroid over recent years, and increasingly so in the last year as I began to see links and connections between certain symptoms that have been appearing.

For example, a full blown skin rash that appeared last year which was shocking and intense, covered my entire body in red spots and then developed into welts that were very scary and painful. I still have the residue of these issues and am finding it hard to ‘kick them into touch.’

Both my wife and I suspected, intuited and rationalized that all my symptoms, from the rash to swollen calves, to foggy brain and increasingly causeless anxiety were somehow linked to a thyroid imbalance, which may or may not have been exacerbated by a very poor mercury amalgam removal in Costa Rica about 2 years ago.

(More on that fiasco some other time, but needless to say, if you are going to get your mercury removed, GO PROFESSIONAL!)

MY TERRIFYING RASH LAST YEAR!

I saw doctor after doctor in the UK, both at the outset of the symptoms and when they were at their peak.

NONE of them were interested in connecting the symptoms with the thyroid gland, or inflammation, or gut problems, or even my auto immune problems. No, they wanted to send me to dermatology, or rheumatology, or some other more specialist department that sounded like it was helpful but was not. 

WHY NOT?

Because at the end of the day, after all diagnoses and investigation, and this is my most important point ever, and after all tests were in, THEY COULDN’T OFFER ME ANYTHING USEFUL, or any useful connection between symptoms, and they couldn’t offer me any treatment that was natural or dealt with root cause.

They had no idea what the root cause was, and they had no methods to find out. Neither was that their remit.

That was it basically. I was alone with the internet. I couldn’t afford to see a Functional Doctor which is what I would always recommend for someone with auto immune related issues.

I saw a fantastic acupuncture therapist and herbalist who helped me restore some balance, and there really are imbalances in the whole body system.

I bought this book. http://a.co/azf2chL

And I  really started to focus on what I could do to calm things down and restore some order. I have a long way to go, but I am delighted that I haven’t had to take any medication at all.

My main areas of focus are: GUT. LIVER. ADRENALS.

My current skills are: PATIENCE. CONSISTENCY. RELAXATION.

My current awareness is: MIND is as important as BODY in healing.

If you, or anyone you know, is experiencing mild, or harsh, symptoms that might be diagnosed as thyroid related, be warned about going down the medical route on its own.

Seek second opinion and further testing by alternative practitioners, functionals doctors, chinese medicine doctors etc. It might save your thyroid gland and prevent you having to depend on pharmaceutical medication for the rest of your life.

Here are some resources to pursue:

http://hypothyroidmom.com/when-thyroid-disease-masquerades-as-psychiatric-disorder/

http://hypothyroidmom.com/anxiety-panic-attacks-depression-mood-swings-the-thyroid-roller-coaster-ride/

 

And here are some ideas from Dr Axe. They are pretty basic but they introduce the principles. An anti inflammatory diet is ESSENTIAL, no question.

Natural Hypothyroidism Treatment – FROM DR AXE.

Here are the 8 Secrets to fixing your thyroid issues:

1. Go Gluten and A1 Casein FREE – the most common allergies and food intolerances today are from wheat and dairy products because of the hybridized proteins of gluten and a1 casein.  These proteins can cause “Leaky Gut” which in turn will cause inflammation of the thyroid and effect it’s function.  Follow a grain-free diet or at least go gluten free.  Then only consume dairy products that come from A2 cows, goat milk, or sheep milk.

2. NO BPA – Bisphenol A (BPA) is found in plastic bottles and can disrupt your endocrine system and effect your thyroid.  I recommend only drinking out of glass, stainless steel, or BPA free plastic bottles.

3. Check Your Iodine Levels – If they are low use a kelp or organic liquid iodine supplement.

4. Heavy Metal Detox – I recommend using a combination of Milk Thistle, Turmeric, Chlorella, and Cilantro to detox these harmful metals from your cells and organs.

5. More Selenium – Make sure you’re getting enough selenium in your diet but also don’t go overboard.  Some of the best selenium containing foods are brazil nuts, salmon, sunflower seeds, beef, mushrooms and onions.

6. Adaptogen Supplements – Can lower cortisol levels and improve thyroid function like Ashwagandha and Tulsi.

7. Silver Fillings Removal – if you have amalgam fillings talk with a DAMS mercury safe dentist about proper removal.

8. Lower Carbohydrate Intake – Lower your intake of sugars and grains and replace them with healthy fats.  Most women especially consume far too many carbs which increase estrogen and negatively effect the thyroid.  Instead consume healthy fats that will balance hormones, like: coconut oil, coconut milk, avocado, grass-fed beef, wild salmon, chia, flaxseeds, and hemp seeds.

https://draxe.com/8-secrets-to-cure-hypothyroidism-and-other-hormone-problems/

Good luck and thanks for reading!

 

A Warning About Toxic Emotions – They Kill

I watched my Mother decline and fall over a long period of time.

She was hit by a nasty auto immune condition – Rheumatoid Arthritis. That was on top of the onset of Osteo Arthritis.
It was savage. It really started in the 1980’s and continued to tear her body apart until she succumbed to the stress of medications and disease in 2002 and left her body.

She had two hip replacements, and had a bad reaction to one of them and developed an internal ulcer that was agony.
I spent many days over the years in and out of hospital visiting her. She wanted to die often, and often was in such pain it was very tough for her, and for me.
I cannot even begin to know how she coped. Her body twisted over the years as it does with RA and it was a sorry sight to behold,  all mangled and bent.

I did my best to encourage her to adopt a healthier lifestyle, but she wouldn’t and couldn’t. Her emotional wounding and trauma was deeply embedded in her body due to my parents very toxic and damaging divorce in the 70s from which she never recovered. She carried this resentment and bitterness until her dying day, unable to process the hurt and the pain and the anger. I think she really felt betrayed by the masculine, and did not have the inner resources to transform her own story or suffering to anything healing.
It was terrible to witness, and awful to feel so helpless to it all.

But slowly as I developed a deeper self knowledge and wisdom I gained some distance and compassion. I realized that my real job was not to try and change her, heal her or even help her.

My job was just to love her. And I did that. For the last two years I practiced just loving her. Just reminding her that she was ok whatever was happening and that love was the only thing that mattered, ever.
And even though there was pain and torment, there was love even in that. I remember just sitting in the front room of her little house holding her deformed hand as she crunched and moaned and grimaced in the pain of the physical and emotional body, and all I could do was say ‘I love you and I’m sorry.’

Eventually her body couldn’t do anything more and I received a call one day to tell me she had died. I was sad and happy. Sad to know the story of her life and how hard it had been, and happy to know that release meant freedom to fly back home.
She taught me so much, and she loved me so much. And I still think about her all the time and wish I could take with her and see her smile and hear her infectious laugh.

Why have I said all this? Because I really want to spread the word, and even shout the word from the rooftops, that old wounds, particularly resentments, bitterness and grievances left un-dealt with and hidden ALWAYS cause a cascade of trouble in the body and will never completely disappear, but will likely return to haunt the bearer in later life.

There is just no getting away from that fact that these emotions, suppressed, are highly dangerous to the health and wellbeing of the bearer, and it is our responsibility to ourselves and our community to deal with them, and support others to do the same.

It is very hard to deal with the pain of the past, but it is even harder to carry it around as a curse and allow it to pollute and poison everything we do, including relationships with other and the world.

Please let my own story be a warning to you and those you love. I myself heed her lesson and made it my mission to heal myself and let go of the past, consciously and truly. And that was one of the greatest acts of healing I have ever done.

Thank you for reading..x