Reactivity in Auto Immune Conditions and Inflammation

Please do not take this as scientific proof. If you are looking for modern science you probably wont find it here. This blog and website is only about ideas that might be possible.

As I always say in my blogs and posts, find out for yourself what is true. Believe nothing unless you truly believe it deeply inside. And if you don’t know, be ok with not knowing and make your inquiry into healthy living and illness come from an unknown perspective.

Basically, develop discernment and inner wisdom, it will serve you for life and help others who also don’t know.

My conversations are speculative and holistic. I’m trying to connect dots that medical science doesn’t want to, or can’t, or won’t, connect. Mainly that means exploring the connection between matter and thought, or body and mind you might say.

I want to look at patterns, beliefs, language, energy fields, that sort of thing. I truly believe we only have a small bit of the puzzle of being human. Most of the rest of the puzzle will not be found in science or conventional medicine.

But the puzzle and the mystery is where the exciting stuff is. That’s where I like to dig around. I am an investigator and explorer.

So I have been contemplating the nature of auto immune conditions, described by conventional medicine as ‘self attacking self,’ and decided to talk a little about how our emotional mental ‘reactivity’ to life, thought and situations may play a very big part in perpetuating the suffering of self attack.

The key here is to understand why reactivity, particularly over-reactivity, is happening on the mental, emotional level, and to attempt to ease it down and relax it. In my world awareness and understanding is fundamental in the healing.

Reactivity tends to come from fear. That fear can be fear of danger, fear of lack of safety, threat to life, violence or extreme vulnerability. Fear is an existential issue we all have somewhere deep within. People with trauma, childhood wounds, acute sensitivity (sometimes from birth trauma) and unstable childhoods are prone to this fear more than most. This fear is visceral, it’s not simply emotional or mental. It becomes physical, make no mistake. And that physicality we now know (through science and biology) can affect our gut microbiome, digestive process, gut permeability, ‘fight or flight’ mechanism, and adrenal glands, as well as the whole body. Every physical effect I have just stated impacts the immune system.

The deeper trouble with this is that it sets up a chronic pattern that may lock us in for life. If these things are happening in childhood and youth we learn them as survival mechanisms and repeat them every time something real OR IMAGINED reminds us of the old trauma. It doesn’t have to be a real threat, it can just be the thought of it or something similar. In fact much of this reactivity will happen IN ANTICIPATION of trouble THAT ACTUALLY DOESN’T HAPPEN.

This has been one of my ongoing life stories revealed to me over the years through various body work therapies, deep inner exploration and more recently chiropractic testing. I developed a secret inner part of me that was always alert to danger, always on the look out and hyper vigilant, whether I was asleep or not. The consequences of this are serious and disturbing, both physically and mentally. Physically it means being always in reactivity mode and high alert, and never able to get into deep restful delta sleep where healing and renewal comes from.

It means immune system and nervous system are on constant alert to danger. It began in my early teens during my parents slide into acrimonious divorce and my slide into ‘out of control’ drug taking chaos. It has lasted a lifetime (the effect not the drugs!), and been mostly hidden from view but had massive repercussions on my relationships, purpose in life and most important on my physical health. Specifically on my immune health, gut health, and now thyroid health. It also resulted in addiction problems.

So what does this say?

Well I actually see this reactivity, this over active ‘fight or flight’ mechanism, at play in many people I work with, and almost always with those who experience some form of auto immunity. And it can disguise itself in many ways. Being over critical of self or others is one way, being self hating (remember the ‘self attacking self’ phrase at the beginning of this article?), being extremely resentful, being highly anxious, fearful, angry or depressed are all permutations of the same thing, reactivity.

This blog piece is just the beginning of a much bigger conversation about mind and body and trauma, and about how the immune system gets over activated when we are young.

If we accept that reactivity might be an issue both physically and emotionally it gives us knowledge and insight, and puts us in a greater position to be able to take action.

What action? I am going to discuss this next time.

I would love to hear from you what you think, as I really don’t have all the answers, but thousands of questions that I love exploring.

And the next piece I think will be how to turn our unhealthy reactivity to a healthy and calm responsiveness so we can maintain calm in our inner world.

Thank you so much for reading, and please please comment and add something to the conversation. And share this is you feel moved to.

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Auto Immune Causes – The Cat and Mouse Game – A Personal Tale

Some of you may know over the years I have been through many diagnoses ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous, but have suspected Thyroid problems for a while now. Hashimotos is an auto immune experience, and I have been through gut related auto immune in the form of colitis, so I carry a tendency and possibly a lingering causal issue.

I now have some definitive test results that reveal I am producing antibodies which means there is a problem with the thyroid and what might be called ‘an auto immune’ condition.

I now have something to work on. But honestly this area is a minefield of information and red herrings, false flags and holistic mystery.

Getting tested is important, but tests are so damn expensive, particularly when there are a myriad of tests.

Finding a professional, either a decent doctor or a functional doctor or a knowledgeable naturopath is very expensive and out of my range, so i’m in the thick of it with trying to unravel it for myself as much as possible.

Luckily I am healthy, or at least healthy enough to mitigate some of the symptoms and effects.

But thats not enough when there is attrition of the gland and body going on. I have to dig even deeper and find some causal factor.

Could be Epstein Barr virus.
Could be heavy metal.
Could be electro smog.
Could be the years of toxic drug overload.
Could be a genetic component.
Could be years of stress I carried.
Could be low testosterone.

You see the problem?

It is something of an anomaly to have this..I am actually super healthy on so many levels, and all indications are it just shouldn’t be so. So the question that must always be asked and pursued is WHY?

What is causing this reactivity in the cellular body? Over the years as I have healed my gut the inflammation markers have come down and down until now there is no sign of inflammation.

That doesn’t necessarily mean there is one. But something is in the system, or some imbalance in the system, that is creating this disturbance. It might be low grade infection (ala ‘Medical Medium’ suggestion that Epstein Barr virus is more at play in Hashimotos and auto immunity than we imagine. It could simply be years of toxic assault, mercury (now gone) and stress (which I carried for many years) and of course electro smog and all its joys..

And of course Im now 59 so the body is hanging and getting older, systems getting weaker, testosterone going down, and so on and so forth.

So the investigation continues, meanwhile I truly believe that one can at least offset damage and harm by living as though one were vibrantly well, consciously choosing healthy foods and exercise and attending to the mind and emotion. xx

Thats where I’m at. I am almost excited to have found out something definite. It gives me a direction to move in.

Thanks for reading!

My recent results.

Thyroid Inquiry

 I have been forced, invited, demanded, to look at this confusing and mysterious area of thyroid over recent years, and increasingly so in the last year as I began to see links and connections between certain symptoms that have been appearing.

For example, a full blown skin rash that appeared last year which was shocking and intense, covered my entire body in red spots and then developed into welts that were very scary and painful. I still have the residue of these issues and am finding it hard to ‘kick them into touch.’

Both my wife and I suspected, intuited and rationalized that all my symptoms, from the rash to swollen calves, to foggy brain and increasingly causeless anxiety were somehow linked to a thyroid imbalance, which may or may not have been exacerbated by a very poor mercury amalgam removal in Costa Rica about 2 years ago.

(More on that fiasco some other time, but needless to say, if you are going to get your mercury removed, GO PROFESSIONAL!)

MY TERRIFYING RASH LAST YEAR!

I saw doctor after doctor in the UK, both at the outset of the symptoms and when they were at their peak.

NONE of them were interested in connecting the symptoms with the thyroid gland, or inflammation, or gut problems, or even my auto immune problems. No, they wanted to send me to dermatology, or rheumatology, or some other more specialist department that sounded like it was helpful but was not. 

WHY NOT?

Because at the end of the day, after all diagnoses and investigation, and this is my most important point ever, and after all tests were in, THEY COULDN’T OFFER ME ANYTHING USEFUL, or any useful connection between symptoms, and they couldn’t offer me any treatment that was natural or dealt with root cause.

They had no idea what the root cause was, and they had no methods to find out. Neither was that their remit.

That was it basically. I was alone with the internet. I couldn’t afford to see a Functional Doctor which is what I would always recommend for someone with auto immune related issues.

I saw a fantastic acupuncture therapist and herbalist who helped me restore some balance, and there really are imbalances in the whole body system.

I bought this book. http://a.co/azf2chL

And I  really started to focus on what I could do to calm things down and restore some order. I have a long way to go, but I am delighted that I haven’t had to take any medication at all.

My main areas of focus are: GUT. LIVER. ADRENALS.

My current skills are: PATIENCE. CONSISTENCY. RELAXATION.

My current awareness is: MIND is as important as BODY in healing.

If you, or anyone you know, is experiencing mild, or harsh, symptoms that might be diagnosed as thyroid related, be warned about going down the medical route on its own.

Seek second opinion and further testing by alternative practitioners, functionals doctors, chinese medicine doctors etc. It might save your thyroid gland and prevent you having to depend on pharmaceutical medication for the rest of your life.

Here are some resources to pursue:

http://hypothyroidmom.com/when-thyroid-disease-masquerades-as-psychiatric-disorder/

http://hypothyroidmom.com/anxiety-panic-attacks-depression-mood-swings-the-thyroid-roller-coaster-ride/

 

And here are some ideas from Dr Axe. They are pretty basic but they introduce the principles. An anti inflammatory diet is ESSENTIAL, no question.

Natural Hypothyroidism Treatment – FROM DR AXE.

Here are the 8 Secrets to fixing your thyroid issues:

1. Go Gluten and A1 Casein FREE – the most common allergies and food intolerances today are from wheat and dairy products because of the hybridized proteins of gluten and a1 casein.  These proteins can cause “Leaky Gut” which in turn will cause inflammation of the thyroid and effect it’s function.  Follow a grain-free diet or at least go gluten free.  Then only consume dairy products that come from A2 cows, goat milk, or sheep milk.

2. NO BPA – Bisphenol A (BPA) is found in plastic bottles and can disrupt your endocrine system and effect your thyroid.  I recommend only drinking out of glass, stainless steel, or BPA free plastic bottles.

3. Check Your Iodine Levels – If they are low use a kelp or organic liquid iodine supplement.

4. Heavy Metal Detox – I recommend using a combination of Milk Thistle, Turmeric, Chlorella, and Cilantro to detox these harmful metals from your cells and organs.

5. More Selenium – Make sure you’re getting enough selenium in your diet but also don’t go overboard.  Some of the best selenium containing foods are brazil nuts, salmon, sunflower seeds, beef, mushrooms and onions.

6. Adaptogen Supplements – Can lower cortisol levels and improve thyroid function like Ashwagandha and Tulsi.

7. Silver Fillings Removal – if you have amalgam fillings talk with a DAMS mercury safe dentist about proper removal.

8. Lower Carbohydrate Intake – Lower your intake of sugars and grains and replace them with healthy fats.  Most women especially consume far too many carbs which increase estrogen and negatively effect the thyroid.  Instead consume healthy fats that will balance hormones, like: coconut oil, coconut milk, avocado, grass-fed beef, wild salmon, chia, flaxseeds, and hemp seeds.

https://draxe.com/8-secrets-to-cure-hypothyroidism-and-other-hormone-problems/

Good luck and thanks for reading!

 

A Warning About Toxic Emotions – They Kill

I watched my Mother decline and fall over a long period of time.

She was hit by a nasty auto immune condition – Rheumatoid Arthritis. That was on top of the onset of Osteo Arthritis.
It was savage. It really started in the 1980’s and continued to tear her body apart until she succumbed to the stress of medications and disease in 2002 and left her body.

She had two hip replacements, and had a bad reaction to one of them and developed an internal ulcer that was agony.
I spent many days over the years in and out of hospital visiting her. She wanted to die often, and often was in such pain it was very tough for her, and for me.
I cannot even begin to know how she coped. Her body twisted over the years as it does with RA and it was a sorry sight to behold,  all mangled and bent.

I did my best to encourage her to adopt a healthier lifestyle, but she wouldn’t and couldn’t. Her emotional wounding and trauma was deeply embedded in her body due to my parents very toxic and damaging divorce in the 70s from which she never recovered. She carried this resentment and bitterness until her dying day, unable to process the hurt and the pain and the anger. I think she really felt betrayed by the masculine, and did not have the inner resources to transform her own story or suffering to anything healing.
It was terrible to witness, and awful to feel so helpless to it all.

But slowly as I developed a deeper self knowledge and wisdom I gained some distance and compassion. I realized that my real job was not to try and change her, heal her or even help her.

My job was just to love her. And I did that. For the last two years I practiced just loving her. Just reminding her that she was ok whatever was happening and that love was the only thing that mattered, ever.
And even though there was pain and torment, there was love even in that. I remember just sitting in the front room of her little house holding her deformed hand as she crunched and moaned and grimaced in the pain of the physical and emotional body, and all I could do was say ‘I love you and I’m sorry.’

Eventually her body couldn’t do anything more and I received a call one day to tell me she had died. I was sad and happy. Sad to know the story of her life and how hard it had been, and happy to know that release meant freedom to fly back home.
She taught me so much, and she loved me so much. And I still think about her all the time and wish I could take with her and see her smile and hear her infectious laugh.

Why have I said all this? Because I really want to spread the word, and even shout the word from the rooftops, that old wounds, particularly resentments, bitterness and grievances left un-dealt with and hidden ALWAYS cause a cascade of trouble in the body and will never completely disappear, but will likely return to haunt the bearer in later life.

There is just no getting away from that fact that these emotions, suppressed, are highly dangerous to the health and wellbeing of the bearer, and it is our responsibility to ourselves and our community to deal with them, and support others to do the same.

It is very hard to deal with the pain of the past, but it is even harder to carry it around as a curse and allow it to pollute and poison everything we do, including relationships with other and the world.

Please let my own story be a warning to you and those you love. I myself heed her lesson and made it my mission to heal myself and let go of the past, consciously and truly. And that was one of the greatest acts of healing I have ever done.

Thank you for reading..x

STRESS and its effect on the body systems – My Personal Revelation!

I am going to share something with you today. And its going to be about stress. And its dramatic effect on the body when it is allowed to run rampant and un-dealt with.

I would like to say this is difficult for me to admit to, but quite honestly if it serves you or anyone else I feel that my experience will not have been in vain. So please, share this post if you know someone who may benefit from it.

Some of you may know I am now in America with my beautiful wife, author and teacher Amoda Maa Jeevan. We have been here for over two weeks, in California. It has been a long and, at times, very difficult journey to get here. We are here on a long visa as it is our intention to live here long term. We left here in December 2015, and from then till now we have been nomadic, homeless, moving around, AND Amoda has been applying for the visa AND writing her new book. Both of those things have been seriously hard core tasks, but to achieve them successfully over our days, weeks and months of nomadic, erratic living, was a massive undertaking. She is an amazing human being!

IMG_3519Here is the confession. I have carried the experience, the ups and downs, the challenges, stresses, fears and difficulties not so well. My body tells the story of my life. Since the days of my Ulcerative Colitis, auto immune issue, I have had a very sensitive relationship with my physical body. It reveals everything to me, and mirrors all my emotional and mental turbulence and anxiety. I cannot hide it from my body. Some people can, they just don’t feel it in their body. I DO! You might as well, some folks do and thats a gift and a burden.

Have I shared with you about my ongoing rash this year? Oh it has been dreadful, and very very full on. Whole body rash, skin flaking, swollen arms, welts, inflammation, the whole works. It has been thought of, at various times, as urticaria, psoriasis, fungus, bacterial infection, mercury poisoning, tropical infection, and so on. Yet it has been elusive.

Since we got here I have seen a doctor, who has taken blood and I get results next week.

HERE IS THE REASON FOR THIS BLOG.

I got a referral to a Dermatologist, who I saw yesterday. I stripped down and showed him my skin, he prodded and peered, asked a load of questions and then I expected him to agree with the doctor that it was ring worm and fungal infection.

NO.’ He said, “It’s not any of that.”

“It looks like it has multiple causes that have arisen as this rash, certainly your immune system is a big factor as it is still (and forever will be) damaged with the auto immune you have carried. But the other factor is STRESS.

STRESS!!! Not just Stress!

And it really struck me in that moment how powerful STRESS, ANXIETY AND FEAR are on the physical body systems.

Immune system and nervous system, they are the two main systems that are affected by mind and emotions. And they impact every area of health. If you are one of those people who feel it all in their bodies, you have a gift and a burden. The gift is all your mental and emotional burdens, stresses and traumas are revealed to you dramatically and viscerally, and thats your invitation to deal with them consciously. The burden is that it hurts and you can get away with nothing. It gets tiring having a sensitive body. 

It gets REAL TIRING! My answer is surrender and acceptance and a refusal to medicate unless I absolutely bottom line have to, and settle for nothing, never accept a diagnosis unless it feels 100% spot on, and ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL COMPONENT. 

kavi-arms

Taken two days ago – I am getting better, the rash is clearing!

You see, we all want these problems to be caused by something outside ourselves. That makes it easier to deal with. I have dealt with so much over the years, I mean I cannot begin to tell you what I have dealt with, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically, WOW! And I guess I thought I had reached some kind of level where I was beyond it.
But this last year I admit I have felt the fears in my body, I have felt the anxiety about the future in my body.
I have felt the sudden pit of fear in my body.
I have felt the fateful feeling of foreboding in my body.
I have felt deep feelings of ancient abandonment in my body, and I have felt childhood traumas and existential troubles in my body.

Never, never, never underestimate the power of the mind over the body. Body will ultimately surrender to mind, thats the bottom line. Mind is, to a certain extent, more powerful than the body, until the body dies.

And I have learned that this is my life’s lesson. I am here to learn how to relax fully regardless of outer circumstance, regardless of what is happening. I am here to learn to be ok with life AS IT IS. That is a life path.

So we each need to find our life’s lesson. It’s all about our spiritual/existential/soul/karma and how it manifests. What are we here to learn?

What are you here to learn? If you have an issue with the physical form, if any of what I’ve said resonates with you, look inside, investigate and inquire.

It helps to know, it brings some relief to one’s personal suffering and gives a greater context for any illness.

Thank you for reading!

HOLISTIC LOGIC and the Map of Your Life

YOUR BODY IS A MAP OF YOUR LIFE.

0bc4fc1e64b4d5863aa12349a1dc1a95The body is a map. It tells you things. It shows you what is going on. And before you say, duh! isn’t that obvious, please understand I don’t mean simply the physical.  I don’t mean the body tells you whats wrong in the body, although it does that as well.
I mean the body is a map of the mind, the emotions and the psyche.
The body is it. It is our interface with this dimension of reality.
Think about it for a minute. If it weren’t for your body, and the senses you have been gifted to experience it, what would be happening?
On the level of life, nothing at all would be happening. You would not exist.

Everything that happens, happens through the body and the senses. It has to or there is nothing.
Consciousness exists prior to and after the body.

The body is a vast and complex thing. We insult it by treating it so neglectfully, and we diminish it by making it toxic and sick.

And the body itself, its twists and turns, its aches and pains, its redness, rashes, blemishes, illnesses, tells us about the consciousness and life of the person.

We just don’t know how to read the map of the body.

If we did it would be extraordinary.
And I believe we can.
We start by understanding that the body is a map.

And then we ask, ‘What might it be saying?’
And then we begin to open to intuition, hunches, messages, and all the time using logic and science to investigate the purely physical level of existence. Thats what its good for, the physical.

We develop INNER WISDOM.

I call this Holistic Logic – It is the ultimate in body centred, spiritually based, inquiry into the nature of being human.

I find it astonishing when people still think of illness, symptoms, wellbeing and anything body related, as purely physical.
We are extraordinary beings caught in a matrix that attempts to limit us. By allowing ourselves to feel and live in limited ways we become dull and lifeless.
We are born, each of us, to magnificence. It is written in our coding that we have great potential. We accept limitation but it doesn’t serve us. And it makes us ill.
I am trying to awaken your inner wisdom. Become a body map reader. You are the best possible person to understand your own nature. But you must tune in on a deeper level.

What I do is not just about health. It’s about YOUR LIFE! It’s about your power, your wisdom, your work, service and job. It’s about your relationships, your family, your morality, and about the point of your existence.

I find it astonishing when people still think of illness, symptoms, wellbeing and anything body related, as purely physical.

We are extraordinary beings caught in a matrix that attempts to limit us. By allowing ourselves to feel and live in limited ways we become dull and lifeless.
We are born, each of us, to magnificence. It is written in our coding that we have great potential. We accept limitation but it doesn’t serve us. And it makes us ill.

I am trying to awaken your inner wisdom.

Help me return to this

Help me return to this

 

Podcast – I thought I was more Bulletproof than I actually was!

I have recorded a new podcast that I am very happy with. It is very personal, but also includes ideas and possibilities for each of us when faced with adversity.
Here is the breakdown.
“Up close and personal podcast where Kavi talks about his recent experience with ‘illness.’
It includes a confession about how he tried to be more bulletproof than he actually was, and the valuable lessons he has learned from recent events.
It is call for each of us to discover the Guru within and learn to listen to the voice that whispers in all the noise.
It is a call for a new peacefulness and calmness in the face of life’s turbulence and drama.”

I hope you will listen, and would love to hear from you, particularly if it speaks to you in any way.
And please share it if you are moved. Thanks!

Or here:

half_resolutionClick on the image.

Or:
https://soundcloud.com/the-power-to-change/023-i-thought-i-was-more-bulletproof-than-i-actually-was