I am going to share something with you today. And its going to be about stress. And its dramatic effect on the body when it is allowed to run rampant and un-dealt with.
I would like to say this is difficult for me to admit to, but quite honestly if it serves you or anyone else I feel that my experience will not have been in vain. So please, share this post if you know someone who may benefit from it.
Some of you may know I am now in America with my beautiful wife, author and teacher Amoda Maa Jeevan. We have been here for over two weeks, in California. It has been a long and, at times, very difficult journey to get here. We are here on a long visa as it is our intention to live here long term. We left here in December 2015, and from then till now we have been nomadic, homeless, moving around, AND Amoda has been applying for the visa AND writing her new book. Both of those things have been seriously hard core tasks, but to achieve them successfully over our days, weeks and months of nomadic, erratic living, was a massive undertaking. She is an amazing human being!
Here is the confession. I have carried the experience, the ups and downs, the challenges, stresses, fears and difficulties not so well. My body tells the story of my life. Since the days of my Ulcerative Colitis, auto immune issue, I have had a very sensitive relationship with my physical body. It reveals everything to me, and mirrors all my emotional and mental turbulence and anxiety. I cannot hide it from my body. Some people can, they just don’t feel it in their body. I DO! You might as well, some folks do and thats a gift and a burden.
Have I shared with you about my ongoing rash this year? Oh it has been dreadful, and very very full on. Whole body rash, skin flaking, swollen arms, welts, inflammation, the whole works. It has been thought of, at various times, as urticaria, psoriasis, fungus, bacterial infection, mercury poisoning, tropical infection, and so on. Yet it has been elusive.
Since we got here I have seen a doctor, who has taken blood and I get results next week.
HERE IS THE REASON FOR THIS BLOG.
I got a referral to a Dermatologist, who I saw yesterday. I stripped down and showed him my skin, he prodded and peered, asked a load of questions and then I expected him to agree with the doctor that it was ring worm and fungal infection.
“NO.’ He said, “It’s not any of that.”
“It looks like it has multiple causes that have arisen as this rash, certainly your immune system is a big factor as it is still (and forever will be) damaged with the auto immune you have carried. But the other factor is STRESS.“
STRESS!!! Not just Stress!
And it really struck me in that moment how powerful STRESS, ANXIETY AND FEAR are on the physical body systems.
Immune system and nervous system, they are the two main systems that are affected by mind and emotions. And they impact every area of health. If you are one of those people who feel it all in their bodies, you have a gift and a burden. The gift is all your mental and emotional burdens, stresses and traumas are revealed to you dramatically and viscerally, and thats your invitation to deal with them consciously. The burden is that it hurts and you can get away with nothing. It gets tiring having a sensitive body.
It gets REAL TIRING! My answer is surrender and acceptance and a refusal to medicate unless I absolutely bottom line have to, and settle for nothing, never accept a diagnosis unless it feels 100% spot on, and ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL COMPONENT.
Taken two days ago – I am getting better, the rash is clearing!
You see, we all want these problems to be caused by something outside ourselves. That makes it easier to deal with. I have dealt with so much over the years, I mean I cannot begin to tell you what I have dealt with, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically, WOW! And I guess I thought I had reached some kind of level where I was beyond it.
But this last year I admit I have felt the fears in my body, I have felt the anxiety about the future in my body.
I have felt the sudden pit of fear in my body.
I have felt the fateful feeling of foreboding in my body.
I have felt deep feelings of ancient abandonment in my body, and I have felt childhood traumas and existential troubles in my body.
Never, never, never underestimate the power of the mind over the body. Body will ultimately surrender to mind, thats the bottom line. Mind is, to a certain extent, more powerful than the body, until the body dies.
And I have learned that this is my life’s lesson. I am here to learn how to relax fully regardless of outer circumstance, regardless of what is happening. I am here to learn to be ok with life AS IT IS. That is a life path.
So we each need to find our life’s lesson. It’s all about our spiritual/existential/soul/karma and how it manifests. What are we here to learn?
What are you here to learn? If you have an issue with the physical form, if any of what I’ve said resonates with you, look inside, investigate and inquire.
It helps to know, it brings some relief to one’s personal suffering and gives a greater context for any illness.
Thank you for reading!